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08-12-2008 - Ah Hell... Here We Go Again...

My mood while writing this blog: A bit flipped out...

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Ok, my title pretty much gives it away...

I just got a positive pregnancy test... I don't even want it right now!! (not the baby, the positive result) It's too soon! I'm know I'm going to lose it for sure! It's just a matter of when.
I know, the first thought through everyone's mind will be "if you didn't want to get pregnant yet, why didn't you use protection?" I DID use protection! The funny thing is, between the last two pregnancies, all we did is pull out (I know, not really a form of birth control, but hey, it worked for us.) October, pretty much we just used pull out. And I had my period at the beginning of November. During the month of November, I started getting paranoid about getting pregnant too soon, so I made Greg wear a condom every time.. wouldn't you know, THAT'S when we got pregnant!?!
I know a baby is a wonderful thing! I really get it! I want to be a mom more than anything! I just also know that it's too soon after the last miscarriage... I can already feel little twinges that I'm sure are going to lead up to the loss.. It feels like my first pregnancy, so I really don't have much hope.. If it survives, I'll be shocked (and so VERY VERY happy!)
So I'm going to the doctor's tomorrow to get the blood test confirmed, and hopefully a prescription for progesterone.
The one good thing about losing this one, and I really mean the ONE good thing, is that they should finally run tests on me to see why I keep losing them...
Anyways, I really needed somewhere to vent... Thanks for listening ladies!
(for Michelle and Amanda, consider yourselves sworn to secrecy! We aren't even telling out parents until we're far enough along!)
Hugs to all!

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7 Comments on Ah Hell... Here We Go Again...


AtHomeMama - Tuesday, 28 Jul
Well honey...you're full term (37 weeks) with a healthy baby boy today...congrats!!! Can't wait to meet this little man! Come out whenever you want to Liam!

shlei - Tuesday, 23 Dec
Just wanted to give you some encouragement. I know where you are coming from. I have had a miscarriage, an ectopic pregnancy and a baby that did not survive preterm labor. It's never easy but stay as positive as possible. Easier said than done I realize. Congratulations and I wish you the best.

KeepinTheFaith - Monday, 15 Dec
I haven't been on in a while so I just saw this blog. OMG! I would be worried too...Good luck! I know it's hard to get your hopes up but try to keep positive thoughts.

~Wendy

AtHomeMama - Wednesday, 10 Dec
Best wishes this time around sweetie! I think the doctors will do more to help you out this time around. Getting on the progesterone could prove to be just what you need! Can't wait to meet this little one!

aprilmama - Tuesday, 9 Dec
Mindy! COngrats on the pregnancy. I am really happy even though I know you are freakin out. Your body is doing something right, and if you do miscarry, at least you will be able to get more answers, like you said. Not that you want to miscarry. Pause....Ok, I just prayed for you. Dont let it ruin your holiday, though Im sure you cant get it off your mind. Keep me updated.

katey25 - Tuesday, 9 Dec
I had similar feelings to you, i'd had 2 m/c and then found out I had PCOS and was going to have trouble conceiving, so when I did actually concieve I wouldn't allow myself to think that a good thing was going to happen to me - I suppose I was in denial until my 12 week scan as I had bleeding all the way through.

Anyways, my message to you is stay positive and I really hope things go your way xxxx

Amanda-is-Rebekahs-Mommy - Tuesday, 9 Dec
I REALLY hope it survives!!