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26-6-2008 - i really thought that everything would be fine i never thought that this would happen

My mood while writing this blog: scared

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testing my parental limits!

just when i thought that life was going good! after kwame jr.'s last surgery i prayed to GOD that this would be the end. I had a feeling that it wasnt but i tried to stay POSITIVE!!! well praying nd positiviness did not cut it. last weekend (fathers day weekend) kwame noticed that the babies head was big, then the next day he said it seemed bigger and then in monday he said he thinks it had doubled. the first 2 times i really did not pay any mind to what he was saying but then i started to get worried so i started feeling for his soft spot and it want there there was nothing soft about his head. so off the the er for the 3rd time. this time i took him to childrens hospital. well losg story short he has hydrochephalus( water on the brain) i knew that could be a side affect of the meningitis i just did not think that it would happen to us. i was more worried about he being blind or deaf. i really did not think that he would get the hydrocephalus. so the scheduled him for brain surgery to put a shunt in. its a device to drain the water from him brain to his tummy and he will have it 4ever. so i spent 1.5 weeks living in the ronald mc donald house. it is right behind the hospital and you can stay there if u have sick kids. my baby has his surgery last wednesday 6/18 and after surgery he ate a lil then stopped breathing in my moms arms while i was sleeping. so the coded him and he was on the ventilator for 3 days. we found out that he tried to spit up but because of all the morphine and anesthesia when he spit up it went back down into his lungs. he aspirated. then we had to wait for him to have an mri done that showed that he had scar tissue in his brain from the meningitis and he had a hearing test that showed some hearing loss in his left ear, another side affect from the meningitis. but the upside to all this is he looks so much better, he has a personality now he is not so stiff and THANK THE LORD NO MORE CRY BABY! so now i am praying that this is it. I know its not we have a long road ahead of us....but i know that GOD is on my side. all the docs said to worry about today because that is all we can do. they have no answers for our future and that is scary, but hey i am only going to think about 2day. :)

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12 Comments on i really thought that everything would be fine i never thought that this would happen


MARLEYSMOMMY - Thursday, 31 Jul
Keep your head up mama!!!! You are in my prayers always!!!

flineagle - Thursday, 3 Jul
Im praying for you. God is good so have faith.

DDJ - Tuesday, 1 Jul
we'll b praying for you.....things will get better hun

seven - Friday, 27 Jun
I can’t sit here and say I know how you feel because I don’t.
I do know however that God tests us and sometimes we wish he wouldn’t trust us so much
Because he sure does put some heavy weights on our shoulders but I can tell you are strong
And you will be able to lift them off and stay strong not just for yourself but for your child.
I know it’s hard to look on the bright side of things but because you are so careful and cautious
You guys realized that this was going on before it was too late and I applaud you for that.
Some parents just don’t care…. But you do…You care about your child.
Everyday is a blessing and you always have to look at it like that. Even on the day your child was born they said
Everything was normal and he was healthy something could happen at the drop of a dime. You never know what
Life holds but what you do know is you have the now and you must live in the moment
You must LIVE IN THE NOW.
You gave a child the gift of life and even if its 1 day or 100 years, YOU GAVE THAT CHILD THAT CHANCE…
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned or scorched, nor will the flame kindle upon you" (Isaiah 43:2).
God will walk with you through any difficulty you face. Your job is to trust in Him, and believe He loves you enough to take care of you.


coliflower - Friday, 27 Jun
Wow, I have you both on my mind and in my prayers...

damaurigirl07 - Friday, 27 Jun
God bless him. I hope that things get better. I really do.

carpenter1705 - Friday, 27 Jun
I read the blog and I think that I am more so scared for you I am praying for you and trying to keep an open mind and heart for you and your situation I hope all will get better and thinks will fall into place KJ is forever in my prayers and my heart

ladobruk - Friday, 27 Jun
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your little guy!

luvmy-buninoven - Thursday, 26 Jun
OMG... I'm glad to hear things are better for now, that's one strong lil guy! I'll keep you two in my prayers, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. He is so adorable.... you are blessed, and leave it in God's hands, he works wonders!

tashak - Thursday, 26 Jun
I couldnt even imagine what your going through but I can say prayer does soooo much God is always good. And your lil man is so handsome. I will keep you guys in my prayers.

angier - Thursday, 26 Jun
Aww gosh...gobless his little heart...Im am so sorry that you all are going through all of this ...Poor little kwame...but you are right all you can worry about is today and pray for a happy tomorrow...I know i will say a prayer for him !!and you !!! God bless and hang in there girl !

carmendayle - Thursday, 26 Jun
I'm happy to hear he's doing good now. It is scary and I agree, all you can do is worry about today. You never know about tomorrow, so whats the sense in worrying. I'm sorry to hear you've had to deal with all this with your baby, and I'll be sure to keep you and your baby in my prayers hun. I hope all gets better now, and be sure to keep us posted. Take care and Keep your head up, God has a plan for us all....