15-3-2009 - i think waaaayyy too much for my own good!!!

My mood while writing this blog: iffy

Today marks my 2 wks until the cesarean and im starting to get a little nervous...i had a bad recovery experience from the last one and im not looking forward much to this one but i want my son to be safe... anyways...last night i was thinking *since i cant sleep much anymore* and im so not looking forward to the after effects of having a child...yea...we're cute with the buddah bellies and all but i keep thinking of what buddah bellies look like after they dont have kids in them!!! my tummy is going to be flat....flabby...and being that its cut thru the muscle...going to take FOREVER to reclaim!!!! im going to have to do like hardcore ab work after having him...and its going to be at least 2 months before i can do anything that serious..yea ill start out small but in the end...oh my...

also...im getting nervous all around about this altogther...yes this is my second kid...yes ive been thru this before...but now its not just me and desto and daddy...its going to be me and desto and daddy and jr.... im worried that my daughter wont get any attention that she deserves from the others...i know damn well ill be forking over attention..but i dont want everyone caught up just in lil chris and miss out on destiny...she is spoiled right now with attention...its not like i think she's going to be jealous or anything...i actually think she will be my big helper...but in the end to see her upset bc nobody wants to pay her any attention would break my heart..... alright...im done for now...ill write more later cuz God knows i have so much on my mind!!!