| minkymoo78 | |
 | Age: 31 Country: UK Province/region: Lincolnshire City: Grimsby Partner: Steve Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: Not anymore Occupation: Management Secretary |
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52 Comments on Stressed Out
Mcbender3 - Saturday, 3 Oct
I am not added to your friend's list but have been chekcing your page out.I AM 100% ALL FOR BREASTFEEDING! BUTTT IT doesnt work out for everyone!I tried with my son, my first child as well, and he nursed for maybe a month, if that. He never latched on right!Wellmy daughter came around, 16 months old now, she is still breastfed.. i don't need to elaborate on that. but you get my idea?DON'T FEEL GUILTY!!! =]
RainbowRach - Tuesday, 29 Sep
oh babe, I know EXACTLY how you feel. There is really only one thing for it and that is to just keep going. I know it sounds like the most crap advice ever, but it honestly gets better I promise you. I went through EXACTLY the same thing. I am now exclusively breastfeeding but I was topping up with formula through the night, then cut it down to the 11pm(ish) feed. Now Emily goes 4 hours on breast milk. Hang in there if you can, but PLEASE do not beat yourself up if it doesnt work out. You are doing your best x x
trinity - Tuesday, 29 Sep
no matter whether you feed your baby formula or bm you are going to be exhausted. newborns are exhausting! i agree formula is much easier and do to food allergies had to feed my first 3 formula. with my 4th i am nursing her and it is still exhausiting but getting better and she is 3 mos. and once i got past 6 wk it has become so much easier. and i truely enjoy it. i do agree not to give much formula if you plan to bf long term at least not now as you really do need to build your milk supply and babys body needs to build to your milk. if you give formula your milk will take longer to fill him up .if that makes sense. being a new mom is very exhausting and sleep when baby sleeps is the key. unfortunately laundry and other house work gets behind. it won't last forever. don't feel guilty about it either laundry will be something that you do forever but time with your baby goes so fast and you don't want to regret not spending that time with them. i quite my job last year as it was too much to take care of 4 kids , husband and a house. and i still don't get much time to care for myself since esme was born. i know not everyone is able to cut their hours at work. but you do find ways to save money in other areas to make it work. and babies that young can't adapt to a routine yet. give it till 2-3mos to start a routine. baby will most likely start his own routine in a few weeks. hang in there soon you will just be talking about how exhausting the 6wks are. you are doing great just sleep as much as you can when baby does. i also bring baby to bed with me to get more sleep. if you go to drsears.com you can read what he says about co-sleeping they even think it helps reduce sids as mom helps baby to breath and they get on the same sleeping pattern which helps both of you.
nirvana - Monday, 28 Sep
DO WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU! HE IS YOUR BABY AND WHAT YOUR DOING IS EXACTLY WHAT I DID WITH ALL 4 OF MINE AND THEYRE ALL PERFECTLY HAPPY HEALTHY KIDS. THEY HAVE NO RIGHT TO COMMENT ON YOUR CHOICES,MY MIDWIFE/HEALTH VISITOR CERTAINLY WOULDNT HAVE EVER CRITICISED.
bunches - Monday, 28 Sep
oh hun, it is rough, but it does get better. Hang in there. It took annabella 3 weeks to get her day and night round the right way, she was up all night and slept during the day. The best thing I ever did, was read Gina Ford's 'Contented Baby book'. The basis of it is, keep them in 3 hour cycles... sleep for a couple of hours, wake them up, feed them, play with them... put them back to sleep. Annabella was a totally differnet baby within about 9 hours of starting this. The book is very structured. i did't follow it to the letter.. but took the general advice of it. It changed my life. The sleep deprivation of a little on, is akin to torture.. i really suffered from it all, esp as the tiredness for the whole family, meant my husband and dog, where snoring like frieght trains, when she did go to sleep!!! Just remember you are doing brilliantly and hang in there, week by week, they sleep longer and feed less, two weeks from now, he will already by so much less demanding than he is now. Hang inthere
autumn - Monday, 28 Sep
Defintiely do whatever you feel is right for your adorable little guy... breastfeeding is great, but so is bottlefeeding. My 1st, my son, never latched on... wanted nothing to do with breastfeeding, so I pumped exclusively for 3 weeks, then I dried up. He is now 2.5 years old, and is the smartest 2.5 year old that I know. Everyone around us is amazed, and he is very, very healthy also. My daughter just turned 9 months yesterday, and she loved nursing, and I nursed her for the first 3 weeks, then started bottle feeding. I wish I had given it more of a chance, as I know she is my last baby. She has done great bottlefeeding also, and is also very smart :) Good luck, and do whatever you feel is right!! You should be proud of everything that you have accomplished already, and Joshua knows that his Mommy has always done her best :)
JUDE 4 - Sunday, 27 Sep
This being my 5th baby and i didnt breast feed any of the others i wanted to try this time and Jensen couldnt latch on properly and by day 2 i wanted to put him on the bottle, they wouldnt let me out of hospital until he was feeding so i got hubby to bring up some formula and i decided i would try breastfeeding at home, it doesnt help that i have large breast and felt like i was smothering him so then a few days later i brought a breast pump and started expressing as i didnt want to give up but i wasnt getting enough milk to feed him so we kept up with formula which i give him at night. At his checkup i spoke to the doctor about it and she was happy with what i was doing. I have had trouble with bottle feeding as my boys are lactose intolerant and let me tell you how much harder it is to get them settled on 1 formula. What is most important is that you are comfortable with what your doing. I wouldnt suggest bathing him late at night as sometimes a tired baby still will not sleep, bath him when it suits you. You will get so much advice and people telling you what is best but you have to do what works for you. I would suggest getting a breast pump, it will help your milk supply and you can let hubby feed him breast milk. At almost 4weeks old im now getting alot more milk and im feeding him throughout the day and havent had to use the pump but im still giving him formula at night as it does make him sleep better. The most important thing is that Joshua is being fed do not feel guilty or let people make you feel bad, i learnt that a long time ago, breastfeeding is not as easy as it looks but there is so much more work involved with bottle feeding.
myangel - Sunday, 27 Sep
Honestly just switch him to formula! you have tried your best and THERE IS NOTHING AT ALL WRONG WITH FORMULA....My daughter was formula fed from the start as I personally Dont believe in breast feeding and she is ALOT MORE DEVELOPED AND ALOT SMARTER then ALOT OF THE CHILDREN around us that were breast fed..........I was formula fed and I ended up just fine as were trillions of other babies.....I personally HATE THE CONTROVERSAY OVER BREAST FEEDING....its ridiculous!!!!.......LIFE WILL BE ALOT EASIER TRUST ME!!!!!!
*lilygracesmummy* - Sunday, 27 Sep
Right honey first things first- u are doing amazing!!!!secondly you need to find your nearest children's centre and go to breast buddies there is one on every day in the grimsby area and i think u need a bit of support. if u want you can ring 0790 1503 992 which is the breast feeding peer supporters phone for grimsby or if u want to talk to me direct (I'm a peer supporter and student midwife) then send me a message and i'll send u my phone number privately. re formula the midwife is right and the reason why it is more difficult to breastfeed is cos the formula replaces the feed Joshua would be getting from you and therefore your body then thinks you need to make that milk anymore and your supply will drop. there are several things you can do- expressing and topping up with your milk is probably the one i would recommend. have you spoken to mandy the breastfeeding midwife for our area? if you want her number again msg me and i will send it privately. also Joshua will feed more on day 5, 10, 21 and 28 as he will have growth spurts on these days. you CAN do this i promise but no one can do it by themselves honey. give me a ring I promise I can help! love, Gemmaps. Lily has now been breastfed for 11 months, 2 weeks and 6 days!
tto - Sunday, 27 Sep
Would there be a problem if they didn't give any advice? I say follow your own instincts. Your body will get used to breastfeeding in the day and formula at night. There is nothing wrong with doing both. The best advice is doing what WORKS FOR YOU, STEVE AND JOSHUA- screw the experts. Seriously- follow your instincts and trust yourself. If he isn't starving- he's fine!! Also, I know how hard the journey was to get to this point, but don't expect it to be perfect just because you wanted it so bad. Being a mom is still going to be hard so don't be disappointed with life, motherhood, or yourself because you are facing a challenge. Parenting is hard no matter how much you wanted it- it doesn't make it easier. We had losses before our son, he turned out colicky plus other problems, and life was hard. I was expecting everything to be like a hallmark commercial and it wasn't. I felt like a bad mom because I was frustrated with this child I wanted for years and years and I wasn't the perfect mom I dreamed of. It's the hardest job that you'll ever love!
jen - Sunday, 27 Sep
Helen, a mommy knows what will be best for her baby, and if he was just fine breastfeeding with a bottle at night, then continue what you were doing! I breastfed and supplemented with formula after each feeding. I fed him about 20 minutes on each breast, then gave him one ounce of formula. I kept this up for 3 months, then when I went back to work, he was soon switched over to exclusively the bottle. You do what your mommy instincts tell you is right. You will figure it out and be wonderful at it!!
babylug - Sunday, 27 Sep
Congrats on your gorgeous little boy! Ive been following your story and was so excited when you became pregnant. I have some advice that I wish someone would have given me. Doctors arent always right when it comes to YOUR baby! Do what you feel is best as long as he is healthy and is gaining weight it doesnt matter if its breast or bottle. Or both. You know in your heart what is best for your health and sanity and that of your baby. I wish I wouldve known this. I knew my baby had reflux and was teething the "Doctor" kept telling me she was to young to be getting teeth and didnt have reflux, at 4 months her 2 bottom teeth poked through and I took her back and demanded they see her and she had reflux. Go with your gut!!! Hope your days get better and your nights do to. Congratulations on a beautiful baby boy!!
