| mommylove09 | |
 | Age: 31 Country: USA Province/region: NJ City: Private Partner: my darling husband, Jody Children: Yes, 2 Pregnant: Not anymore Occupation: veterinarian |
| Online: More than 3 months ago Last updated: 299 days ago. Member since: 1100 days | |
| | Profile | Photos (86) | Children (2) | Blog (59) | Polls (0) | Agenda (0) | Comments added (4) | Notepad |
|
Members
Activity
• Now online | Member search | New members | Comment Spy
• New blogs & Questions | Recently updated profiles
• New photos: Pregnancy | Babies | Bellies | Ultrasound | Member pages
• Latest comments: Forums | Week by week | Baby development
Activity
• Now online | Member search | New members | Comment Spy
• New blogs & Questions | Recently updated profiles
• New photos: Pregnancy | Babies | Bellies | Ultrasound | Member pages
• Latest comments: Forums | Week by week | Baby development
Write a new blog
Sorry, I just need to vent and anyone who is willing to listen is a saint right now, because even my DH is yelling at me, which I just can't handle right now.
Here it is:
My mom lives 1,800 miles away. My MIL lives 20 miles away. They want to co-host a shower for me. So when my mom came to visit me we looked at shower locations and "held" the date at one place. She has to fly to my shower, buy a gift and pay for half of the shower so understandably she is on a tight tight budget. I also wanted to involve her in the pregnancy as much as possible b/c she is so far away. (She went to my gender scan with me, which apparently is "also an issue" because my MIL didn't get to go).
So I told my MIL about holding a place for the shower and asked if she wanted to see it and I also emailed her some ideas for favors. Well, she blew everything out of proportion and actually cornered my husband today at a Memorial Day party and gave him an earful. She thinks that me and my mom went behind her back and booked a place and expected her to pay the whole thing and she is suggesting I demanded a particular favor and was expecting her to pay for them too.
As you can read above, I did no such thing.
I am so upset that she would actually think these things of me and my mom. I don't even want a shower anymore.
She even had the nerve to say that the baby shower is more important to her b/c this is HER first grandbaby and its my moms 6th. Well, so what? My mom is just as excited as she is.
She LOVES drama and has some major issues I guess.
I am in disbelief that she would say these things and worse yet - not even to ME, but to my husband. He said he "sided" with me - but who knows...I just heard the ranting and raving when I was pacing downstairs and they were locked in a room together.
I know I need to just call her and settle this but I truly am insulted and tired of her crap. I mean really. I called her on Thursday after the anatomy scan and left her a 5 min message, which she "didn't get" and thats my fault?
It always has to be about her and what she wants. She doesn't even care about me, she just cares about this baby inside of me. Seriously, thats what it feels like.
I am actually sick to my stomach about this.
Oh, also she is really mad because the place my mom and I picked out is not wheel chair accessible and apparently one of her friends is in a wheel chair and would not be able to attend. Which is bad on my part but really - I booked this place b/c of my mom and limited finances. Sorry my mom is more important. This place is buffet style with salad and 3 entrees and is only $17/pp. The best price we've found yet! What should I do? Help!
8 Comments on Baby Shower Drama
RainbowRach - Wednesday, 27 May
geez, we dont really have baby showers here its times like this I am glad about that!! lol I think you should leave her to calm down, then call her to explain, clearly and calmly the reason for reserving the date etc. Hopefully she will understand.
You dont need this stress right now x
allmommywantedwasabackrub - Tuesday, 26 May
Holy Smokes!!!! That is way toooooo much drama over a baby shower!!!! You folks do things quite different then we do up here, one of our friends or our mom hosts a shower in their home one afternoon with some beverages and snacks, people hang out for a while and then they leave.
If my MIL dared, which she wouldn't, I would have no problem confronting her instantly. I have a bit of drama that I have to deal with but I am so tired of bending over backwards for people that ultimately don't give a damn and in the end I don't enjoy myself so NO more for me. I can't have my sister, mom, and gramma all in the same space, so problem solved ... none of them are invited and if they ask why ..... because this shower is about me and my baby not all of your dramatic selves!!!! sorry, there was my little vent too. At the end of the day, don't get worked up over people and their stupidity, and I would surely be standing up to DH and demanding that he not yell at you!!!!
