04-9-2009 - hurt & upset!

My mood while writing this blog: hurt

Last night was rough. My fiance and I have been getting along great lately and had an awesome day yesterday, so I really don't know what went wrong. We have always gotten along well, hardly ever argue..just the occasional healthy argument. Last night Hudson woke up for his normal 3 am feeding, my fiance looked at me and said, "Do you want to get this one?", and I said sure. Well, I am just not the immediately hop out of the bed kind of person. I sleep in my contacts (awful habit) and I have to give my eyes a couple of minutes to adjust. Well before I had time to get up, he did. I heard him walk in the kitchen, so I just assumed he was getting a bottle. When he came back in the bedroom, he didn't have one. All I said was, "oh I thought you wuold have gotten a bottle?". He got really upset, said something about how he his tired of being told what to do. I got upset (keep in mind I am still half asleep) and went to get the bottle. Well my temper got the best of me and I shut the door a little loud. He immediately screams, "F*** you!".

I have NEVER had anyone, especially him speak to me in this way. I am really upset about it and don't think I should be spoken to this way. I understand that he is under a lot of stress with work, but I find that phrase very derogatory, and considering he never cusses..makes me feel horrible that he would feel the need to scream that at me. Well this morning I decided that, it's not fair for me to instantly forgive him like I always do when he hurts my feelings. I feel that if I just forgive him, I am telling him it is ok for him to speak to me this way. He is already at work and we have been talking through texts, he is very upset and feels horrible. I am just upset, it's like lately he has had an ever shortening patience with me. I know this is normal, we went from just being a couple, to a family. But this hurts.