megeanua's I-am-pregnantblog

megeanua
	Age: 23 Country: US Province/region: AL City: Partner: Spencer Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: Not anymore Occupation: Graphic Designer
	Online: More than 3 months ago Last updated: 789 days ago. Member since: 1076 days
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29-7-2009 - Crazy Emotions?

My mood while writing this blog:
emotional

I feel like a crazy emotional mess tonight. We came home from the hospital today and I can't quit crying. I feel so far away from him, even though he is just across the room. I know I don't need to spoil him and hold him all the time, but I just don't want to let him go. My mom came to help and I am really appreciative, but there have been so many people at the hospital and by the house, that I feel like I haven't gotten to do anything with him. He is such a good baby right now, very content with just being cuddled up and placed in his pack and play. I guess I was prepared for him being a lot more needy at first. I just wasn't prepared for this strange, empty feeling. My body just doesn't feel complete right now. I am really missing that closeness that only I shared with him. I know this is normal, but I feel like I am being crazy.

I am also incredibly upset that he didn't pass his hearing test. It really caught me off gaurd. When he was born, he immediately recognized my mom's voice when she came in. When she started talking he kept trying to find her. He was also really responsive to noises the entire time I was pregnant. So when the nurse came in and told me this morning, I just wasn't expecting it. They told me not to worry, because they don't have the best equipment for testing anyways. He has been scheduled to see a specialist, but it isn't until Aug. 12th. That is going to seem so far way.

3 Comments on Crazy Emotions?

sinny - Thursday, 30 Jul
I went threw the same stuff!! I felt lonley inside my own body now that I was not sharing it with my son. I cried a lot the first 2 days. I was so overwhelmed. But it gets better. I mean I still miss being pregnant and having him inside me. But it's better now I just keep reminding myself he IS right here and I can touch him and hug him and smell him... and OOHH he smells SO good! Hormones are NUTS right after you give birth and when your in the hospital you have the nurses and Dr's and people always in and out and helping and you dont have a lot of time to concentrate on yourself and emotions... it's when your home it kicks in. Don't worry things will get better!! Don't stress out about the hearing yet .. wait till you know more after his next test. Your baby is beautiful by the way. What a lovely picture your profile picture is!

dreaelise14 - Thursday, 30 Jul
The birthing class I took referred to the first three months of the baby's life as the "fourth" trimester. They said that you can't spoil a baby during those three months of life, no matter how hard you try. They encouraged us to hold and cuddle and snuggle our babies all day long if we wanted to. Don't worry about spoiling him at this point, just love him and enjoy him.

It is perfectly normal to feel down about not being pregnant anymore. It is hard to feel 'empty' and feel like you aren't the primary nurturer for your child anymore, but no matter how much help you get, you are still his mommy & he needs you more than anyone else in the world.

He is beautiful, your profile picture is amazing! He looks like he's smiling & waving at the camera - what a perfect picture!

As for the hearing screening goes, just don't worry about the results at the hospital. You can tell if he can hear, he probably just had some fluid in his ears & they said that their equipment sucked so you shouldn't take it too seriously yet. Wait for the specialist appt, you will probably be assured that everything is fine.

I hope you feel better, but we are here for support if you need us!

Hugs~ Andrea

Cynder - Wednesday, 29 Jul
try not to worry too much hun! my first little guy passed the hearing test in one ear and not the other..but then got retested a few days later and it turned out fine..sometimes they get mucus or some kind of fluid in their ears from the birth and such...i bet u he will be just great! The hormones after having a baby can really get u down, just remember that we're all here for ya!! Lots of Luck and Hugs! =)

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