byrdi - Saturday, 26 Sep
Helen, you do what you need to do! When i had Connor, he wasn't really latching on at all, and being a new mom, i wasn't noticing this...needless to say he wasn't getting anything. we had a crd nurse (like your health visitors) come round to the house the day after we got home from the hospital and same thing, she said only breastfeed and give him a bit of water if you have to.........i just wanted to point out that from then on, i decided screw their advice, i'm doing what i think is right for my baby. it worked out better for me and him anyways. breastfeeding can be super hard, and while i'm really hoping to try it again, if it doesn't work, it doesn't and there is nothing wrong with formula. i was raised on it (as i was adopted) and my son was raised on it.....you decide what is right for you and your precious little one :)
mommabell - Saturday, 26 Sep
Poor girl, of course you are stressed out. You have far too many people coming over to your house monitering what you are doing with your baby. I would be stressed too, especially this being your first baby. You are the mommy and you know what is best for your son. I saw that people have already mentioned co sleeping with your little boy to make the nights a little easier. I did that with my babies, and it was a life saver! But DO NOT feel like you are doing something wrong if you use formula. I have had friends that had a hard time with their milk supply who were starving their babies because everyone made them feel like they HAD to breastfeed, only to be told by their ped. that they urgently needed to give the baby a bottle. It's going to be pretty hard for the first few months, but they grow soooo fast. You can do it, and we are all here for you!! xoxoxo
no2on the way - Saturday, 26 Sep
Hey Helen..I breastfed exclusivly for 6 months through the day and through the night..it is hard work but you can do it..I then at 6 months started to introduce baby food..and carried on breastfeeding him till he was 18 months old..you need to breastfeed them alot in the first few months to get your milk supply up..otherwise women find that supplimenting with Formula makes there milk dry up..it works on a supplie and demand..the more they demand..the more milk you will produce...Maybe try to pump some for a bottle for steve at night..to cope with him not sleeping in the night...when he naps in the day...you nap in the day too..just sleep when baby sleeps..and I think it's far far too earlie to introduce a routine for him...routines do not work with breastfeeding mums..(not for a while anyway)..expecially when they go through a growth spurt..they will nurse every 30-60 mins throughout the day while on a growth spurt or when your milk changes..(milk will change every couple of months to suit your growing baby)..What we used to do was keep him downstairs with us..until we went to bed..if he fell asleep on us that was great..and then all go to bed together..(at around 12am)..when he wakes we'd B feed him to sleep.(around 2am)..then he'd wake about 4am and we'd change his nappy and b feed him to sleep again..then at about 7am he'd wake for a feed..and then i'd keep him in my bed and co-slept till 10am.. in the day when he cryed just checked everything was good..(dry nappie no gas)..and then fed him.. when he napped...I napped..don't worrie about asking people for help...most of the time people love to help..(ask your mum to come by..maybe ask her to bring some healthy food for you to snack on..)..don't bother with hoovering or ironing..or even the pots...just let the house go to crap for a while..haha..ask someone to pop round to help with walking the dog..or maybe ask them to watch Josh while you take the dog on a walk..(just get away for a minute..)..you'll be fine hun...we've all been there and survived..I'm thinking I must be mental..I have a hyper 2yr old..a hyper lab puppy and now a baby on the way in 6 weeks or less...I won't get to nap through the day..arghh..lol..but I will survive...because you just will..lol..good luck..you'll be fine..and keep up the bf...x
discodivasara - Saturday, 26 Sep
Hiya Helen, I was the same as you in the beginning, I breastfeed through the night as well as through the day to keep my supply up and it is really hard work but you will get there in the end! I don't think I slept for weeks. I think because you introduced a bottle early on is a good thing, people say don't do it if your breastfeeding it confuses them but my friend she waited til her lo was about 8 weeks and tried her with a bottle and it took her 6 weeks to take it. I have learnt not to listen to health visitors, I got told loads of different things too - best to do is trial and error. I think you shouldnt feel guilty if you wanted to stop bf as u have already gave Joshua the best start to life. Keep up the good work and trust me it does get so much more easier x
thenorthcutts - Saturday, 26 Sep
Do NOT let anyone make you feel like you are doing bad or failing as a momy if you do have to resort to formula. I tried breastfeeding Carson for the first almost two weeks and I realized it wasn't for me. The sleep had some to do with it as well. I was so physically and mentally exhausted at the beginning. If you really want to breastfeed I pray that things get better and he will eventually give his mommy a break!! If you do have to go to formula just don't let people put you down for it!! As for advice we put Carson into a rountine as soon as we got home and he lives by it still to this day. We give him his bath between 8-9 and then he gets his last big bottle (2-3oz more than his regular) and he puts himself to sleep. It wasn't always that easy, I used to have to rock him to sleep and hold him for 30 minutes before I could lay him down. Trust me it WILL get better. Hang in there hunny!
wyattsmommy - Saturday, 26 Sep
I can't give you any advice on breastfeeding as I was never able to breastfeed my first born. But even w/ formula it took us a month before he was sleeping through the night. I was up w/ him every 2 hours doing feedings a lot of the times he would fall asleep after the feeding a lot of times he wouldn't and i'd have to stay up and rock him the first month was by far the hardest! I think its because there nights and days aren't figured out yet a lot of times he wouldn't be hungry and would be comforted by a pacy. After the first month I was able to do a feeding at about 10pm put him to bed and then around 3am he wouldn't wake up crying but I would go in and do a feeding and change him anyhow and he always went right back to bed until 8am after that. Don't feel guilty if you have to switch to formula my little guy was always on target for his weight and ahead in his developmental milestones and in his 2 years he's only been sick 1 time! At the end of the day nobody can tell you how to care for your baby. You have to get on a schedule of yoru own for us Wyatt was on a good schedule by 1 month he was able to basically sleep through the night my neighbors little boy was 3yrs old before he would sleep through the night! They are all different hang in there girl it will get better w/ my experience the first month was by far the hardest! Good Luck
J9 - Saturday, 26 Sep
Hey helen, maddy is 8 months now and i've exclusively breast fed her... i know it's very tough in the beginning.. the reason you are being advised against formula is because it takes about 6 weeks to fully establish your milk supply - it works on a supply and demand basis so if you are giving formula you will not make enough to sustain him and your milk will decrease. It is exhausting - i totally empathise. I remeber finding it hard to keep my eyes open during the night being awake every couple of hours. One thing i did, which i know isn't for everyone is breastfeed maddy whilst lying down at night. I made sure the bed was safe, pillows well out of her way and moved the duvet so she wouldn't get hot then i'd get comfy ang get her to latch on and we'd both fall asleep like that. at no point did i ever feel like i'd roll onto her or anything. i felt totally comfortable and it was a lovely experience - it wasn't the best rest of course but it did mean i got a lot more sleep than i would have done and it kept me going. Also remember that small babies wake frequently.. they are programmed to do this by nature to make sure they don't starve - so they naturally need to wake and feed a lot - whether on formula or not. This will pass.. trust me the 2 hour wakings will become 3 and then 4 hours.. 6 weeks is the magic number, life gets a lot more settled at 6 weeks.. hang in there helen, if you want to breast feed then put in the hard yards and now and it will pay off.. it's the most rewarding thing i did and it becomes so so easy once it's all established - but of course if formula is easier for you then do not feel guilty. as long as joshua is nourished and thriving that is all that matters. feel free to message me if you want more tips or anything about breastfeeding or anything else. Janine xxx
dannii - Saturday, 26 Sep
Hey you, breastfeeding can be hardwork i should no im still doin it and my baby is 11 months!! she doesnt sleep through the night and uses me as a dummy so i to get exhausted!!some people top up with formula some people only use formula at the end of the day it is your decision and your alone, from my exp though i would say...Breastfeed and only breastfeed for the 1st couple of weeks offer a dummy as a comforter so u wnt get used as a dummy like me lol, take your time and enjoy these first few weeks and secondly it is far to early to be putting joshua in a routine well i think so anyway theya re inside us for all those months they need to feel close to us do not feel guilty for holding and cuddaling as long as you want, these weeeks will be the hardest but he will settle down soon sod cleaning and what ppl think sleep when he does and feed when he wants enjoy and relax xxxx ur doin great x
anotherbunnyintheoven - Saturday, 26 Sep
I breast fed pumped and topped up with formula, midwifesand health visitors dont know your baby you do, you will do whats best for him naturaly!!!!! I have an appi mat sensor monitor it ment that when she slept i felt safe enuf to sleep myself the cost £100.00 from mothercare but worth their wait in gold, i still use it for Poppy shes 10 months and plan to buy one for my little bump. Dont stress too much do what you believe he needs and you wont go far wrong your the one with the special bond after all!!! xx
eileen88 - Friday, 25 Sep
Girl I found it way easier to pump. I mean youll end up with a ton of breast milk ( i pumped every 2 hours) He fed like every 3 to 4. I mean It is easier with formula tho I do have to admit.
lisamarie8503 - Friday, 25 Sep
Why dont you try pumping hun? Then your husband can still feed him in the night and it will help you build up a supply?
princessvjc - Friday, 25 Sep
only u no whats best for him xx
sarahann - Friday, 25 Sep
Ok... Firstly, you are doing a great job, go easy on yourself. Secondly, if you enjoy it keep breastfeeding for as long as you want to because it is far better for your health and your baby's health, and it will help build his immunity. If you choose to switch to formula it's also your choice and don't feel bad or defeated. Do what is right for you and Joshua. I don't want to make you feel worse, but the first 8 months were hell for me. Everyone kept telling me it will get better after 6 weeks, then I was told 3 months then I was told things would be better after 6 months, well I went through 8 months of NO sleep and no one helping me when I asked for it. My doctor kept fobbing me off and I became quite depressed. It was so hard, but I survived and eventually there was light at the end of the tunnel. No one really tells you how hard it is and it's made even harder when you get conflicting advice from the so called professionals. Over here in Australia they have something called 'sleep school' for babies and parents. I attended a daytime session and it really helped me, but they also have a 'live in' one where you and baby go and stay for about three days/nights and they teach you how best to settle your baby and they are there 24 hours a day for you. Maybe if things get too much for you, you could look into something similar over there. They helped me with a routine which suited my baby and it really worked.The main thing is, it's hard. There is nothing else like learning to care for your own newborn baby around the clock. Just try not to put too much pressure on yourself otherwise you will not enjoy the most important part of first time motherhood. I know how that feels.. Take care of yourself, ask your friends and family for help if you need it and make sure you just have time to cuddle Joshua and not worry about all this other stuff. In the end, all that matters is that you love him and you are there for him. Best wishes xxx
expecting-2b-patient - Friday, 25 Sep
I've learn that if you want to breast feed you have to feed around the clock for the first 4 weeks. Even if that means waking a sleeping baby. Feedings should be every 2-3hours. You need to get your breast in a demand for how much milk he needs. So if you aren't feeding through the night, you wont be making enough milk for him. You might want to invest in a dual pump and make sure your keeping a supply for him. Also, it might not be the feedings, I think he's way too young either way to be sleeping through the night. Loads of luck Mamma and at least you have people coming in to check on you and how you're doing and giving advice!
jensolucky - Friday, 25 Sep
I'm not on your friend list but I have peeked in on you from time to time.First congrats!I had a little boy almost 3 months ago. We named him Joshua too.I love the name!I read your post and I felt like I could have written that myself.Its all normal.I would look into buying a Baby Delight Supreme Snuggle Nest.It is a bed that you put in your bed between you and Steve and you wont be able to roll on Josh. You will feel him breathing and he will feel you there and smell you. It worked so well for us. It does make a queen size bed tight. But we both didnt mind being tight if it meant having Josh between us.Then when he gets alittle bigger you can place it in his bed and he will be comfortable knowing the bed already.It's not that expensive and you will sleep so much better. Or at least sleep some.As for the breastfeeding. Its hard and not for everyone.I am very active and love to go alot. I wanted our Josh to enjoy that part of our life.I couldnt breastfeed him and be a happy mommy.I was so tired and it really hurts.I am also one that doesnt eat enough to produce good milk supply. I know I wasnt eating right.I decided to change to formula.Formula is not bad for babies and your baby will be a healthly baby.The most important thing is for you to be comfortable, rested as much as possible, and a happy mommy.That is what Josh needs to grow and be a heathly baby boy.Breast Feeding is proven to be the best.But there are alot of positive things in formula feeding as well.I love the fact that my husband enjoys feeding our son when he is home. And with formula he gets to make the bottles and bond with the feedings.You need to do what is going to make you and your family happy. Adjusting to a baby is hard enough.You and Steve seem to be very outgoing people and little Josh is going to learn to fit right into your lives.My best advice given to me was dont worry about being so perfect with a new baby.Everyting will calm down and work out.Think really hard about how much you want to breasfeed. If its something you really want , then dont give up. If deep inside you are okay with formula dont feel guilty.You are the mommy and its your baby.You need to rest and sleep to be a good mommy during the day when Steve is working.Look into the snuggle nest. Its money well spent.I know you are going to be the best mom to that baby!
