Write a new blog
|07-3-2010 - I'm falling apart
||My mood while writing this blog:|
I've never done this blog thing before but I feel like there's no other way to express my feelings. I put a question up a few days ago concerning my stepfather and him just touching my body any time he pleases. Well everyone that responded said I should definitely talk to my mother about it. So when she asked why I wasn't coming to her house I explained that it was due to her husband and his busy hands. At the time she seemed a little upset by the news and said that she would have a talk with him. She was totally on my side. Mind you....I never asked her to say a word about it, I just answered her question. Then later that evening while we were on the phone I apologized for the things that had happened, despite me not doing anything wrong. She then says well thats fine but he refuses to come around you anymore. I say well thats fine but he needs to realize that what he did was wrong. Before you know it she's screaming and crying and she hung up on me. That was 2 days ago and I haven't heard from her since. and she lives right next door. I am heart broken. My mother and I have always been very close. In fact more like sisters. I have no friends. She was the only person outside of my husband that I could actually talk to. I feel so alone, so betrayed, and most of all I am hurt to the core of my soul. Does she honestly think I just made that up? Why would she turn her back on her daughter? We are now in a very big hurry to find a place and move. We currently live on my grandfathers land and he is going to die soon from cancer. After he passes I already know that all of this is being left to my mother. I am deeply afraid of her throwing my family out now. I have 4 kids and really can't be homeless. So we are searching day and night for a place to go very quickly. I never gave this a thought before because I trusted her but sadly now I cannot do that. I am so mentally drained and I know my kids can see straight through those fake smiles. I cry often and they are confused why mommy is crying. I am a mess and I don't know how to fix it. Thanks for listening ladies!
Comments on I'm falling apart