09-2-2010 - Survivor - the next edition

My mood while writing this blog: laughing

THE NEXT SURVIVOR
> SERIES
>
>
>
> Six married men
> will be dropped on an island with one car and
> 3 kids each for six weeks.
>
>
> Each kid will play two sports
> and take either music or dance classes.
>
>
> There is no fast food.
>
> Each man must
> take care of his 3 kids;
> keep his assigned house clean,
>
> correct all homework,
> complete science projects,
> cook,
> do laundry,
> and pay a list of 'pretend' bills
> with not enough money.
>
>
> In
> addition, each man
> will have to budget in money
> for groceries each week.
>
>
> Each man
> must remember the birthdays
> of all their friends and relatives,
> and send cards out on time--no emailing.
>
>
> Each man must also take each child
> to a doctor's appointment,
> a dentist appointment
> and a haircut appointment.
>
>
> He must make one unscheduled and
> inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care.
>
>
> He must also make cookies or cupcakes
> for a social function.
>
>
> Each man will be responsible for
> decorating his own assigned house,
>
> planting flowers outside, and keeping it
> presentable at all times.
>
>
> The men will only have access to television
> when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.
>
>
> The men must shave theirlegs,
>
> wear makeup daily,
>
> adorn
> themselves with jewelry,
>
> wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,
>
> keep fingernails polished,
>
> and eyebrows groomed
>
>
> During one of the six weeks,
>
> the men will have to endure severe
> abdominal cramps, back aches, head aches,
> have extreme, unexplained mood swings
> but never once complain or slow down
> from other duties.
>
>
> They must attend weekly school meetings and
> church,
> and find time at least once to spend
> the afternoon at the park or a similar
> setting.
>
>
> They will need to read a book to the kids
> each night and in the morning,
> feed them,
> dress them,
> brush their teeth and
> comb their hair
> by 7:00 am.
>
>
> A test
> will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be
> required to know all of the following information:
> each child's
> birthday,
> height, weight,
> shoe size, clothes size,
> doctor's name,
> the child's weight at birth,
> length, time of birth,
> and length of labor,
> each child's favorite color,
> middle name,
> favorite snack,
> favorite song,
> favorite drink,
> favorite toy,
> biggest fear,
> and what they want to be when they grow up.
>
>
> The kids vote them off the island based on performance.
>
> The last man wins only if...
> he still
> has enough energy
> to be intimate with his spouse
> at a moment's
> notice.
>
>
> If the last man does win,
> he can play the game over and over and over
> again for the next 18-25 years,
> eventually earning the right
> to be called Mother!
>
>
> After you get done laughing,
> send this to as many females as
> you think will get a kick out of it and
> as many men as you think can handle it.
> Just don't send it back to me....
>
> I'm going to bed.