Tia.M - Tuesday, 26 May
yeah i think you should talk to her face to face calmly...most people do better face to face. and just explain to her WHY you did this with your mom,my mom also lives out of state so when she comes to visit it's like all i want to do is spend time with her and do all this planing stuff with her! but i have a MIL who would rather just watch my boys and stay outta stuff anyway so i guess i am lucky there...but i have been through MANY situations like you are going through now with my best friend and her MIL wow! explain the favors were only a sugestion,and tell her how much you're mom is having to pay also...she may just be stubborn and not care to hear it but at least you can still get if off your chest. yikes you may not want to give Avery your middle now wow! lol j/kwhats her MIL middle name? maybe that will make all the drama go away! ;) here lady we named our firsy born after you happy now! my best friend is throwing mine,keeping fam outta of it! i love when she does showers too cause i get to pretty much plan exactly what i want :) just try explaining and try to get out of her what she wants to do...she may not even know she may just want something to bitch about-
wietmanfamily - Tuesday, 26 May
first i feel bad for you! second i agree you need to take a deep breathe because you are carrying for your miracle!! first remind your mil you are pregnant and she needs to relax!! im kinda of a blunt person so it may not be easy but you and your mom have a bond you and your mil wil never have! no matter where you have your shower it will be great and ill pray for a healthy baby!!!!
2ndlibrababy - Tuesday, 26 May
I agree with everyone about calming down first, then talking to your MIL. Sounds to me like you have a good opportunity to put her in her place before things get out of control...when the baby is born,etc. My MIL was talking about taking a week off work when the baby comes so she can help me out and blah blah blah..I simply said "if you can pry her from my arms *little laugh*" She hasn't been the same with me since and I'm glad. I like family to be there for me, not intrude! You are her DIL not her daughter, even if your mom wasnt so far away, your mom SHOULD come first. I'm so sorry sweetie...vent all you need!!
saawmummy - Monday, 25 May
She sounds awful! I would take tlb562's advice and leave it a day to speak to her. The problem with MILs is they expect the same relationship with their daughter in laws as they would have with their real daughters. This is never the case. It is more natural for me to do things with my own mother that his even though she is lovely. My Mum really struggled to take a back seat when my brothers wife had a baby. In the end she realsied her time would come when I had a baby and here it is. Your MIL just has to lump it.
Isa1227 - Monday, 25 May
OMG, this doesn't sound too good, but truly you need to relax and not get sooo stressed out, do it for Avery, and talk to your husband tell him you don't want anything from his mother at all, that you would do anything on your own and they will just be guest, i'm sure he'll get the point and she will apologize, MIL are very annoying, mine was planning on going to my US without me inviting her, that's not right, our moms are more important especially if they live so far away, i'm sure your baby has the same meaning to your mom as the first grand child she had, let them talk and don't get too stressed out, talk to your hubby and make him understand that moms are only one, and you're becoming a mother, that's when you really get to understand yours and try to pay back so much they've done for you... GOOD LUCK, please remember AVERY that's all you need to worry about, if you need help with the babyshower, i'll help you, i've plan millions of those and know the best websites
mandeb - Monday, 25 May
I think if I were you...I would wait until I had a chance to calm myself down a little and then call her and try to talk to her about it calmly without getting upset. I would explain myself and let her know we were not trying to do anything behind her back. If she could not be nice about it or still wanted to be Mrs. Drama atleast you could say you did your part to keep the peace in the family!
Good Luck with this hun! I really have no clue why anyone would want to act like a two year old about something so simple! Again good luck. Let me know how it turns out. xxx
| 25-5-2009 - Baby Shower Drama |  My mood while writing this blog:upset |
Sorry, I just need to vent and anyone who is willing to listen is a saint right now, because even my DH is yelling at me, which I just can't handle right now.