~babylove~ - Friday, 25 Sep
Don't give up! I added formula to wilth breast milk for Rayan as he was eating way too much as he was a big baby and I didn't have enough milk. I used to always feed him breastmilk first and then about an ounce or two of formula after my midwife said that was perfectly fine. He used to sleep 6-8 hours straight since the day he was born so I must have been doing something right. And now I'm still doing the same and he sleeps all night long without a peep. Maybe you should put him in bed with you that way he's next to u and you can quickly check on his breathing. I have had him sleep next to me since he was born so that I can always hear him breathing. Good luck hun and stay positive :) xx
derra1976 - Friday, 25 Sep
And one more thing, if you switch to formula...he will be fine. Mine is on formula because I had to stop breastfeeding at about 5 weeks because I had to have surgery and take some meds that weren't safe for the baby. And trust me, he is a VERY healthy boy. He weighs 26 pounds!!! There is nothing wrong with feeding a baby formula!!
derra1976 - Friday, 25 Sep
I'm so sorry it's been so rough on you, but it will get easier. If you really want to stick with breastfeeding you HAVE to invest in a good pump. Pumping helps keep your milk coming in and you can store it and put it in a bottle and feed him with the bottle at night before you put him to bed. And while I don't suggest you do this just yet, wait a few more weeks and try giving him just a little bit of cereal at night before you put him to bed to help him sleep. It has to be really runny at their digestive systems can't handle much right now. But pumping is really the best thing. You should get maybe a Madella or maybe another good brand. Make sure it is a double pump. They work awesome!!! And sleeping through the night will come eventually. But definitely try getting him into a routine now. Get him used to sleeping during the day with noise and light and then make sure his room is quiet and dark at night, so he knows the difference. Try to start stimulating him during the day to keep him awake more so he will sleep longer at night. I know you are exhausted right now and everything is probably so overwhelming right now, but hang in there sweetie, it gets easier. I remember after my first son was born I was so sleep deprived and then he had colic for a few weeks too. I thought I was going to lose my mind, LOL. I called my mom in tears and was like I don't know what to do he hates me because he won't stop crying!!! She came right over and let me take a nap and a bath and gave me some time to myself, which was wonderful!!! I hope it gets better for you soon!! I will be praying for you and your beautiful baby boy!
utopianite - Friday, 25 Sep
You seem to have gotten a lot of advice already! :-) My baby won't sleep for more than a few minutes at a time unless she's in bed with me. So it may not be that he's hungry at all. Maybe he just wakes up and is upset by not being with you.
stephbmw - Friday, 25 Sep
hi hun firstly i understand, i went through the exact same thing, i fed Danyal myself for 3 weeks then i fazed it out and put him just soley on the bottle and it's the best thing i ever did! no. 1 and most importantly he was more happy, settled and contented, and after taking to the bottle he slept all through the night from 4 weeks old and still does now its heaven! i was told formula fills them more and keeps them fuller for longer and i haven't looked back once, I have too been less stressed, less tied down as other people can help and i can get on with more wen i was feeding him he would be on the breast for at least an hour then woul want more 2-3 hrs after, it was lovely but hard if i had to get ellie from school and i was gonna be late i'd have to take him off and hope he would hold off until i could continue, everyone at the hospital was against the bottle saying if i caved he'd become lazy and not go back on the breast, total rubbish, i did both at 2 weeks old and he took to the breast great! and the midwife and health visitor was lovely over me doing abit of both which was great as i was feeling really guilty about giving in but i had to for us both, i used to look at him and cry my eyes out thinking im failing him but he needed me to be strong and to be honest he's been great and doesn't know the difference as he's belly's fuller and he's happy. my cousin is a neo-natal nurse and she and others told me he had the best from me from the colostrum in the first few days and those 3 weeks have given him the best start so i shouln't feel guilty at all! she actually said she almost was put under pressure to kinda push the moms into breastfeeding in her job, and those who had problems with it as all women don't have it easy felt useless and she tried to support them but couldn't understand until she had her own son in september last year and said i don't push it now as i know it's bloody hard work and hurts like hell for some people it doesn't suit everyone, So i think people mean well probabley with advise but you should go with the flow and take each day as it comes and you and Josh will learn together whats best as when steve goes back to work you like i did will find it soo hard, So personally i would suggest if you want to trying to give formula for 1 or 2 feeds in the day and when he sleeps while contented from that you catch an hour and feed or try to express once at night and bottle if need be the reason being the hormone is produced at night to build up your supply for the day and if you don't do one feed late at night it will fade out in the day or there won't be enough for him, ahh it's soo difficult and breastfed babies don't sleep as long as bottle fed ones i know that from my own experience and others! but i think you should try a few different things and if you get more sleep then continue to do what you did and you will have a routine thats works and you will feel so much better i promise, it does get better when they are more alert in the day as they will naturally sleep better at night, Also i wonder does he take a dummy? we didn't want danyal to have one at first but it helps him sleep so much better and it also cuts down the risk of s.i.d.s its just a thought, Anyway all the best you will find your way it is a learning curve and you will find something soon that works and all this will be done with all the best love steph xxx
Eloises-mummy! - Friday, 25 Sep
hey there is no real evidance that formula is less better, it just not so natural. but i know how you feel. I ended up giving up after a month because eloise would latch fine but only suck for 5 - 10mins at a time 3 times an hour. They encouraged me at the hospital to feed lying down in bed and if you fall asleep you fall asleep. Your body will tell you if your too close to him etc. It wasnt until months later that we stopped having eloise in our bed (so she slept better that way) They also got us to top up with formula at the hospital too. Then my midwife visit she was rude about it so i understand about the advice. Have you though about pumping. If you do i recommend an electric one. Manual works fine its just more time consuming etc when your breasfeeding then pumping. That way steve will still beable to feed little joshua at nights and you'll probably find he has a little more on the bottle. You just might have to pump once through the night to keep your milk going. Thats what ive decided to do this time round. Oh and i would advise getting the tommee tipee bottles there more shapped like your breast nipple so they dont get too confused with the dramatic change in shape. I found eloise started getting too used to the advent ones when we topped up so swapped and they were marvalous. Im not an expert but thats just my advice. I wish you the best of luck and i know its tuff but you will do it. I wish i had stuck for longer. :D Good luck helen. xx
honeymoon-baby - Friday, 25 Sep
Hey Helen, have you thought of joining breast buddies? it's a group in Grimsby, ask your health visitor and she'll put you in touch. I've never been myself so i don't have the contact details.I know this sounds strange but I know we live in the same town and i've been breastfeeding for 7 months now. If you want to meet up just for a bit of moral support from a fellow boob feeder let me know. I won't be offended if you think that's a little strange, but i'd feel like an arse if i didn't offer :)
luckywhite - Friday, 25 Sep
if you give a breastfeed at night you are morelikey to buildup a good supply somthing to do with the hormone levels being higer at night, doesnt sound like you are drinking enough fluid either. with that and the tension you are giving yourself a huge sore head. i introduced a bottle of formula at night thinking it would make baby sleep and i would get some rest but it gave him a sore tummy. deep breaths and yeah let steve do a feed.. just one tho and make sure you do one of the sleeps during the night. i know you get a million comments a day from people but i will add my MSN addy to your page privately i'm in the house all bloody day long! so if you ever need to go HELP and need a quick reply - ill bne there, i helped one of the canadian ladies bf her wee baby after being told to give it up by her health visitor (she was living near me at the time) and between us we sorted out her problems she just needed a bt more confidence and so do you xx
babyl - Friday, 25 Sep
I know you are so tired. Noone ever prepares you for that. I almost lost it during that phase. I rented a breast pump and it was a life saver. In the US, they gave me formula at the hospital to supplement with. Sometimes, breastmilk doesn't alway fill them up. Breastmilk is great for bonding and nutrition. I only did it for 4 weeks. It is hard but pumping would help.
jterrill08 - Friday, 25 Sep
Helen, my heart goes out to you. Stressing is just part of being a new mommy. You only do it because you want what is best for your baby. And who doesn't? Please don't think you are ever alone in this. My daughter is now over 6 months old. I couldn't breast feed because of surgery to keep me from getting breast cancer so she has been brought up strickly on formula. Though I wish I had been able to breast feed, and lord knows I tried because there was a 50/50 chance, I lost the battle. But, I wanted to assure you that though breast feeding is excellent, formula has come such a long way. My baby just had her doctors appointment and the doctor thought she was a perfect little healthy baby. She had a cold when she was 2 weeks old that she got from me, but it only lasted 2 weeks and has never had so much as a sniffle since. So, just understand that even if you go to formula, your baby will be just fine. Have strength and trust your instincts. Laya started sleeping for 10 hours a night at two months with the formula. So hang in there, hon. One day you will be able to look back at this and be so proud of yourself for getting through it all!!!
