24-4-2008 - Yucky!

My mood while writing this blog: Indescribable

Ok so today is the first time in my pregnancy where I have felt completely unattractive and just down right humongous!!!!! I am getting so ridiculously uncomfortable. You know I feel so yucky when I get so upset about small things like weight gain or stretch marks. I think about all the women who can NEVER experience pregnancy or have lost their little angels and I feel like I should just get over myself. But I am human and this pregnancy stuff is an emotional upheaval like no other. I went shopping tonight for an outfit for my baby shower and I thought I was going to start crying right there in the dressing room. I felt absolutely uggghhhhh in everything I tried on and of course the one top that I really liked was BLUE!!!! Although there is no federal law prohibiting me from wearing blue to my baby shower just beacause I am having a girl....strangely enough I feel obligated to wear pink.....I'm losing my mind.....officially. On top of it all my husband is working 80+ hours a week right now and we are super close so we are going crazy being away from each other. I try to remain thankful for every blessing in my life.....and that's a lot to be thankful for because I am so blessed. Today I just felt disgusting and really wanted my pre baby body back. I think I heard myself whimper as I walked past the jeans I used to fit in on my way to buy a 4000 triple F bra. See.....Marley just did one of her what I like to call "rabbit kicks".....she always brings me back to realiy!!!! I'm pregnant with a healthy baby girl by the love of my life and best friend and I'm complaining about a blue shirt.