27-10-2008 - Updates and Miscarriage..

My mood while writing this blog: sad...

UPDATE 9-12-08

So yesterday was quite a day. I got a call while I was at work from Sweet Moms (our local hospital's gestational diabetes service) to try to set up a meeting. I had my hour blood glucose test Tuesday, but I hadn't heard anything from my doctor's office. Apparently, they just decided not to call me and tell me that my results came out badly and I have gestational diabetes. So Sheryl from Sweet Moms was stumbling (cuz apparently, they don't get the paperwork til after the doctor's office has called the patient) and told me that I needed to call my doctor.

Fast forward a couple hours and I had my first ultra sound. I was in a pretty good mood (despite the diabetes news) and was excited to be able to hear my baby's heartbeat! We went in and they did the external ultra sound, but cuz I'm not that far along, they didn't find anything. So they let me go to the bathroom (which was a big relief) and then did the vaginal ultra sound. They found the baby pretty quickly.. But there was no heartbeat. Our baby measured at 8 1/2 weeks (by the date of lmp, I should be 9 1/2, so it's not too far off). But there was no heartbeat and no movement...

So now we are waiting to see if I lose the baby on my own. If nothing happens in the next week or two, we'll go back, get another ultrasound to see what's going on in me, and possibly have to schedule a D &C.

So I guess that's pretty much it for now...

I don't know if we'll try again at this point. It feels like I'm getting a message that we're not supposed to be parents...

UPDATE 9-24-08

Yesterday I had my second ultra sound.. I hadn't had any symptoms of a miscarriage so I wanted a second opinion (plus I didn't like my first doctor, which makes it hard to trust someone). The second ultra sound showed the exact same thing the first one did (it's what I honestly expected, so it came as no surprise). The baby died at 8 weeks, 3 days, exactly 3 weeks before yesterday. The new doctor answered all my questions and told me what I was looking at and for. (I liked the new doctor so much more than the first one!!) He told me that I could wait another week (to try to lose it on my own) without any fear of infection or anything bad happening inside of me. Wouldn't you know it, I started spotting last night. Not badly, but I'm hoping it's the start so I can lose it on my own instead of having to do a D&C...

I still don't know when/if I'm going to be up for trying again.. there's absolutely nothing to keep me from miscarrying again... Maybe, instead of a sign that we're not supposed to be parents, maybe it's a sign that we should adopt.. I don't know yet... I know I'll stick around this site for a little while at least.. I'm greatful for the support and friendship I've found here! It has made this a lot less lonely than my first one was.

MISCARRIAGE UPDATE 9-30-08

I had my miscarriage last night... It was worse than I thought it was going to be.. I started out at home at about 10 pm.. by 12:30 the pain was so bad that I thought I was dying and I threw up everything i had to eat all day... I couldn't even take pain medication, cuz I couldn't keep it down. So my husband called 911 and we were rushed to the ER. They gave me morphine for the pain, but it didn't help much. Nothing did until I passed a big rush of blood, then some of the pain lightened for a little (a very little) Then the pain was as bad as it was before, so they brought in a commode, and I sat on it and gushed blood, and eventually lost the baby all at once (placenta and everything came out at once).. It was big... I can't believe that it came out all at once.. but the pain got soooo much better after that... They did a pelvic exam to make sure there wasn't loose tissue, and a vaginal ultrasound to make sure there wasn't any baby left (so they wouldn't have to schedule a D&C). I feel grateful that I was able to lose it on my own. I think it'll be healthier for my body in the long run... (plus the thought of a D&C scares me!)

UPDATE 10-3-08

Just for anyone wondering.. going back to work the second day after a miscarriage is a BAD IDEA!!! I was so sore and so tired and still emotionally drained... I will never do that to myself again!