jojo - Friday, 25 Sep
Do you know what hun - he's yr baby so if you think he's more content with formula for night times then give it to him and get some rest. I had a stressful time breast feeding my last baby because he was so much hungrier . I was sooo stressed and tearfull all the time and its hard but like you wanted to give him the best start. Bathing Joshua at 12am sounds ridiculous, u wanna be tucked up in bed that time of night lol Yr his mammy u do whatever u feel is better for you & Joshua not what they bloody think. Sometimes I think their advise causes more stress than its worse. Theres nothing wrong with topping up on formula especially if it means you can happily continue to breast feed for majority of his feeds. I did and Kian is happy & healthy. Good luck hun xxxxxxxxxxxx
FirstTimeMommyR - Friday, 25 Sep
I'm not one of the ladies who will tell you to give up on breastfeeding and switch to formula. In the long run, breastfeeding is truly much easier because, even though it takes a while to get the hang of it, once you do get the hang of it, all you have to do is whip out the boob, and boom! Perfect food at the perfect temperature, anytime, anywhere! Plus, as you said, it is SOOOOO much better for your little guy. In fact, I still breastfeed, and my son is almost eleven months old. We had a rough start, too ~ he had a lot of trouble latching, so we had to use a nipple shield for months. People told me that it was no good to use a nipple shield, but goes to show ~ what did they know?! Now we still nurse, and he's been off the nipple shield for eight or nine months now! I would say to use as little formula as possible because the more he nurses, the more you make. I know it is so very exhausting ~ I've been there, too. My LO would get up every hour, on the hour, and nurse for thirty straight minutes, 'round the clock, for the first two months. Boy, was I TIRED! But I slept every single time he slept, so often that meant I was sleeping in half hour blocks all day and night long (since he never napped more than thirty minutes at a time for many months), and it was so worth it. Having said all that, you have to do what is right for you and Joshua. If breastfeeding just isn't working out, that's fine, too ~ many, many babies are formula fed, and they turn out great! As cliche and irritating as this advice may seem, hang in there. I swear, it does get easier, FAST! Before you know it, he'll be turning one :)
lilly10 - Friday, 25 Sep
Hi sweetYou are going to come accross a load of people all who have different advice but at the end of the day hun you need to do what you think is right.If you want to carry on giving Joshua formula in the night i dont think there is any problem whats so ever ..if it measn that you are able to get some sleep which in return will give you a great milk supply ready for the day ahead then do it.Maybe you could just breastfeed during the day and try to express when available which will help improve your supply aswell,i always used to express both breast at 10pm then my hubby would give jessica a bottle with my expressed milk so that i could get my head down for a while.As joshua grows up he will not need to be fed so much.Hang in there helen you are doing a fab jobxxx
clairek - Friday, 25 Sep
hun have u tired expressing? aybe this cud be a opition for night time instead of formla but to b honest forla at night is fine hun i know loads ppl that do it and have done it do wat u feel better with dont think u have failed cause u havent.. i try breastfeeding with y first and she wont take t it at all and i felt bad at first for not trying for longer but she now a healthy 6 year old so if u feel u cant do it any longer dont worry joshua will prefer a relax happy chilled out mummy. big hugs.xxx
Heidi Boo - Friday, 25 Sep
I can't believe they told you off for using formula! Some babies (inc mine) are just always hungry and no matter how much milk you can produce they always want more. When Harry was born he was rushed into Special Care which meant that I was unable to breastfeed him from the start... he was given formula by the hosp to get the calories into him quick. I really wanted to breastfeed but he found it very difficult to get the hang of it as he was so prem. I persevered and finally after 7 weeks of agony and stress he is finally doing it properly but he still has formula to top up at every feed. and we bottle feed him during the night to give my poor nipples a break! My point is - at no point have any of the midwives or health visitors said that's wrong! The main thing is that your little one is well fed and happy and healthy. It's your baby - you know what is best for both of you so don't let them get you down hun. Pumping is great - I did this constantly while Harry was in hosp and until he fed well off me and it appeased my conscience...maybe you could give that a go as the other Ladies have said. Don't worry - soon you will get used to the exhuastion! Hope you feel better soon hun. xxx
Jens3rd - Friday, 25 Sep
I am going to say bottle formula is the way to go!! Yes it is easier but more$$$. I tried to bf my 2 and wetto formula at 2 weeks let's face it that got the best colustrum. It is hard on the mum and they sleep better on the formula. I wish you the best go with formula
priddy-mama - Friday, 25 Sep
I really wanted to breast feed my daughter and since she was placed in the intensive care until for 5 days after she was born it was really hard for me. I felt guilty all the time and imbarrased that I was not able to breast feed. I was worried about what other people would think of me and wanted to make sure she was getting the best milk possible. I will say this though, the best thing for her though was me being able to be there for her and getting some rest. I was able to do this because my husband was able to give her a bottle as well. I ended up just keeping her on formula and she was just as happy as ever. Do whats best for you! If you need to give him some formula so you can sleep, then it will make you more relaxed and him also! Hang in there...Keep your chin up...and do what you feel is best for you! Everyone is different and nobody knows you or your body better than yourself! :)
proudmommyof3♥ - Friday, 25 Sep
Hey hun'... I too had struggles breastfeeding (all 3 of my kids). My milk supply was not very abundant lets just say, thus making it so they were never satisfied off only breastfeeding and I also had to supplement with formula... and boy did I have so much guilt as well, I had my heart set on breastfeeding ONLY, as you said it is the best for our little ones, but at the end of the day you have to do what is best and formula fed babies do just as well! I cried my eyes about the whole thing with each baby, it made me feel like I was depriving my kids of what nature intended to be their nourishment :( but as I said sweetie you have to do what is best regardless of what the books, nurses, and all say... trust your instincts and know that if you have to do formula and breastfeeding together it is just fine!!!! Oh goodness do I understand your thoughts and worries about Steve going back to work, I went through the same when My hubby goes back, he always takes the first week to week and a half off after their births and once that time was over I just get so emotional, he was just so great in taking care of me and helping with everything. I would cry as if he was leaving and I would never see him again even though he just had to go back to work! Trust that you will be fine and even if it gets difficult take it one day at a time, probably the best advice I was given!!! And cherish every minute of it, even the hard, scary, rough times, as they will pass so quickly & in a blink he will be a year old, then going to school... ~ sending hugs ~
sarahbrooke - Friday, 25 Sep
I am going through the same problem as you. Analeigh is a little over 2 weeks old now and I'm not producing enough milk for her so at night time I've been giving her a bottle everytime she wakes up. She still gets up about 3 times a night. I don't know what to do either. I hate the fact that I have to give her formula.. I'd much rather breastfeed all the time. I'm sorry you're going through a tough time. Hang in there, and things will get better. You can always try pumping.. I did, but I can only get an oz or less out everytime.. Which is not nearly enough to feed her.. She eats 2-3 oz at a time when she bottle feeds. Good luck, and if you find out any good advice, let me in on it too!
amynicole - Friday, 25 Sep
my son would never latch on for me to breast-feed. so i pumped all the time. it worked good bc i could feed him but also gave someone else the chance to feed him and me and hubby took turns sleeping and feeding at night.
silly*lily*mommy - Friday, 25 Sep
I agree with jambaby....my blues helped me make the final decision about breastfeeding. Giving Joshua the best start does not mean he has to be on the boob. You have the option to pump your breastmilk a couple times a night. I was able to successfully pump for 11 weeks before I went back to work and weaned Lily to make it easier for daycare. I know I gave her the best start as she went almost her first whole year without a cold, tummy sicks, ear infections, nothing!!! You are right by wanting the best for him, but you need to take care of yourself first, as your milk supply will suffer. You'll find that even pumping a bit between feeds or after Joshua has had enough also increases milk supply and allows dad to feed him out of a bottle your own breast milk from what you have been able to pump extra for the day. This was the only way my husband and I stayed sane during Lily's first few weeks. I know you feel like you will feel guilty, but if he's still getting that liquid gold, and you get to get a break from him nursing all the time, that helps you both in the end and creates a more content family. Don't think about what others will think if they see your baby with a bottle, you're the only one who has to know that he is really getting breast milk in that bottle. Society puts way too much emphasis on breastfeeding and less on other ways to get that breast milk out. It's the same from a bottle as it is from the breast....don't feel guilty if you change things up a bit.
jambaby - Friday, 25 Sep
Do you have a pump? Try to pump for steve in the night or even for you so you can see how much he is eating. The beginning is ALWAYs hard and tiring, it isn't just you we all go thru it, hang it there!
mamacas26 - Friday, 25 Sep
And a side note, your body only makes the amount of milk you nurse...so if you are supplementing with formula at night, your body will only make enough milk for the day...you might find that when you go back to breastfeeding him through the night your milk supply won't be as abundant. It takes a full 48 hours of increase nursing to get your supply back up...so don't give up! You can do it! I believe in you!
mamacas26 - Friday, 25 Sep
I'm a strong breastfeeding advocate. I would stop giving him formula. This is just what it's like. It will get easier, but he is in the first few weeks of life, and you are going to be tired, stressed out and emotional...and we all have to go through it. I'm not sure where he is sleeping, but I always kept my babies in bed with me, and when they'd wake up at night, I'd just lay on my side and nurse and then we'd go back to sleep...they have co-sleepers if you are scared to lay with him without one. But honestly, don't give up on the breastfeeding. It's so worth it, and Joshua deserves it...no matter how tired or stressed you are. I hope I don't sound calloused...I'm going on my third baby, and I know I have restless nights ahead of me and will breastfeed for the next year and a half after he/she is born..
haileys mommy - Friday, 25 Sep
Girl, I almost gave up because he was waking up so much at night.. I never got any sleep. I refused to do formula, because I wanted to stick with her having only breastmilk.So around 2 months old, I started pumping. Babies get lazy on the boob, and fall asleep sometimes whenever they aren't full.. resulting in them waking up soon to eat again. So I started pumping and pump about 5oz every time, and she would sleep a lot longer from my pumped milk rather than from the breast. So now all I do is pump, she sleeps longer resulting in us getting to sleep longer.If you don't want to pump during the day, maybe just try at night. You could always add about an oz of formula to it as well if you don't think you're producing enough just yet.
| 25-9-2009 - Stressed Out |  My mood while writing this blog:Tired |
Hi ladies
I'm having another tearful day today. I have a really bad headache and this breastfeeding is stressing me out big time. I need a bit of advice:-
Joshua is now 11 days old and I have been breastfeeding him since he was born but for about the last 4 or 5 days Steve has been giving him 2 or 3 bottles of formula through the night so that I can get some sleep and have a break.
Yesterday we had a midwife round and she told me off and said I shouldn't be using any formula and that I wasn't eating enough to build up a good enough milk supply and that I should breastfeed through the night as well as through the day. That's ok for her to say but I am totally exhausted and Joshua doesn't fall asleep just from breast milk in the night so how am I supposed to stay awake all night and still be able to look after him the next day?
She told us we should wait until 11pm or 12am to bath Joshua and try and wear him out in the bath, then breastfeed him and he should sleep until 4am. We tried that last night - that didn't happen! We ended up having to top him up with formula and he only slept for a couple of hours.
