| mamacas26 | |
| mamacas26 has 20 days to go and is now in week 37 | |
 | Age: 27 Country: USA Province/region: City: Partner: Husband Kevin Children: Yes, 2 Pregnant: Yes Due date: 13 Dec ,2009 Occupation: clerical |
| Online: 2 hours ago. Last updated: 4 days ago. Member since: 640 days | |
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Ok, so today is my husband and I's 2nd wedding anniversary. Two years ago today I was 20 weeks pregnant with our son and walking down the aisle. I love my husband, and I love our family. I am so grateful to God for everything he has provided.
Now, on the other hand...I've been kind of bent out of shape about something. For those of you who've had babies or are currently pregnant, we know...pregnancy is hard work! And the work just keeps getting harder...birth, caring for the infant, and then worrying for the rest of your life! Well, it seems that my husband thinks pregnancy is a walk in the park. I just feel like he doesn't realize or appreciate how much it takes to grow this baby, work, and raise a family all at the same time takes. I mean hello, the nausea, the bloating, then the headaches, then the heartburn and the back aches....Can he not hear my complaints?!! All I want him to do is every once in awhile treat me like I'm pregnant...rub my feet without me begging him...rub my back when he hears me say it hurts so bad....lift something heavy for me, open a door....hold my hand while we walk...anything that shows me he cares and understands.
What spurred this frustration is something that happended two nights ago. My hubby wanted to make love, and I was really tired and my whole body hurt. We had just gotten back from camping for two nights on the ground. It old him that I didn't want to have sex, but I would because I wanted to make him happy, but I wanted a massage afterwards to help the aches...Well, needless to say, I did my part...no big "O" for me, and more sore after sex than before....My dear, dear hubby just washed up and went to sleep afterwards! I was upset, and I hate begging for a stinking massage...so I went to sleep mad. Here we are two days later on our anniversary and I'm still holding the grudge....
Wow, gees, this is getting long. Anyways, somebody PLEASE tell me straight up. Am I being selfish, or whiny, or out of place? Are my feelings valid? Are they over-dramatic? I need some input, and I appreciate honesty.
I'm finding it difficult to be like, "oh honey, happy anniversary, I'm so appreciative of you right now, you are the best"
Now lay it on me ladies...put me in my place and tell me what's up.
Thanks!
11 Comments on Need advise on how I'm feeling....
LiseyB - Thursday, 13 Aug
Mamacas, you did it the wrong way round. I hold off until I get my massage. It works a treat. No massage, not nookies. Simple. He better make it up to you big time after failing to come through with the goods.
Ashle - Wednesday, 12 Aug
I know the feeling, they act like it is so easy! ugh, I have placenta previa and that means so sex for me, but he always wants me to please him and I do but u know he gives me a hard time when i want something back saying he is tired from work, I hate asking him, He does what i ask sometimes but it's not the same if u have to keep asking right. ugh men!
bibblebop - Tuesday, 11 Aug
I understand what you are saying completely, and you are quite within your rights to be pampered a little.. i sometimes get the same treatment from hubby, he's not always interested in what my body is doing or how its affecting me, it can be very frustrating, but i honestly dont think they mean to, i really think that becasue they cant feel what your going through and their not feeling it themselves, they are blind to it. Some advice, i would try writing a 'brief' but to the point email about what happened, how it made you feel and what you want him to do about it. I find writing it down and sending it to them means they cant hear your 'nagging' voice (even if your not nagging men seem to think your nagging anyway!).. anyway i have found that to be a bit of help for me. Hope you get it off your chest soon and can enjoy the rest of your anniversary xx take care love
mumof3and1onway - Tuesday, 11 Aug
i also think ur feelings are valid.. i mean we have sex.. uncomfortable it is for me.. and i think sometimes he forgets im pregnant and goes to fast and roughish...i think they are selfish.. thinking of only themselves... they have no fukking idea how we feel cause they dont take the time to acknowledge our exsistance half the time... seems we are in similar places at the moment... just gotta kep on keeping on cause once this baby is born.. a rude shock they will get.. cause for me.. he will be doing half the damn work .. no more him getting away with it...
mumof3and1onway - Tuesday, 11 Aug
so know how u feel on the underappreciated pregnancy topic.. my partner is pretty much the same.. and i have plecnta previa... and finding it hard on my own to do the kid thing and clean the house... seems never ending.. and i never get a back rub or anything... they so dont know what its like to grow a baby.. given half a chance at pregnancy they would get the first few weeks and wanna give up...
pugdunn - Tuesday, 11 Aug
I know what you mean ... but remember about him too. I know it hard sometimes that they don't understand what we are going through ... we have to remember what they are going through too. A nagging pregnant wife if not always the best thing to listen too. I have been there twice going on my third time ... hang in there. Husbands are like babies that wear bigger clothes : ) Hopeful he will wake up and see how mad that made you.