Here it is:
My mom lives 1,800 miles away. My MIL lives 20 miles away. They want to co-host a shower for me. So when my mom came to visit me we looked at shower locations and "held" the date at one place. She has to fly to my shower, buy a gift and pay for half of the shower so understandably she is on a tight tight budget. I also wanted to involve her in the pregnancy as much as possible b/c she is so far away. (She went to my gender scan with me, which apparently is "also an issue" because my MIL didn't get to go).
So I told my MIL about holding a place for the shower and asked if she wanted to see it and I also emailed her some ideas for favors. Well, she blew everything out of proportion and actually cornered my husband today at a Memorial Day party and gave him an earful. She thinks that me and my mom went behind her back and booked a place and expected her to pay the whole thing and she is suggesting I demanded a particular favor and was expecting her to pay for them too.
As you can read above, I did no such thing.
I am so upset that she would actually think these things of me and my mom. I don't even want a shower anymore.
She even had the nerve to say that the baby shower is more important to her b/c this is HER first grandbaby and its my moms 6th. Well, so what? My mom is just as excited as she is.
She LOVES drama and has some major issues I guess.
I am in disbelief that she would say these things and worse yet - not even to ME, but to my husband. He said he "sided" with me - but who knows...I just heard the ranting and raving when I was pacing downstairs and they were locked in a room together.
I know I need to just call her and settle this but I truly am insulted and tired of her crap. I mean really. I called her on Thursday after the anatomy scan and left her a 5 min message, which she "didn't get" and thats my fault?
It always has to be about her and what she wants. She doesn't even care about me, she just cares about this baby inside of me. Seriously, thats what it feels like.
I am actually sick to my stomach about this.
Oh, also she is really mad because the place my mom and I picked out is not wheel chair accessible and apparently one of her friends is in a wheel chair and would not be able to attend. Which is bad on my part but really - I booked this place b/c of my mom and limited finances. Sorry my mom is more important. This place is buffet style with salad and 3 entrees and is only $17/pp. The best price we've found yet! What should I do? Help!
8 Comments on Baby Shower Drama
RainbowRach - Wednesday, 27 May
geez, we dont really have baby showers here its times like this I am glad about that!! lol I think you should leave her to calm down, then call her to explain, clearly and calmly the reason for reserving the date etc. Hopefully she will understand.
You dont need this stress right now x
allmommywantedwasabackrub - Tuesday, 26 May
Holy Smokes!!!! That is way toooooo much drama over a baby shower!!!! You folks do things quite different then we do up here, one of our friends or our mom hosts a shower in their home one afternoon with some beverages and snacks, people hang out for a while and then they leave.
If my MIL dared, which she wouldn't, I would have no problem confronting her instantly. I have a bit of drama that I have to deal with but I am so tired of bending over backwards for people that ultimately don't give a damn and in the end I don't enjoy myself so NO more for me. I can't have my sister, mom, and gramma all in the same space, so problem solved ... none of them are invited and if they ask why ..... because this shower is about me and my baby not all of your dramatic selves!!!! sorry, there was my little vent too. At the end of the day, don't get worked up over people and their stupidity, and I would surely be standing up to DH and demanding that he not yell at you!!!!
Tia.M - Tuesday, 26 May
yeah i think you should talk to her face to face calmly...most people do better face to face. and just explain to her WHY you did this with your mom,my mom also lives out of state so when she comes to visit it's like all i want to do is spend time with her and do all this planing stuff with her! but i have a MIL who would rather just watch my boys and stay outta stuff anyway so i guess i am lucky there...but i have been through MANY situations like you are going through now with my best friend and her MIL wow! explain the favors were only a sugestion,and tell her how much you're mom is having to pay also...she may just be stubborn and not care to hear it but at least you can still get if off your chest. yikes you may not want to give Avery your middle now wow! lol j/kwhats her MIL middle name? maybe that will make all the drama go away! ;) here lady we named our firsy born after you happy now! my best friend is throwing mine,keeping fam outta of it! i love when she does showers too cause i get to pretty much plan exactly what i want :) just try explaining and try to get out of her what she wants to do...she may not even know she may just want something to bitch about-
wietmanfamily - Tuesday, 26 May
first i feel bad for you! second i agree you need to take a deep breathe because you are carrying for your miracle!! first remind your mil you are pregnant and she needs to relax!! im kinda of a blunt person so it may not be easy but you and your mom have a bond you and your mil wil never have! no matter where you have your shower it will be great and ill pray for a healthy baby!!!!