Then today we had a health visitor round and she told us we should bath Joshua at about 7pm and get him into a bed time routine, she also told me not to use formula but if we did have to use it we should use it in the day and just give him half an ounce before I breastfeed him. I am being given different advice from all different directions and I really don't know who's advice to take for the best.
I am absolutely exhausted, I keep having little panic attacks and crying all the time but I don't want to give up on the breastfeeding. I LOVE breastfeeding him, watching his little face and his cheeks sucking away makes me so happy and I know that I'm giving him the best start in life that I possibly can but if he won't sleep at night after breastfeeds what am I supposed to do as I won't have the energy to look after him? I have a horrendous headache all day long and when he cries it goes through my whole body. When I do get a bit of sleep I am forever waking up and making sure he is still breathing. I can't ever relax. I know it will get easier as time goes on but Steve is going back to work on Monday and I'm dreading it and worrying about how I'll cope.
People keep telling me just to go on to formula and that it's so much easier but I know I will just feel worse if I give up now, I will feel guilty as I know breast milk is so much better for him. He has a cold as well at the minute so I really want him to have my breast milk so he gets better sooner. Every time I look at him I feel guilty even though I'm doing everything I possibly can for him.
Any advice would be great from people who have sucessfully breastfed. Thank you ladies.
Love from a very tired mummy! xx
52 Comments on Stressed Out
Mcbender3 - Saturday, 3 Oct
I am not added to your friend's list but have been chekcing your page out.I AM 100% ALL FOR BREASTFEEDING! BUTTT IT doesnt work out for everyone!I tried with my son, my first child as well, and he nursed for maybe a month, if that. He never latched on right!Wellmy daughter came around, 16 months old now, she is still breastfed.. i don't need to elaborate on that. but you get my idea?DON'T FEEL GUILTY!!! =]
RainbowRach - Tuesday, 29 Sep
oh babe, I know EXACTLY how you feel. There is really only one thing for it and that is to just keep going. I know it sounds like the most crap advice ever, but it honestly gets better I promise you. I went through EXACTLY the same thing. I am now exclusively breastfeeding but I was topping up with formula through the night, then cut it down to the 11pm(ish) feed. Now Emily goes 4 hours on breast milk. Hang in there if you can, but PLEASE do not beat yourself up if it doesnt work out. You are doing your best x x
trinity - Tuesday, 29 Sep
no matter whether you feed your baby formula or bm you are going to be exhausted. newborns are exhausting! i agree formula is much easier and do to food allergies had to feed my first 3 formula. with my 4th i am nursing her and it is still exhausiting but getting better and she is 3 mos. and once i got past 6 wk it has become so much easier. and i truely enjoy it. i do agree not to give much formula if you plan to bf long term at least not now as you really do need to build your milk supply and babys body needs to build to your milk. if you give formula your milk will take longer to fill him up .if that makes sense. being a new mom is very exhausting and sleep when baby sleeps is the key. unfortunately laundry and other house work gets behind. it won't last forever. don't feel guilty about it either laundry will be something that you do forever but time with your baby goes so fast and you don't want to regret not spending that time with them. i quite my job last year as it was too much to take care of 4 kids , husband and a house. and i still don't get much time to care for myself since esme was born. i know not everyone is able to cut their hours at work. but you do find ways to save money in other areas to make it work. and babies that young can't adapt to a routine yet. give it till 2-3mos to start a routine. baby will most likely start his own routine in a few weeks. hang in there soon you will just be talking about how exhausting the 6wks are. you are doing great just sleep as much as you can when baby does. i also bring baby to bed with me to get more sleep. if you go to drsears.com you can read what he says about co-sleeping they even think it helps reduce sids as mom helps baby to breath and they get on the same sleeping pattern which helps both of you.
nirvana - Monday, 28 Sep
DO WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU! HE IS YOUR BABY AND WHAT YOUR DOING IS EXACTLY WHAT I DID WITH ALL 4 OF MINE AND THEYRE ALL PERFECTLY HAPPY HEALTHY KIDS. THEY HAVE NO RIGHT TO COMMENT ON YOUR CHOICES,MY MIDWIFE/HEALTH VISITOR CERTAINLY WOULDNT HAVE EVER CRITICISED.
bunches - Monday, 28 Sep
oh hun, it is rough, but it does get better. Hang in there. It took annabella 3 weeks to get her day and night round the right way, she was up all night and slept during the day. The best thing I ever did, was read Gina Ford's 'Contented Baby book'. The basis of it is, keep them in 3 hour cycles... sleep for a couple of hours, wake them up, feed them, play with them... put them back to sleep. Annabella was a totally differnet baby within about 9 hours of starting this. The book is very structured. i did't follow it to the letter.. but took the general advice of it. It changed my life. The sleep deprivation of a little on, is akin to torture.. i really suffered from it all, esp as the tiredness for the whole family, meant my husband and dog, where snoring like frieght trains, when she did go to sleep!!! Just remember you are doing brilliantly and hang in there, week by week, they sleep longer and feed less, two weeks from now, he will already by so much less demanding than he is now. Hang inthere
autumn - Monday, 28 Sep
Defintiely do whatever you feel is right for your adorable little guy... breastfeeding is great, but so is bottlefeeding. My 1st, my son, never latched on... wanted nothing to do with breastfeeding, so I pumped exclusively for 3 weeks, then I dried up. He is now 2.5 years old, and is the smartest 2.5 year old that I know. Everyone around us is amazed, and he is very, very healthy also. My daughter just turned 9 months yesterday, and she loved nursing, and I nursed her for the first 3 weeks, then started bottle feeding. I wish I had given it more of a chance, as I know she is my last baby. She has done great bottlefeeding also, and is also very smart :) Good luck, and do whatever you feel is right!! You should be proud of everything that you have accomplished already, and Joshua knows that his Mommy has always done her best :)
JUDE 4 - Sunday, 27 Sep
This being my 5th baby and i didnt breast feed any of the others i wanted to try this time and Jensen couldnt latch on properly and by day 2 i wanted to put him on the bottle, they wouldnt let me out of hospital until he was feeding so i got hubby to bring up some formula and i decided i would try breastfeeding at home, it doesnt help that i have large breast and felt like i was smothering him so then a few days later i brought a breast pump and started expressing as i didnt want to give up but i wasnt getting enough milk to feed him so we kept up with formula which i give him at night. At his checkup i spoke to the doctor about it and she was happy with what i was doing. I have had trouble with bottle feeding as my boys are lactose intolerant and let me tell you how much harder it is to get them settled on 1 formula. What is most important is that you are comfortable with what your doing. I wouldnt suggest bathing him late at night as sometimes a tired baby still will not sleep, bath him when it suits you. You will get so much advice and people telling you what is best but you have to do what works for you. I would suggest getting a breast pump, it will help your milk supply and you can let hubby feed him breast milk. At almost 4weeks old im now getting alot more milk and im feeding him throughout the day and havent had to use the pump but im still giving him formula at night as it does make him sleep better. The most important thing is that Joshua is being fed do not feel guilty or let people make you feel bad, i learnt that a long time ago, breastfeeding is not as easy as it looks but there is so much more work involved with bottle feeding.
myangel - Sunday, 27 Sep
Honestly just switch him to formula! you have tried your best and THERE IS NOTHING AT ALL WRONG WITH FORMULA....My daughter was formula fed from the start as I personally Dont believe in breast feeding and she is ALOT MORE DEVELOPED AND ALOT SMARTER then ALOT OF THE CHILDREN around us that were breast fed..........I was formula fed and I ended up just fine as were trillions of other babies.....I personally HATE THE CONTROVERSAY OVER BREAST FEEDING....its ridiculous!!!!.......LIFE WILL BE ALOT EASIER TRUST ME!!!!!!
*lilygracesmummy* - Sunday, 27 Sep
Right honey first things first- u are doing amazing!!!!secondly you need to find your nearest children's centre and go to breast buddies there is one on every day in the grimsby area and i think u need a bit of support. if u want you can ring 0790 1503 992 which is the breast feeding peer supporters phone for grimsby or if u want to talk to me direct (I'm a peer supporter and student midwife) then send me a message and i'll send u my phone number privately. re formula the midwife is right and the reason why it is more difficult to breastfeed is cos the formula replaces the feed Joshua would be getting from you and therefore your body then thinks you need to make that milk anymore and your supply will drop. there are several things you can do- expressing and topping up with your milk is probably the one i would recommend. have you spoken to mandy the breastfeeding midwife for our area? if you want her number again msg me and i will send it privately. also Joshua will feed more on day 5, 10, 21 and 28 as he will have growth spurts on these days. you CAN do this i promise but no one can do it by themselves honey. give me a ring I promise I can help! love, Gemmaps. Lily has now been breastfed for 11 months, 2 weeks and 6 days!
tto - Sunday, 27 Sep
Would there be a problem if they didn't give any advice? I say follow your own instincts. Your body will get used to breastfeeding in the day and formula at night. There is nothing wrong with doing both. The best advice is doing what WORKS FOR YOU, STEVE AND JOSHUA- screw the experts. Seriously- follow your instincts and trust yourself. If he isn't starving- he's fine!! Also, I know how hard the journey was to get to this point, but don't expect it to be perfect just because you wanted it so bad. Being a mom is still going to be hard so don't be disappointed with life, motherhood, or yourself because you are facing a challenge. Parenting is hard no matter how much you wanted it- it doesn't make it easier. We had losses before our son, he turned out colicky plus other problems, and life was hard. I was expecting everything to be like a hallmark commercial and it wasn't. I felt like a bad mom because I was frustrated with this child I wanted for years and years and I wasn't the perfect mom I dreamed of. It's the hardest job that you'll ever love!
jen - Sunday, 27 Sep
Helen, a mommy knows what will be best for her baby, and if he was just fine breastfeeding with a bottle at night, then continue what you were doing! I breastfed and supplemented with formula after each feeding. I fed him about 20 minutes on each breast, then gave him one ounce of formula. I kept this up for 3 months, then when I went back to work, he was soon switched over to exclusively the bottle. You do what your mommy instincts tell you is right. You will figure it out and be wonderful at it!!
babylug - Sunday, 27 Sep
Congrats on your gorgeous little boy! Ive been following your story and was so excited when you became pregnant. I have some advice that I wish someone would have given me. Doctors arent always right when it comes to YOUR baby! Do what you feel is best as long as he is healthy and is gaining weight it doesnt matter if its breast or bottle. Or both. You know in your heart what is best for your health and sanity and that of your baby. I wish I wouldve known this. I knew my baby had reflux and was teething the "Doctor" kept telling me she was to young to be getting teeth and didnt have reflux, at 4 months her 2 bottom teeth poked through and I took her back and demanded they see her and she had reflux. Go with your gut!!! Hope your days get better and your nights do to. Congratulations on a beautiful baby boy!!