★DCsFantasticFour - Tuesday, 11 Aug
Not at all!!!! Hubby and I got into a HUGE blowout today over the same exact S***
jaylensmummy07 - Tuesday, 11 Aug
Your so not selfish at all. The other night my hubby wanted sex and i joked around saying you have a perfectly good working hand lol He found it funny though and is completely understanding when im not in the mood. I must say im spoilt with massages i get one every 2nd night. Men just dont realise sometimes how insensitive they are and they are too dumb to figure it out themselves you need to spell it out for them, maybe try talking to your hubby about it?
michelle5288 - Tuesday, 11 Aug
I totally understand! Men just DONT get it. I know how you feel... i dont even complain that much and hes like ugh god stop complaining blah blah. He tries but sometimes he gets like this. Hes been good about things but like i said, they dont really get it. Youre totally not being selfish, but try to realize theyre pretty dumb when it comes to this. Hope things work out for you girl.
Shelley- - Tuesday, 11 Aug
Hi, no i don't think u r being selfish at all - pregnancy is hard enough without having to put up with the whims of other people & to be honest by u telling him u didn't want have sex he should have been a little more sensitive & forgotten about the sex & rubbed ur back anyway - u r doing the hard work here, if all u want everynow & then is a bit of a back rub then he should be bending over backwards to do it & keep u happy! Men can be funny creatures sometimes! Hope u start to feel a bit better soon!x
cpalmer - Tuesday, 11 Aug
oh i would be pissed beyond belief if my hubby did that to me!! im sorry men can be so emotionally retarded :/ happy anniversary hun and i hope u can work it out :) xxxx
| 11-8-2009 - Need advise on how I'm feeling.... |  My mood while writing this blog:poopy pants. |
Ok, so today is my husband and I's 2nd wedding anniversary. Two years ago today I was 20 weeks pregnant with our son and walking down the aisle. I love my husband, and I love our family. I am so grateful to God for everything he has provided.
Now, on the other hand...I've been kind of bent out of shape about something. For those of you who've had babies or are currently pregnant, we know...pregnancy is hard work! And the work just keeps getting harder...birth, caring for the infant, and then worrying for the rest of your life! Well, it seems that my husband thinks pregnancy is a walk in the park. I just feel like he doesn't realize or appreciate how much it takes to grow this baby, work, and raise a family all at the same time takes. I mean hello, the nausea, the bloating, then the headaches, then the heartburn and the back aches....Can he not hear my complaints?!! All I want him to do is every once in awhile treat me like I'm pregnant...rub my feet without me begging him...rub my back when he hears me say it hurts so bad....lift something heavy for me, open a door....hold my hand while we walk...anything that shows me he cares and understands.
What spurred this frustration is something that happended two nights ago. My hubby wanted to make love, and I was really tired and my whole body hurt. We had just gotten back from camping for two nights on the ground. It old him that I didn't want to have sex, but I would because I wanted to make him happy, but I wanted a massage afterwards to help the aches...Well, needless to say, I did my part...no big "O" for me, and more sore after sex than before....My dear, dear hubby just washed up and went to sleep afterwards! I was upset, and I hate begging for a stinking massage...so I went to sleep mad. Here we are two days later on our anniversary and I'm still holding the grudge....
Wow, gees, this is getting long. Anyways, somebody PLEASE tell me straight up. Am I being selfish, or whiny, or out of place? Are my feelings valid? Are they over-dramatic? I need some input, and I appreciate honesty.
I'm finding it difficult to be like, "oh honey, happy anniversary, I'm so appreciative of you right now, you are the best"
Now lay it on me ladies...put me in my place and tell me what's up.
