Write a new blog
| 02-4-2008 - WORST NEWS I'VE EVER GOTTEN |
My mood while writing this blog: upsettttttttt and pissed! |
hello everyone.
well i got the results of my CVS and to say the least they were devastating.to start it all off i was at school when i got the phone call so i went out in the hallway to hear the results. my heart was poundingggg i expected to hear okay everything turned out fine. and insteaddd they confirmed the baby has down syndrome. i am pissed as hell because ive alreddy had 2 miscarriages and now i finally thought i was having a healthy baby and i get hit with this. i was just happyyyy to be prego finally happy about it. now i go on friday to talk to the genetic counselor and discuss my options. which pretty much are keep the baby with down syndrome or abort my pregnancy. awesome fucking choices. im so0 pissed and so0 upset . i just wanted everything for oncee in my fucking life to work out. but noooo no no no. it cant. it cant work out because its me. God just looks down on me and says i hate u kassie and u suck at life and im gonna make ur life a living hell foreverrrr yayyy. i relle think he just is out to get me. everything bad that could possibly happen to me happens. like its getting relle fucking old. and after 2 fucking miscarriages u know i was pretty pissed. now im beyond pissed. im to the point where i just dont give a flying fuck. im pissed im pissed im pissed beyond belief. i cannot wait to go out tonite. i need to get out and i need to forget about my life. and im sorry i sound relle crazy right now. but i just got some of the worst news ill hopefully ever get. and im just devastated to say the fuckind least. to everyone i know on here i hope ur pregnancies go alot fucking smoother than all of mine. im sorry for cursing and being a bitch. im just relle upset. and u know wat maybe God has a plan. i know he does. but does he relle have to torture my soul in the process of completing this plan!? like relle...what is he trying to do? i dont get it. i just pray he knows what hes doing. i cant take much more of this shit. im tired of being strong. im sick of it. i just want something good to work out and to stay that way. doesnt everyone deserve that?
4 Comments on WORST NEWS I'VE EVER GOTTEN*Baby-Mine* -
Wednesday, 16 Apr again, i'm so sorry you have to go through this. but you know...He DOES have a plan, and maybe he doesnt EXPECT you to have to be strong. that's what HE'S there for. I think maybe He wants you to turn to Him, and lean on HIM during this time, and trust that He DOES have a plan for you and your child. It is bad news, but maybe it doesnt HAVE to be. you never know what's going to come out when you have this baby, and maybe the blessing in all of this is the fact that you finally ARE carrying a baby and havent lost it. just think about what an abortion can do to your body. it can make it not strong enough to EVER carry a baby full term. i think this baby IS the blessing.<3 Shan -
Thursday, 3 Apr I tried posting and my post disappeared.
I am so sorry you are being faced with this. I do know that God is not punishing you and certainly does not hate you. Sometimes we, as humans, can't see the full plan and why God allows some things. Bad things don't happen because God does them to us, they happen because of sin in the world.
(((HUGS))) You are in my thoughts and prayers. !vickylovesanth! -
Thursday, 3 Apr hiyaa hows you ? is ur pregnancy going ok? xxx sabina25 -
Wednesday, 2 Apr Hi... sorry about your news. I am due around the same time as you and also had a miscarraige last year so I can relate to what you are saying. I have thought that I could have a baby with down syndrome and I am not too bothered by it, there is a lot of help available and they are very loving as children and adults. Not sure what I would do in your situation though, only you know that. But we are only 13 weeks at the moment and taking on a child with a disability is a huge commitment.. takes a lot of patience. What a shit decision you have to make... I am here as a sounding board if you need to talk about your feelings... I am not here to say what is right or wrong.. XX