byrdi - Saturday, 26 Sep
Helen, you do what you need to do! When i had Connor, he wasn't really latching on at all, and being a new mom, i wasn't noticing this...needless to say he wasn't getting anything. we had a crd nurse (like your health visitors) come round to the house the day after we got home from the hospital and same thing, she said only breastfeed and give him a bit of water if you have to.........i just wanted to point out that from then on, i decided screw their advice, i'm doing what i think is right for my baby. it worked out better for me and him anyways. breastfeeding can be super hard, and while i'm really hoping to try it again, if it doesn't work, it doesn't and there is nothing wrong with formula. i was raised on it (as i was adopted) and my son was raised on it.....you decide what is right for you and your precious little one :)
mommabell - Saturday, 26 Sep
Poor girl, of course you are stressed out. You have far too many people coming over to your house monitering what you are doing with your baby. I would be stressed too, especially this being your first baby. You are the mommy and you know what is best for your son. I saw that people have already mentioned co sleeping with your little boy to make the nights a little easier. I did that with my babies, and it was a life saver! But DO NOT feel like you are doing something wrong if you use formula. I have had friends that had a hard time with their milk supply who were starving their babies because everyone made them feel like they HAD to breastfeed, only to be told by their ped. that they urgently needed to give the baby a bottle. It's going to be pretty hard for the first few months, but they grow soooo fast. You can do it, and we are all here for you!! xoxoxo
no2on the way - Saturday, 26 Sep
Hey Helen..I breastfed exclusivly for 6 months through the day and through the night..it is hard work but you can do it..I then at 6 months started to introduce baby food..and carried on breastfeeding him till he was 18 months old..you need to breastfeed them alot in the first few months to get your milk supply up..otherwise women find that supplimenting with Formula makes there milk dry up..it works on a supplie and demand..the more they demand..the more milk you will produce...Maybe try to pump some for a bottle for steve at night..to cope with him not sleeping in the night...when he naps in the day...you nap in the day too..just sleep when baby sleeps..and I think it's far far too earlie to introduce a routine for him...routines do not work with breastfeeding mums..(not for a while anyway)..expecially when they go through a growth spurt..they will nurse every 30-60 mins throughout the day while on a growth spurt or when your milk changes..(milk will change every couple of months to suit your growing baby)..What we used to do was keep him downstairs with us..until we went to bed..if he fell asleep on us that was great..and then all go to bed together..(at around 12am)..when he wakes we'd B feed him to sleep.(around 2am)..then he'd wake about 4am and we'd change his nappy and b feed him to sleep again..then at about 7am he'd wake for a feed..and then i'd keep him in my bed and co-slept till 10am.. in the day when he cryed just checked everything was good..(dry nappie no gas)..and then fed him.. when he napped...I napped..don't worrie about asking people for help...most of the time people love to help..(ask your mum to come by..maybe ask her to bring some healthy food for you to snack on..)..don't bother with hoovering or ironing..or even the pots...just let the house go to crap for a while..haha..ask someone to pop round to help with walking the dog..or maybe ask them to watch Josh while you take the dog on a walk..(just get away for a minute..)..you'll be fine hun...we've all been there and survived..I'm thinking I must be mental..I have a hyper 2yr old..a hyper lab puppy and now a baby on the way in 6 weeks or less...I won't get to nap through the day..arghh..lol..but I will survive...because you just will..lol..good luck..you'll be fine..and keep up the bf...x
discodivasara - Saturday, 26 Sep
Hiya Helen, I was the same as you in the beginning, I breastfeed through the night as well as through the day to keep my supply up and it is really hard work but you will get there in the end! I don't think I slept for weeks. I think because you introduced a bottle early on is a good thing, people say don't do it if your breastfeeding it confuses them but my friend she waited til her lo was about 8 weeks and tried her with a bottle and it took her 6 weeks to take it. I have learnt not to listen to health visitors, I got told loads of different things too - best to do is trial and error. I think you shouldnt feel guilty if you wanted to stop bf as u have already gave Joshua the best start to life. Keep up the good work and trust me it does get so much more easier x
thenorthcutts - Saturday, 26 Sep
Do NOT let anyone make you feel like you are doing bad or failing as a momy if you do have to resort to formula. I tried breastfeeding Carson for the first almost two weeks and I realized it wasn't for me. The sleep had some to do with it as well. I was so physically and mentally exhausted at the beginning. If you really want to breastfeed I pray that things get better and he will eventually give his mommy a break!! If you do have to go to formula just don't let people put you down for it!! As for advice we put Carson into a rountine as soon as we got home and he lives by it still to this day. We give him his bath between 8-9 and then he gets his last big bottle (2-3oz more than his regular) and he puts himself to sleep. It wasn't always that easy, I used to have to rock him to sleep and hold him for 30 minutes before I could lay him down. Trust me it WILL get better. Hang in there hunny!
wyattsmommy - Saturday, 26 Sep
I can't give you any advice on breastfeeding as I was never able to breastfeed my first born. But even w/ formula it took us a month before he was sleeping through the night. I was up w/ him every 2 hours doing feedings a lot of the times he would fall asleep after the feeding a lot of times he wouldn't and i'd have to stay up and rock him the first month was by far the hardest! I think its because there nights and days aren't figured out yet a lot of times he wouldn't be hungry and would be comforted by a pacy. After the first month I was able to do a feeding at about 10pm put him to bed and then around 3am he wouldn't wake up crying but I would go in and do a feeding and change him anyhow and he always went right back to bed until 8am after that. Don't feel guilty if you have to switch to formula my little guy was always on target for his weight and ahead in his developmental milestones and in his 2 years he's only been sick 1 time! At the end of the day nobody can tell you how to care for your baby. You have to get on a schedule of yoru own for us Wyatt was on a good schedule by 1 month he was able to basically sleep through the night my neighbors little boy was 3yrs old before he would sleep through the night! They are all different hang in there girl it will get better w/ my experience the first month was by far the hardest! Good Luck
J9 - Saturday, 26 Sep
Hey helen, maddy is 8 months now and i've exclusively breast fed her... i know it's very tough in the beginning.. the reason you are being advised against formula is because it takes about 6 weeks to fully establish your milk supply - it works on a supply and demand basis so if you are giving formula you will not make enough to sustain him and your milk will decrease. It is exhausting - i totally empathise. I remeber finding it hard to keep my eyes open during the night being awake every couple of hours. One thing i did, which i know isn't for everyone is breastfeed maddy whilst lying down at night. I made sure the bed was safe, pillows well out of her way and moved the duvet so she wouldn't get hot then i'd get comfy ang get her to latch on and we'd both fall asleep like that. at no point did i ever feel like i'd roll onto her or anything. i felt totally comfortable and it was a lovely experience - it wasn't the best rest of course but it did mean i got a lot more sleep than i would have done and it kept me going. Also remember that small babies wake frequently.. they are programmed to do this by nature to make sure they don't starve - so they naturally need to wake and feed a lot - whether on formula or not. This will pass.. trust me the 2 hour wakings will become 3 and then 4 hours.. 6 weeks is the magic number, life gets a lot more settled at 6 weeks.. hang in there helen, if you want to breast feed then put in the hard yards and now and it will pay off.. it's the most rewarding thing i did and it becomes so so easy once it's all established - but of course if formula is easier for you then do not feel guilty. as long as joshua is nourished and thriving that is all that matters. feel free to message me if you want more tips or anything about breastfeeding or anything else. Janine xxx
dannii - Saturday, 26 Sep
Hey you, breastfeeding can be hardwork i should no im still doin it and my baby is 11 months!! she doesnt sleep through the night and uses me as a dummy so i to get exhausted!!some people top up with formula some people only use formula at the end of the day it is your decision and your alone, from my exp though i would say...Breastfeed and only breastfeed for the 1st couple of weeks offer a dummy as a comforter so u wnt get used as a dummy like me lol, take your time and enjoy these first few weeks and secondly it is far to early to be putting joshua in a routine well i think so anyway theya re inside us for all those months they need to feel close to us do not feel guilty for holding and cuddaling as long as you want, these weeeks will be the hardest but he will settle down soon sod cleaning and what ppl think sleep when he does and feed when he wants enjoy and relax xxxx ur doin great x
anotherbunnyintheoven - Saturday, 26 Sep
I breast fed pumped and topped up with formula, midwifesand health visitors dont know your baby you do, you will do whats best for him naturaly!!!!! I have an appi mat sensor monitor it ment that when she slept i felt safe enuf to sleep myself the cost £100.00 from mothercare but worth their wait in gold, i still use it for Poppy shes 10 months and plan to buy one for my little bump. Dont stress too much do what you believe he needs and you wont go far wrong your the one with the special bond after all!!! xx
eileen88 - Friday, 25 Sep
Girl I found it way easier to pump. I mean youll end up with a ton of breast milk ( i pumped every 2 hours) He fed like every 3 to 4. I mean It is easier with formula tho I do have to admit.
lisamarie8503 - Friday, 25 Sep
Why dont you try pumping hun? Then your husband can still feed him in the night and it will help you build up a supply?
princessvjc - Friday, 25 Sep
only u no whats best for him xx
sarahann - Friday, 25 Sep
Ok... Firstly, you are doing a great job, go easy on yourself. Secondly, if you enjoy it keep breastfeeding for as long as you want to because it is far better for your health and your baby's health, and it will help build his immunity. If you choose to switch to formula it's also your choice and don't feel bad or defeated. Do what is right for you and Joshua. I don't want to make you feel worse, but the first 8 months were hell for me. Everyone kept telling me it will get better after 6 weeks, then I was told 3 months then I was told things would be better after 6 months, well I went through 8 months of NO sleep and no one helping me when I asked for it. My doctor kept fobbing me off and I became quite depressed. It was so hard, but I survived and eventually there was light at the end of the tunnel. No one really tells you how hard it is and it's made even harder when you get conflicting advice from the so called professionals. Over here in Australia they have something called 'sleep school' for babies and parents. I attended a daytime session and it really helped me, but they also have a 'live in' one where you and baby go and stay for about three days/nights and they teach you how best to settle your baby and they are there 24 hours a day for you. Maybe if things get too much for you, you could look into something similar over there. They helped me with a routine which suited my baby and it really worked.The main thing is, it's hard. There is nothing else like learning to care for your own newborn baby around the clock. Just try not to put too much pressure on yourself otherwise you will not enjoy the most important part of first time motherhood. I know how that feels.. Take care of yourself, ask your friends and family for help if you need it and make sure you just have time to cuddle Joshua and not worry about all this other stuff. In the end, all that matters is that you love him and you are there for him. Best wishes xxx
expecting-2b-patient - Friday, 25 Sep
I've learn that if you want to breast feed you have to feed around the clock for the first 4 weeks. Even if that means waking a sleeping baby. Feedings should be every 2-3hours. You need to get your breast in a demand for how much milk he needs. So if you aren't feeding through the night, you wont be making enough milk for him. You might want to invest in a dual pump and make sure your keeping a supply for him. Also, it might not be the feedings, I think he's way too young either way to be sleeping through the night. Loads of luck Mamma and at least you have people coming in to check on you and how you're doing and giving advice!
