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01-5-2009 - in shock...

My mood while writing this blog: traumatized!

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i am at a loss...i know it was a long time coming but i never thought it would come down to this...my mom has always been neglectful of us...but last night i guess was the last straw btwn her and my brother...i basically witnessed my brother beat my mother down into a bloody mess...how am i supposed to feel about this...her lip was swollen and split so badly the skin was hanging off of it...he kicked her in the ribs and everything...i had to call the police and then he started after me...but he stopped...he just grabbed the phone out of my hand and smashed it on the ground...i told him never to come back...i took him in to help him bc he didnt have a place to stay and no job...we got him a job that he never went to and gave him a month...well today was his last day and i told him he could stay a few days ago until him and my mom got their apartment...i dont know how to feel...i know she had it coming bc she always pushed us away and pawned us off on family...and my brother had it the worst...he was put in juvenile jail and foster care....well...last night i got into an argument with my future MIL and my fiance told me to leave...i was even more shocked...we are supposed to be making a life together and he doesnt even care that she treats me like shit...he tells me to deal with it bc she is beneficial...id rather live poor and have nothing than to feel unworthy...she calls me a bitch on a daily basis and drinks like a fish...and 85% of the time she's drinking she turns into a raging bitch...why should i be miserable bc she's miserable??? its getting so bad that me and chris have been arguing so much more and i dont know what to do...all i wanted was some emotional support...we talked after she went to bed and he still refused to put his mom out...all bc shes an on demand babysitter and she pays rent and buys some food *if you want to call that shit food at all* i felt so alone....he says that he cussed her out for treating me that way but i still dont feel like he's standing up for me at all!!! what am i gonna do...i really need advice...what would you guys do...yea she is a benefit but not enough for me to be so miserable...how am i supposed to tune her out...i can only hear about how lazy i am and how much of a bitch i am on a daily basis for so long before i myself might snap....i dotn care if he told her off or not i still feel like he pushed me to the side when she was the one that was wrong...just bc i yelled at her...i cant do this anymore...

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3 Comments on in shock...


luckypenny - Friday, 1 May
The whole MIL will come in time...My hubby's whole fam treats him like a f-ing doormat POS...I put it to him like this...."They treat you like garbage...me like garbage....what the hell do you think they will do to our children?" That helped a bit...he's stopped trying to be a momma's boy...stopped kissing his sister's ass...just give it time. I say this and yet I know how infuriating it is. I lost my mind when he dropped his bro off at his sis' house and went in to see his niece....I felt so betrayed and disrespected...so I know how you feel...it takes guys a lil while to realize things we know instantly.

melissaann - Friday, 1 May
wow...i agree,, he should have stood up for you in FRONT of you, and made his mom know her place..as for the rest of it, im ss you have to deal with all this it doesnt make being post partum any fun and worsens it..ive kinda felt like ive been doing everything lately, well and i am.. he works so im left to do everything else... WRONG. and i made it clear the other day lol.. and its like pulling teeth to get my 15 yr old to take out the garbage and of course if she slacks on it, she wonders why my husband yells at her, and even though hes been raising her since she was 6, she turns around with "you're not my dad" (shes at that stage) and like a child he yells back "yeah where is your dad, oh yes prison" i refuse to take sides lol

SunnyMom - Friday, 1 May
Honey...I can be here to offer my hugs and support but I haven't been through your sitution so it's hard to advise but I'll try :-) My dad was very abusive...an alcolholic who beat us, had scary fights with my mom, and constantly left home..it was a very insecure childhood that took me years of therapy to overcome. My brother is the same way now, very depressed and abusive so I have to stay away from him. It is not a healthy environment for your little darling baby to have fighting and negativity around you all the time. YOu want to feel strong and positive and not have someone making you feel bad about yourself all the time. It is very hard to do alone without the support of outside friends. Do you have anyone else who can lend you some support to get through this? You have to get away from his mother she is very bad for your confidence and esteem. I know you want your fiance to take your side but often they can'T/won't...my MIL is a monster and treats me awfully behind my hubby's back and he won't do anything...I am literally waiting for her to die...I know a horrible thing to say but it's true! Ha,ha!! I agree with you that rather be poor and find your happiness. YOu can always find a way. YOu are in my prayers...I am so sorry that you have to go through all this stress. Wish I could spirit you away to an island with your little baby :-)