26-3-2009 - Some News Finally!!!!

My mood while writing this blog: In A Funk!

Morning friends,

I've been so friggin depressed, and I just cant seem to shake it. I have'nt wanted to work so that has put a strain in our financial department because as you know, my husband was a stay at home with our daughter while I worked. I was okay with that because I'm not housewife material, I love to work!!!! He has a job now but it doesnt pay crap and I'm starting to question things in our relationship over all this and it sucks, I never thought I would look at him in that kind of light but I'm having real issues with this pregnancy already! I'm finding it more difficult to accept that I will be having not 1 but 2 kids..... Being home with my daughter has made me realize just how much i hate being at home! my husband got a job to help around here but it doesnt pay sh#@. And As of March 1st, my insurance dropped me because I did not send them proof of pregnancy..... So I've been trying to get insurance, but to be honest with you guys, I really dont care anymore. I still feel no attatchment to this baby inside and I dont know why, I just dont! I know I have I should be talking to a health care provider about all this stuff but I dont believe in antidepressants for my own personal reasons. I just need to pull up my boot straps and find ways to deal with the situation I am in!! Sorry its been a long rant, I just wanted to let you guys know where I am at in life...... in a dark tunnel with rat crap...LOL. TTYS