jensolucky - Friday, 25 Sep
I'm not on your friend list but I have peeked in on you from time to time.First congrats!I had a little boy almost 3 months ago. We named him Joshua too.I love the name!I read your post and I felt like I could have written that myself.Its all normal.I would look into buying a Baby Delight Supreme Snuggle Nest.It is a bed that you put in your bed between you and Steve and you wont be able to roll on Josh. You will feel him breathing and he will feel you there and smell you. It worked so well for us. It does make a queen size bed tight. But we both didnt mind being tight if it meant having Josh between us.Then when he gets alittle bigger you can place it in his bed and he will be comfortable knowing the bed already.It's not that expensive and you will sleep so much better. Or at least sleep some.As for the breastfeeding. Its hard and not for everyone.I am very active and love to go alot. I wanted our Josh to enjoy that part of our life.I couldnt breastfeed him and be a happy mommy.I was so tired and it really hurts.I am also one that doesnt eat enough to produce good milk supply. I know I wasnt eating right.I decided to change to formula.Formula is not bad for babies and your baby will be a healthly baby.The most important thing is for you to be comfortable, rested as much as possible, and a happy mommy.That is what Josh needs to grow and be a heathly baby boy.Breast Feeding is proven to be the best.But there are alot of positive things in formula feeding as well.I love the fact that my husband enjoys feeding our son when he is home. And with formula he gets to make the bottles and bond with the feedings.You need to do what is going to make you and your family happy. Adjusting to a baby is hard enough.You and Steve seem to be very outgoing people and little Josh is going to learn to fit right into your lives.My best advice given to me was dont worry about being so perfect with a new baby.Everyting will calm down and work out.Think really hard about how much you want to breasfeed. If its something you really want , then dont give up. If deep inside you are okay with formula dont feel guilty.You are the mommy and its your baby.You need to rest and sleep to be a good mommy during the day when Steve is working.Look into the snuggle nest. Its money well spent.I know you are going to be the best mom to that baby!
~babylove~ - Friday, 25 Sep
Don't give up! I added formula to wilth breast milk for Rayan as he was eating way too much as he was a big baby and I didn't have enough milk. I used to always feed him breastmilk first and then about an ounce or two of formula after my midwife said that was perfectly fine. He used to sleep 6-8 hours straight since the day he was born so I must have been doing something right. And now I'm still doing the same and he sleeps all night long without a peep. Maybe you should put him in bed with you that way he's next to u and you can quickly check on his breathing. I have had him sleep next to me since he was born so that I can always hear him breathing. Good luck hun and stay positive :) xx
derra1976 - Friday, 25 Sep
And one more thing, if you switch to formula...he will be fine. Mine is on formula because I had to stop breastfeeding at about 5 weeks because I had to have surgery and take some meds that weren't safe for the baby. And trust me, he is a VERY healthy boy. He weighs 26 pounds!!! There is nothing wrong with feeding a baby formula!!
derra1976 - Friday, 25 Sep
I'm so sorry it's been so rough on you, but it will get easier. If you really want to stick with breastfeeding you HAVE to invest in a good pump. Pumping helps keep your milk coming in and you can store it and put it in a bottle and feed him with the bottle at night before you put him to bed. And while I don't suggest you do this just yet, wait a few more weeks and try giving him just a little bit of cereal at night before you put him to bed to help him sleep. It has to be really runny at their digestive systems can't handle much right now. But pumping is really the best thing. You should get maybe a Madella or maybe another good brand. Make sure it is a double pump. They work awesome!!! And sleeping through the night will come eventually. But definitely try getting him into a routine now. Get him used to sleeping during the day with noise and light and then make sure his room is quiet and dark at night, so he knows the difference. Try to start stimulating him during the day to keep him awake more so he will sleep longer at night. I know you are exhausted right now and everything is probably so overwhelming right now, but hang in there sweetie, it gets easier. I remember after my first son was born I was so sleep deprived and then he had colic for a few weeks too. I thought I was going to lose my mind, LOL. I called my mom in tears and was like I don't know what to do he hates me because he won't stop crying!!! She came right over and let me take a nap and a bath and gave me some time to myself, which was wonderful!!! I hope it gets better for you soon!! I will be praying for you and your beautiful baby boy!
utopianite - Friday, 25 Sep
You seem to have gotten a lot of advice already! :-) My baby won't sleep for more than a few minutes at a time unless she's in bed with me. So it may not be that he's hungry at all. Maybe he just wakes up and is upset by not being with you.
stephbmw - Friday, 25 Sep
hi hun firstly i understand, i went through the exact same thing, i fed Danyal myself for 3 weeks then i fazed it out and put him just soley on the bottle and it's the best thing i ever did! no. 1 and most importantly he was more happy, settled and contented, and after taking to the bottle he slept all through the night from 4 weeks old and still does now its heaven! i was told formula fills them more and keeps them fuller for longer and i haven't looked back once, I have too been less stressed, less tied down as other people can help and i can get on with more wen i was feeding him he would be on the breast for at least an hour then woul want more 2-3 hrs after, it was lovely but hard if i had to get ellie from school and i was gonna be late i'd have to take him off and hope he would hold off until i could continue, everyone at the hospital was against the bottle saying if i caved he'd become lazy and not go back on the breast, total rubbish, i did both at 2 weeks old and he took to the breast great! and the midwife and health visitor was lovely over me doing abit of both which was great as i was feeling really guilty about giving in but i had to for us both, i used to look at him and cry my eyes out thinking im failing him but he needed me to be strong and to be honest he's been great and doesn't know the difference as he's belly's fuller and he's happy. my cousin is a neo-natal nurse and she and others told me he had the best from me from the colostrum in the first few days and those 3 weeks have given him the best start so i shouln't feel guilty at all! she actually said she almost was put under pressure to kinda push the moms into breastfeeding in her job, and those who had problems with it as all women don't have it easy felt useless and she tried to support them but couldn't understand until she had her own son in september last year and said i don't push it now as i know it's bloody hard work and hurts like hell for some people it doesn't suit everyone, So i think people mean well probabley with advise but you should go with the flow and take each day as it comes and you and Josh will learn together whats best as when steve goes back to work you like i did will find it soo hard, So personally i would suggest if you want to trying to give formula for 1 or 2 feeds in the day and when he sleeps while contented from that you catch an hour and feed or try to express once at night and bottle if need be the reason being the hormone is produced at night to build up your supply for the day and if you don't do one feed late at night it will fade out in the day or there won't be enough for him, ahh it's soo difficult and breastfed babies don't sleep as long as bottle fed ones i know that from my own experience and others! but i think you should try a few different things and if you get more sleep then continue to do what you did and you will have a routine thats works and you will feel so much better i promise, it does get better when they are more alert in the day as they will naturally sleep better at night, Also i wonder does he take a dummy? we didn't want danyal to have one at first but it helps him sleep so much better and it also cuts down the risk of s.i.d.s its just a thought, Anyway all the best you will find your way it is a learning curve and you will find something soon that works and all this will be done with all the best love steph xxx
Eloises-mummy! - Friday, 25 Sep
hey there is no real evidance that formula is less better, it just not so natural. but i know how you feel. I ended up giving up after a month because eloise would latch fine but only suck for 5 - 10mins at a time 3 times an hour. They encouraged me at the hospital to feed lying down in bed and if you fall asleep you fall asleep. Your body will tell you if your too close to him etc. It wasnt until months later that we stopped having eloise in our bed (so she slept better that way) They also got us to top up with formula at the hospital too. Then my midwife visit she was rude about it so i understand about the advice. Have you though about pumping. If you do i recommend an electric one. Manual works fine its just more time consuming etc when your breasfeeding then pumping. That way steve will still beable to feed little joshua at nights and you'll probably find he has a little more on the bottle. You just might have to pump once through the night to keep your milk going. Thats what ive decided to do this time round. Oh and i would advise getting the tommee tipee bottles there more shapped like your breast nipple so they dont get too confused with the dramatic change in shape. I found eloise started getting too used to the advent ones when we topped up so swapped and they were marvalous. Im not an expert but thats just my advice. I wish you the best of luck and i know its tuff but you will do it. I wish i had stuck for longer. :D Good luck helen. xx
honeymoon-baby - Friday, 25 Sep
Hey Helen, have you thought of joining breast buddies? it's a group in Grimsby, ask your health visitor and she'll put you in touch. I've never been myself so i don't have the contact details.I know this sounds strange but I know we live in the same town and i've been breastfeeding for 7 months now. If you want to meet up just for a bit of moral support from a fellow boob feeder let me know. I won't be offended if you think that's a little strange, but i'd feel like an arse if i didn't offer :)
luckywhite - Friday, 25 Sep
if you give a breastfeed at night you are morelikey to buildup a good supply somthing to do with the hormone levels being higer at night, doesnt sound like you are drinking enough fluid either. with that and the tension you are giving yourself a huge sore head. i introduced a bottle of formula at night thinking it would make baby sleep and i would get some rest but it gave him a sore tummy. deep breaths and yeah let steve do a feed.. just one tho and make sure you do one of the sleeps during the night. i know you get a million comments a day from people but i will add my MSN addy to your page privately i'm in the house all bloody day long! so if you ever need to go HELP and need a quick reply - ill bne there, i helped one of the canadian ladies bf her wee baby after being told to give it up by her health visitor (she was living near me at the time) and between us we sorted out her problems she just needed a bt more confidence and so do you xx
babyl - Friday, 25 Sep
I know you are so tired. Noone ever prepares you for that. I almost lost it during that phase. I rented a breast pump and it was a life saver. In the US, they gave me formula at the hospital to supplement with. Sometimes, breastmilk doesn't alway fill them up. Breastmilk is great for bonding and nutrition. I only did it for 4 weeks. It is hard but pumping would help.
