23-9-2008 - raging hormones, anyone?

My mood while writing this blog: Ok

woah, nellie. what is going on with me? let me set the stage for you. i went to prenatal yoga last tuesday night, which was amazing. i loved it. it ends at 8:45pm, so by 9:00 when i got home i was exhausted! i walked in the door, said hi to the hubs, and headed to the bathroom to start getting ready for bed. while i'm getting ready, i suddenly start feeling really, really sad that my house was dirty, and before i know it, i'm crying! the hubs hears me from the other room and comes into the bathroom to see what is wrong with me. "i don't know, i'm just really sad" i manage through my tears. poor hubs, he had no idea what was about to come. he hugged me, and for some reason that made me cry a lot harder. i got myself so upset that i barfed a little into the toilet! by this time, the hubs was making serious efforts to get me into bed and calmed down. i told him i HAD to brush my teeth first. so i walk to the sink, finally calm, and as i reach for my toothbrush, start bawling again! the hubs is looking at me like my head just fell off and timidly asks, "honey? why are you crying now?" through my tears i said, "because i don't want to brush my teeth! i'm scared i'm going to barf again if i put my toothbrush in my mouth!" "then don't brush your teeth!" "i haaaaave toooooo!" finally, i brush my teeth, take out my contacts, and collapse into my snoogle in bed. the hubs comes over, rubs my back, and tries to calm me down. he turns off the light, and slowly begins to creep out of the room as i, for some reason, start to cry again. he comes back over and hugs me, which makes me cry even harder. suddenly, i start getting super congested. no matter how many times i blow my nose, i can't clear it. this REALLY starts freaking me out, which makes me cry even harder. before i know it, i'm full on hyperventalating! the hubs ran and got a bag for me to breathe into, which i have never done before, and held my shoulders and told me to try and control my breathing. by this point i was completely out of control. i honestly felt like i couldn't breathe, and was terrified, and crying harder and harder, all the while gasping for air. finally, after about 10 more minutes, i was able to heed my husbands advice and calm down. i was able to breathe, and my emotional roller coaster was over. thank god.

i have no idea what happened tuesday night, and no idea what caused it. i do know that my emotions were completely controlling me for the first time in my life, and i did not enjoy it. i have been praying every day that i do not allow myself to get so out of control again, and that my hormones will not surge like that again, either! has anyone else experienced beastly emotional surges like this? or am i just a nut job?! please comment!

i have to say, my husband has been amazing through all of this. he was so calm, and so understanding. i am so thankful for his support.

i have had 2 more minor issues since then. sunday morning i started to talk to the hubs about getting the baby room ready. he had a different plan than me, which for some reason i couldn't handle. i started crying again, and for about 45 minutes was unconsolable! every time i tried to stop, i would just cry harder. finally, i was done, and felt fine! and then, today. today the hubs drove me to a doctor appt and afterwards i was hungry and totally snapped at him for the way he was driving, and for just being annoying! he really wasn't doing anything especially annoying- but for some reason he was just bugging me and i got into a terrible mood. i apologized after lunch, but i don't know what to do to stop this madness! how long will this craziness last?