15-1-2009 - this will all seem petty once i get to hold you

My mood while writing this blog: uncomfortable

Dear fellow coworkers: Please allow me one day this week to walk into the office and make it to my desk, let me sip on my coffee and catch up my emails before you decide to bombard me with stupid comments / questions like “you’re still pregnant?” or “when are you going to have that baby?” “Oh, you poor little thing” Please know that if I could afford to be laying on my couch right now with a big bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios watching daytime network trash TV, I would. I’m working because I feel fine, a little sleepy, but fine. Doc says my BP is good and baby’s heart rate is normal and s/he is head down and getting ready. So please just let me waddle around the office and maybe ask me about the weather or my new engagement and stop feeling bad for me! You are putting unnecessary pressure on my over-emotional mind.

**sigh of relief**

I’ve invested some time in researching home induction methods and have attempted a few with unrewarding results. I do, however, find it amusing that the exact action that caused this situation could have a significant impact on ending it. So, I’ve been trying to do as much of the “baby dance” as I can handle. Hoping with each ‘ending’ that that will be the one that softens the cervix enough to start this process of labor. Jake has been such a trooper through this whole pregnancy. Lately, he hasn’t hesitated when I’ve asked for a foot / back or hand rub, even using a “tranquil mint stress relief” lotion to top it off. And each time I complain, he’s there to say to me, “this won’t even matter once you are holding your baby” - how do you argue with a statement like that? I can’t help but smile on the inside and outside when I think about holding him / her. Jake’s been by my side as I walk the mall, well, more like shuffle the mall and bought me a bottle of wine (mom’s induction suggestion) over the weekend. Home induction methods may be fun to believe in and try, but I know that Baby will arrive when it’s his/her time – until then, hurry up and wait.

So, Jake’s grandpa has been living with Alzheimer’s for quite a few years now and Jake’s mom has been his caregiver since I’ve known her, staying with him six out of seven days a week, changing diapers, feeding, putting to bed – basically caring for a physically strong, adult sized baby. Well, Grandpa caught what sounds like a pretty nasty flu and can’t seem to shake it. Hospice has been called in and Vicki has started making arrangements for visitation / funeral services. I can’t imagine the mix of emotions she is carrying around as she prepares to say goodbye to a parent and hello to a grandbaby.

I had better start doing some productive work. Congrats to all you beautiful new mothers out there…I love that all the profile pictures are changing to smiling babies. Send **baby dust** my way! Take Care J