jterrill08 - Friday, 25 Sep
Helen, my heart goes out to you. Stressing is just part of being a new mommy. You only do it because you want what is best for your baby. And who doesn't? Please don't think you are ever alone in this. My daughter is now over 6 months old. I couldn't breast feed because of surgery to keep me from getting breast cancer so she has been brought up strickly on formula. Though I wish I had been able to breast feed, and lord knows I tried because there was a 50/50 chance, I lost the battle. But, I wanted to assure you that though breast feeding is excellent, formula has come such a long way. My baby just had her doctors appointment and the doctor thought she was a perfect little healthy baby. She had a cold when she was 2 weeks old that she got from me, but it only lasted 2 weeks and has never had so much as a sniffle since. So, just understand that even if you go to formula, your baby will be just fine. Have strength and trust your instincts. Laya started sleeping for 10 hours a night at two months with the formula. So hang in there, hon. One day you will be able to look back at this and be so proud of yourself for getting through it all!!!
jojo - Friday, 25 Sep
Do you know what hun - he's yr baby so if you think he's more content with formula for night times then give it to him and get some rest. I had a stressful time breast feeding my last baby because he was so much hungrier . I was sooo stressed and tearfull all the time and its hard but like you wanted to give him the best start. Bathing Joshua at 12am sounds ridiculous, u wanna be tucked up in bed that time of night lol Yr his mammy u do whatever u feel is better for you & Joshua not what they bloody think. Sometimes I think their advise causes more stress than its worse. Theres nothing wrong with topping up on formula especially if it means you can happily continue to breast feed for majority of his feeds. I did and Kian is happy & healthy. Good luck hun xxxxxxxxxxxx
FirstTimeMommyR - Friday, 25 Sep
I'm not one of the ladies who will tell you to give up on breastfeeding and switch to formula. In the long run, breastfeeding is truly much easier because, even though it takes a while to get the hang of it, once you do get the hang of it, all you have to do is whip out the boob, and boom! Perfect food at the perfect temperature, anytime, anywhere! Plus, as you said, it is SOOOOO much better for your little guy. In fact, I still breastfeed, and my son is almost eleven months old. We had a rough start, too ~ he had a lot of trouble latching, so we had to use a nipple shield for months. People told me that it was no good to use a nipple shield, but goes to show ~ what did they know?! Now we still nurse, and he's been off the nipple shield for eight or nine months now! I would say to use as little formula as possible because the more he nurses, the more you make. I know it is so very exhausting ~ I've been there, too. My LO would get up every hour, on the hour, and nurse for thirty straight minutes, 'round the clock, for the first two months. Boy, was I TIRED! But I slept every single time he slept, so often that meant I was sleeping in half hour blocks all day and night long (since he never napped more than thirty minutes at a time for many months), and it was so worth it. Having said all that, you have to do what is right for you and Joshua. If breastfeeding just isn't working out, that's fine, too ~ many, many babies are formula fed, and they turn out great! As cliche and irritating as this advice may seem, hang in there. I swear, it does get easier, FAST! Before you know it, he'll be turning one :)
lilly10 - Friday, 25 Sep
Hi sweetYou are going to come accross a load of people all who have different advice but at the end of the day hun you need to do what you think is right.If you want to carry on giving Joshua formula in the night i dont think there is any problem whats so ever ..if it measn that you are able to get some sleep which in return will give you a great milk supply ready for the day ahead then do it.Maybe you could just breastfeed during the day and try to express when available which will help improve your supply aswell,i always used to express both breast at 10pm then my hubby would give jessica a bottle with my expressed milk so that i could get my head down for a while.As joshua grows up he will not need to be fed so much.Hang in there helen you are doing a fab jobxxx
clairek - Friday, 25 Sep
hun have u tired expressing? aybe this cud be a opition for night time instead of formla but to b honest forla at night is fine hun i know loads ppl that do it and have done it do wat u feel better with dont think u have failed cause u havent.. i try breastfeeding with y first and she wont take t it at all and i felt bad at first for not trying for longer but she now a healthy 6 year old so if u feel u cant do it any longer dont worry joshua will prefer a relax happy chilled out mummy. big hugs.xxx
Heidi Boo - Friday, 25 Sep
I can't believe they told you off for using formula! Some babies (inc mine) are just always hungry and no matter how much milk you can produce they always want more. When Harry was born he was rushed into Special Care which meant that I was unable to breastfeed him from the start... he was given formula by the hosp to get the calories into him quick. I really wanted to breastfeed but he found it very difficult to get the hang of it as he was so prem. I persevered and finally after 7 weeks of agony and stress he is finally doing it properly but he still has formula to top up at every feed. and we bottle feed him during the night to give my poor nipples a break! My point is - at no point have any of the midwives or health visitors said that's wrong! The main thing is that your little one is well fed and happy and healthy. It's your baby - you know what is best for both of you so don't let them get you down hun. Pumping is great - I did this constantly while Harry was in hosp and until he fed well off me and it appeased my conscience...maybe you could give that a go as the other Ladies have said. Don't worry - soon you will get used to the exhuastion! Hope you feel better soon hun. xxx
Jens3rd - Friday, 25 Sep
I am going to say bottle formula is the way to go!! Yes it is easier but more$$$. I tried to bf my 2 and wetto formula at 2 weeks let's face it that got the best colustrum. It is hard on the mum and they sleep better on the formula. I wish you the best go with formula
priddy-mama - Friday, 25 Sep
I really wanted to breast feed my daughter and since she was placed in the intensive care until for 5 days after she was born it was really hard for me. I felt guilty all the time and imbarrased that I was not able to breast feed. I was worried about what other people would think of me and wanted to make sure she was getting the best milk possible. I will say this though, the best thing for her though was me being able to be there for her and getting some rest. I was able to do this because my husband was able to give her a bottle as well. I ended up just keeping her on formula and she was just as happy as ever. Do whats best for you! If you need to give him some formula so you can sleep, then it will make you more relaxed and him also! Hang in there...Keep your chin up...and do what you feel is best for you! Everyone is different and nobody knows you or your body better than yourself! :)
proudmommyof3♥ - Friday, 25 Sep
Hey hun'... I too had struggles breastfeeding (all 3 of my kids). My milk supply was not very abundant lets just say, thus making it so they were never satisfied off only breastfeeding and I also had to supplement with formula... and boy did I have so much guilt as well, I had my heart set on breastfeeding ONLY, as you said it is the best for our little ones, but at the end of the day you have to do what is best and formula fed babies do just as well! I cried my eyes about the whole thing with each baby, it made me feel like I was depriving my kids of what nature intended to be their nourishment :( but as I said sweetie you have to do what is best regardless of what the books, nurses, and all say... trust your instincts and know that if you have to do formula and breastfeeding together it is just fine!!!! Oh goodness do I understand your thoughts and worries about Steve going back to work, I went through the same when My hubby goes back, he always takes the first week to week and a half off after their births and once that time was over I just get so emotional, he was just so great in taking care of me and helping with everything. I would cry as if he was leaving and I would never see him again even though he just had to go back to work! Trust that you will be fine and even if it gets difficult take it one day at a time, probably the best advice I was given!!! And cherish every minute of it, even the hard, scary, rough times, as they will pass so quickly & in a blink he will be a year old, then going to school... ~ sending hugs ~
sarahbrooke - Friday, 25 Sep
I am going through the same problem as you. Analeigh is a little over 2 weeks old now and I'm not producing enough milk for her so at night time I've been giving her a bottle everytime she wakes up. She still gets up about 3 times a night. I don't know what to do either. I hate the fact that I have to give her formula.. I'd much rather breastfeed all the time. I'm sorry you're going through a tough time. Hang in there, and things will get better. You can always try pumping.. I did, but I can only get an oz or less out everytime.. Which is not nearly enough to feed her.. She eats 2-3 oz at a time when she bottle feeds. Good luck, and if you find out any good advice, let me in on it too!
amynicole - Friday, 25 Sep
my son would never latch on for me to breast-feed. so i pumped all the time. it worked good bc i could feed him but also gave someone else the chance to feed him and me and hubby took turns sleeping and feeding at night.
silly*lily*mommy - Friday, 25 Sep
I agree with jambaby....my blues helped me make the final decision about breastfeeding. Giving Joshua the best start does not mean he has to be on the boob. You have the option to pump your breastmilk a couple times a night. I was able to successfully pump for 11 weeks before I went back to work and weaned Lily to make it easier for daycare. I know I gave her the best start as she went almost her first whole year without a cold, tummy sicks, ear infections, nothing!!! You are right by wanting the best for him, but you need to take care of yourself first, as your milk supply will suffer. You'll find that even pumping a bit between feeds or after Joshua has had enough also increases milk supply and allows dad to feed him out of a bottle your own breast milk from what you have been able to pump extra for the day. This was the only way my husband and I stayed sane during Lily's first few weeks. I know you feel like you will feel guilty, but if he's still getting that liquid gold, and you get to get a break from him nursing all the time, that helps you both in the end and creates a more content family. Don't think about what others will think if they see your baby with a bottle, you're the only one who has to know that he is really getting breast milk in that bottle. Society puts way too much emphasis on breastfeeding and less on other ways to get that breast milk out. It's the same from a bottle as it is from the breast....don't feel guilty if you change things up a bit.
jambaby - Friday, 25 Sep
Do you have a pump? Try to pump for steve in the night or even for you so you can see how much he is eating. The beginning is ALWAYs hard and tiring, it isn't just you we all go thru it, hang it there!
mamacas26 - Friday, 25 Sep
And a side note, your body only makes the amount of milk you nurse...so if you are supplementing with formula at night, your body will only make enough milk for the day...you might find that when you go back to breastfeeding him through the night your milk supply won't be as abundant. It takes a full 48 hours of increase nursing to get your supply back up...so don't give up! You can do it! I believe in you!
mamacas26 - Friday, 25 Sep
I'm a strong breastfeeding advocate. I would stop giving him formula. This is just what it's like. It will get easier, but he is in the first few weeks of life, and you are going to be tired, stressed out and emotional...and we all have to go through it. I'm not sure where he is sleeping, but I always kept my babies in bed with me, and when they'd wake up at night, I'd just lay on my side and nurse and then we'd go back to sleep...they have co-sleepers if you are scared to lay with him without one. But honestly, don't give up on the breastfeeding. It's so worth it, and Joshua deserves it...no matter how tired or stressed you are. I hope I don't sound calloused...I'm going on my third baby, and I know I have restless nights ahead of me and will breastfeed for the next year and a half after he/she is born..
haileys mommy - Friday, 25 Sep
Girl, I almost gave up because he was waking up so much at night.. I never got any sleep. I refused to do formula, because I wanted to stick with her having only breastmilk.So around 2 months old, I started pumping. Babies get lazy on the boob, and fall asleep sometimes whenever they aren't full.. resulting in them waking up soon to eat again. So I started pumping and pump about 5oz every time, and she would sleep a lot longer from my pumped milk rather than from the breast. So now all I do is pump, she sleeps longer resulting in us getting to sleep longer.If you don't want to pump during the day, maybe just try at night. You could always add about an oz of formula to it as well if you don't think you're producing enough just yet.
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