05-2-2009 - 31 wk checkup...and some other news

My mood while writing this blog: exhausted

oh sleep please invade my eyes...i feel like i could sleep for days and still be unphased....i swear im up all night bc im jittery and i think sooo much..the thoughts just run thru my head..and nothing in particular..just whatever..then lately ive been arguing with my MIL over about everything...i move and almost pee on myself at times...i love feeling lil chris kick and move about and all but sometimes it hurts really bad...like last night it felt like the top of my belly was just going to tear open and my *coochie* was being used for a trampoline...ugh...im tired of being so full...i just want to sleep on my stomach for once and not feel so "fragile" as put by jennayla *sp?* i want to go out and do things like walk without being out of breath and jump around...it doesnt help that the weather is cold though...maybe im getting cabin fever....ick....with my fiance's work schedule and my appt.s i feel like there is nothing left for sleep...and i cant get out of my house either....

ok next rant....sunday is my baby shower...yay....right?!?!? unfortunately not...we are in financial ruin i swear...his hours are getting cut bc its slow right now...we were supposed to get his income tax refund monday but something happened and its been delayed...maybe the 9th we'll get it ?!?!?! i dunno...hopefully tomorrow!!! anyways..i said that we should cancel the shower and he refused...i think he tries to hard sometimes to make me happy....i am happy...i dont need a shower to be happy...then there's the house issue....that goes back to the refund issue...we gave our landlord our 30 day notice...she's mad..we are one of her few and far btwn best renters....we need $500 to move into this other house by march...no prob right?!?!? i dont know anymore...i just know that i have lots of packing to do and i dont know where we stand on money...im clueless...i also know that all this tension in the house needs to go away before too long...im ready to snap...i try to stay calm but i can only take so much pressure before i go off...yes...i have patience with my children but i do not have patience for rude, miserable, inconsiderate adults...

next rant....my mother needs to get her stuff out of my house...*annoyed* i feel like her storage unit...maybe i should start charging fees....she's using me....again....and im letting her..

last rant....i dont understand the doctor...i know that the last time my placenta was low...but he doesnt want to do an u/s until im 38 wks..what if i dont go till 38 wks and then what if the placenta go "crash" and then im bleeding all over the place...come on for real...ive dealt with complications early on in this pregnancy and the last thing i want is another cesarean but if i have placenta previa i want to know now not later...i know that the placenta has probably moved up but i dont want to take any chances...i dunno...i guess if its still low ill bleed again eventually and that will be the sign right??? anyways...baby is fine...heart rate is 139...still measuring all right...as far as circumcision i guess those papers will be filled out over there eventually..i have another appt. on the 17 and then probably the 3 or 4 of march and then ill start getting the "finger" checks and the group b strep test and i start going weekly...only a short period of time left....

sorry if i rambled...i have this headache and i need to try to take a nap...i just needed to say some stuff maybe ya'll will understand my ramblings...here i go again...sometimes i dont even make sense to myself...i swear...im well edu-macated!!! ;-]