Thanks!
11 Comments on Need advise on how I'm feeling....
LiseyB - Thursday, 13 Aug
Mamacas, you did it the wrong way round. I hold off until I get my massage. It works a treat. No massage, not nookies. Simple. He better make it up to you big time after failing to come through with the goods.
Ashle - Wednesday, 12 Aug
I know the feeling, they act like it is so easy! ugh, I have placenta previa and that means so sex for me, but he always wants me to please him and I do but u know he gives me a hard time when i want something back saying he is tired from work, I hate asking him, He does what i ask sometimes but it's not the same if u have to keep asking right. ugh men!
bibblebop - Tuesday, 11 Aug
I understand what you are saying completely, and you are quite within your rights to be pampered a little.. i sometimes get the same treatment from hubby, he's not always interested in what my body is doing or how its affecting me, it can be very frustrating, but i honestly dont think they mean to, i really think that becasue they cant feel what your going through and their not feeling it themselves, they are blind to it. Some advice, i would try writing a 'brief' but to the point email about what happened, how it made you feel and what you want him to do about it. I find writing it down and sending it to them means they cant hear your 'nagging' voice (even if your not nagging men seem to think your nagging anyway!).. anyway i have found that to be a bit of help for me. Hope you get it off your chest soon and can enjoy the rest of your anniversary xx take care love
mumof3and1onway - Tuesday, 11 Aug
i also think ur feelings are valid.. i mean we have sex.. uncomfortable it is for me.. and i think sometimes he forgets im pregnant and goes to fast and roughish...i think they are selfish.. thinking of only themselves... they have no fukking idea how we feel cause they dont take the time to acknowledge our exsistance half the time... seems we are in similar places at the moment... just gotta kep on keeping on cause once this baby is born.. a rude shock they will get.. cause for me.. he will be doing half the damn work .. no more him getting away with it...
mumof3and1onway - Tuesday, 11 Aug
so know how u feel on the underappreciated pregnancy topic.. my partner is pretty much the same.. and i have plecnta previa... and finding it hard on my own to do the kid thing and clean the house... seems never ending.. and i never get a back rub or anything... they so dont know what its like to grow a baby.. given half a chance at pregnancy they would get the first few weeks and wanna give up...
pugdunn - Tuesday, 11 Aug
I know what you mean ... but remember about him too. I know it hard sometimes that they don't understand what we are going through ... we have to remember what they are going through too. A nagging pregnant wife if not always the best thing to listen too. I have been there twice going on my third time ... hang in there. Husbands are like babies that wear bigger clothes : ) Hopeful he will wake up and see how mad that made you.
★DCsFantasticFour - Tuesday, 11 Aug
Not at all!!!! Hubby and I got into a HUGE blowout today over the same exact S***
jaylensmummy07 - Tuesday, 11 Aug
Your so not selfish at all. The other night my hubby wanted sex and i joked around saying you have a perfectly good working hand lol He found it funny though and is completely understanding when im not in the mood. I must say im spoilt with massages i get one every 2nd night. Men just dont realise sometimes how insensitive they are and they are too dumb to figure it out themselves you need to spell it out for them, maybe try talking to your hubby about it?
michelle5288 - Tuesday, 11 Aug
I totally understand! Men just DONT get it. I know how you feel... i dont even complain that much and hes like ugh god stop complaining blah blah. He tries but sometimes he gets like this. Hes been good about things but like i said, they dont really get it. Youre totally not being selfish, but try to realize theyre pretty dumb when it comes to this. Hope things work out for you girl.
Shelley- - Tuesday, 11 Aug
Hi, no i don't think u r being selfish at all - pregnancy is hard enough without having to put up with the whims of other people & to be honest by u telling him u didn't want have sex he should have been a little more sensitive & forgotten about the sex & rubbed ur back anyway - u r doing the hard work here, if all u want everynow & then is a bit of a back rub then he should be bending over backwards to do it & keep u happy! Men can be funny creatures sometimes! Hope u start to feel a bit better soon!x
cpalmer - Tuesday, 11 Aug
oh i would be pissed beyond belief if my hubby did that to me!! im sorry men can be so emotionally retarded :/ happy anniversary hun and i hope u can work it out :) xxxx
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