2ndlibrababy - Tuesday, 26 May
I agree with everyone about calming down first, then talking to your MIL. Sounds to me like you have a good opportunity to put her in her place before things get out of control...when the baby is born,etc. My MIL was talking about taking a week off work when the baby comes so she can help me out and blah blah blah..I simply said "if you can pry her from my arms *little laugh*" She hasn't been the same with me since and I'm glad. I like family to be there for me, not intrude! You are her DIL not her daughter, even if your mom wasnt so far away, your mom SHOULD come first. I'm so sorry sweetie...vent all you need!!
saawmummy - Monday, 25 May
She sounds awful! I would take tlb562's advice and leave it a day to speak to her. The problem with MILs is they expect the same relationship with their daughter in laws as they would have with their real daughters. This is never the case. It is more natural for me to do things with my own mother that his even though she is lovely. My Mum really struggled to take a back seat when my brothers wife had a baby. In the end she realsied her time would come when I had a baby and here it is. Your MIL just has to lump it.
Isa1227 - Monday, 25 May
OMG, this doesn't sound too good, but truly you need to relax and not get sooo stressed out, do it for Avery, and talk to your husband tell him you don't want anything from his mother at all, that you would do anything on your own and they will just be guest, i'm sure he'll get the point and she will apologize, MIL are very annoying, mine was planning on going to my US without me inviting her, that's not right, our moms are more important especially if they live so far away, i'm sure your baby has the same meaning to your mom as the first grand child she had, let them talk and don't get too stressed out, talk to your hubby and make him understand that moms are only one, and you're becoming a mother, that's when you really get to understand yours and try to pay back so much they've done for you... GOOD LUCK, please remember AVERY that's all you need to worry about, if you need help with the babyshower, i'll help you, i've plan millions of those and know the best websites
mandeb - Monday, 25 May
I think if I were you...I would wait until I had a chance to calm myself down a little and then call her and try to talk to her about it calmly without getting upset. I would explain myself and let her know we were not trying to do anything behind her back. If she could not be nice about it or still wanted to be Mrs. Drama atleast you could say you did your part to keep the peace in the family!
Good Luck with this hun! I really have no clue why anyone would want to act like a two year old about something so simple! Again good luck. Let me know how it turns out. xxx
Photos
Children
Latest blogs
15-4-2011 - 39 weeks
06-4-2011 - 37weeks 4 days
26-3-2011 - 36 weeks
12-3-2011 - 34 weeks
29-1-2011 - 28 weeks
17-1-2011 - 26 weeks
08-1-2011 - 25 weeks
24-12-2010 - Merry Christmas!
30-11-2010 - Its a....
19-10-2010 - We are weaned
16-10-2010 - Second trimester
22-9-2010 - 9 weeks and 5 days - why this big belly?
05-9-2010 - Baby Prediction
04-9-2010 - First Ultrasound
08-3-2010 - First Birthday as a Mommy!
26-2-2010 - Mom Face
12-10-2009 - So happy! My little girl arrived!
01-10-2009 - 39 week scan and OB visit
01-10-2009 - Preggo Survey
29-9-2009 - The full moons effect on natural childbirth
29-9-2009 - Almost there....
24-9-2009 - 38 week OB visit
17-9-2009 - 37 week scan and OB appt
13-9-2009 - DH Survey
13-9-2009 - 36 week appt and scan
09-9-2009 - Life is good..
03-9-2009 - 35 week OB visit
31-8-2009 - Update on Skin
30-8-2009 - Weird rash - help!
