10-2-2012 - We'll See!

My mood while writing this blog: Indifferent

Well its been a while since Ive been on here to write anything. Its also been a while since ive made up my mind to give having a baby another try. I'm still not 100% sure if this is a good idea or not considering there is about 1000 things going on in my life right now and throwing being pregnant into the mix might just make or break me. I dont want my daughter to get any older however and not have a sibling. Thats where I am torn. My husband and I have been back and forth since we were dating, I've filed for divorce 3 different times, this last one is still pending...its been a rocky road and I dont see it getting any smoother any time soon. My husband and I are working on things now, i am trying hard not to have any expectations or jump into anything too quick but I always seem to go back to him, so maybe we are just meant to be together and we are meant to accept each others flaws and deal with them. Thats a hard one to choke down but true for me at least nevertheless.

But I was given advice the other day that kinda took me back a bit. They told me that there really is NEVER a good time to have a baby because life doesnt slow down or get put on hold for you. Me being in the military and switching jobs at the moment, about to leave for tech school and then PCS to a different base after that and who knows after that, Ive come to realize i will never have a perfect time in my life where everything is stress free and I would be able to have my baby without issues or complications of life. I will just have to go with the flow and see where life takes me.

In conclusion to this little blog that really has no main focus, I am off birth control and not trying, but not preventing, a baby. If it happens it happens. I would love a sibling for my daughter, and I would love a new beautiful baby to love and cherish. It wont be easy, but I suppose nothing about life is ever really easy. So we'll see where this goes!