15-10-2008 - Very Confused!

My mood while writing this blog: Confused!

I am starting to rethink the whole idea of TTC. I am so confused, I don't think I have ever been this confused before. I have been doing a lot of thinking and I keep asking myself why can't we get pregnant? Are we ready to be parents? What if it's not the right time? How can we be so stupid to think we could just bring a life into this world not knowing how we are going to support it financially? I have no idea if we can even concieve, we can't afford to go to a fetility specialist. How are we going to support our child? I know we will love and care for a child with all our heart, but is that enough? What if maybe it just isn't meant to be that we become parents? I really try so very hard to stay positive but it seems to be getting harder every day. It just seems that every where we turn there is either an expecting couple or some thing to do with babies or being pregnant. Don't get me wrong I am the first person to congratulate anybody I know that finds out that they are expecting, but at the same time I stop and wonder will that ever be us telling our family and friends that we are expecting. Will we ever be called mommy and daddy? I'm sorry I just needed to vent.

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