30-8-2009 - What to Pack for the Hospital
18-8-2009 - HOW TO MAKE YOUR PAGE PRIVATE
17-8-2009 - 33 week scan
11-8-2009 - The NEW camcorder
09-8-2009 - Baby Shower Photos are Up
09-8-2009 - My Baby Shower
08-8-2009 - Labor Prediction Quiz
31-7-2009 - My Anniversary
30-7-2009 - Yikes!
09-7-2009 - 27 week OB appt
25-6-2009 - 25 Week OB appt
10-6-2009 - Abnormal Test
01-6-2009 - 21 week photos
29-5-2009 - We decided on a middle name
25-5-2009 - Baby Shower Drama
21-5-2009 - 20 week anatomy scan..still a girl.
07-5-2009 - Its a........
06-5-2009 - Baby Names
14-4-2009 - Feeling Hurt @ week 15
03-4-2009 - I love my Mother in Law!
02-4-2009 - 13 Week NT Scan
26-3-2009 - My little one's heartbeat!
19-3-2009 - Not the best day....
14-3-2009 - My own ultrasound
12-3-2009 - Glucose Tolerance Test
10-3-2009 - Is she fat or is she pregnant phase....
08-3-2009 - Happy Birthday to me!
28-2-2009 - My first craving!
28-2-2009 - Update 2/27
26-2-2009 - My first prenatal visit 2/26/09
15-4-2011 - 39 weeks
06-4-2011 - 37weeks 4 days
26-3-2011 - 36 weeks
12-3-2011 - 34 weeks
29-1-2011 - 28 weeks
17-1-2011 - 26 weeks
08-1-2011 - 25 weeks
24-12-2010 - Merry Christmas!
30-11-2010 - Its a....
19-10-2010 - We are weaned
16-10-2010 - Second trimester
22-9-2010 - 9 weeks and 5 days - why this big belly?
05-9-2010 - Baby Prediction
04-9-2010 - First Ultrasound
08-3-2010 - First Birthday as a Mommy!
26-2-2010 - Mom Face
12-10-2009 - So happy! My little girl arrived!
01-10-2009 - 39 week scan and OB visit
01-10-2009 - Preggo Survey
29-9-2009 - The full moons effect on natural childbirth
29-9-2009 - Almost there....
24-9-2009 - 38 week OB visit
17-9-2009 - 37 week scan and OB appt
13-9-2009 - DH Survey
13-9-2009 - 36 week appt and scan
09-9-2009 - Life is good..
03-9-2009 - 35 week OB visit
31-8-2009 - Update on Skin
30-8-2009 - Weird rash - help!
30-8-2009 - What to Pack for the Hospital
18-8-2009 - HOW TO MAKE YOUR PAGE PRIVATE
17-8-2009 - 33 week scan
11-8-2009 - The NEW camcorder
09-8-2009 - Baby Shower Photos are Up
09-8-2009 - My Baby Shower
08-8-2009 - Labor Prediction Quiz
31-7-2009 - My Anniversary
30-7-2009 - Yikes!
09-7-2009 - 27 week OB appt
25-6-2009 - 25 Week OB appt
10-6-2009 - Abnormal Test
01-6-2009 - 21 week photos
29-5-2009 - We decided on a middle name
25-5-2009 - Baby Shower Drama
21-5-2009 - 20 week anatomy scan..still a girl.
07-5-2009 - Its a........
06-5-2009 - Baby Names
14-4-2009 - Feeling Hurt @ week 15
03-4-2009 - I love my Mother in Law!
02-4-2009 - 13 Week NT Scan
26-3-2009 - My little one's heartbeat!
19-3-2009 - Not the best day....
14-3-2009 - My own ultrasound
12-3-2009 - Glucose Tolerance Test
10-3-2009 - Is she fat or is she pregnant phase....
08-3-2009 - Happy Birthday to me!
28-2-2009 - My first craving!
28-2-2009 - Update 2/27
26-2-2009 - My first prenatal visit 2/26/09
Agenda