02-4-2009 - Update

My mood while writing this blog: Cold

Hey ladies! I know that I said that I was going to update a few days ago, but to be honest I have been very busy. So I am going to try and update you all on all that has gone on.

So we got into Phoenix at midnight on Monday March 23. On Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, I was at the hospital the majority of the days being with my family. My Tia (Aunt) wouldn't let me into the ICU to see my cousin Raquel because she was all tubed up and had a bunch of connections on her. She said that is was really a emotional sight to see and wouldn't want for me to see my cousin in that state. But she did promise me that when they take the breathing tube out that she would allow me to go and visit with her. I was hurt at first because of how close Raquel and I are, but I understood my Tia's decision for me to wait to see her. Like she said, I'm pregnant and emotional and the last thing my cousin would want to see is me crying from the sight of her. Raquel is my little cousin and always looked up to me and wanted to be like me, and if she were to see me crying over the ordeal would make her break down and use up a lot of her energy. So I was there almost everyday as a support system for our family. It was nice visiting with them and getting them to laugh. They all mention how happy they were that I got there to change up the mood in the waiting room.

I also got to meet baby Isabel. She is such an adorable little angel. She is one of those perfect babies that don't fuss or cry constantly. She has a beautiful color to her skin and an incredible head of hair. I didn't get to actually hold her until Wednesday when they finally released her (they had her in a nursery where if you weren't grandma or dad you weren't allowed in). She was released to Raquel's brother and his wife for them to take care of until Raquel gets out and grandma can be around to take care of. But when she did go home with them I was also accompaning them on the trip home. When we got the the house I finally got to hold her, feed her, burp her, and kiss her. But I left all the diaper changing to my cousins.

While we were out in Phoenix we were also planning on visiting my husband's house where his Mom, his Sister, her 3 kids, his Nephew and his pregnant girlfriend, and there baby live. My husband had already told me that since immigration had picked up his father (who ran and upheld the house), that he was going to be spending a lot of time at the house doing the yard work and fixing the things that need to be fixed around the house. So on Tuesday when we stopped by he went over the house and wrote down the things that he wanted to get done on our trip. Let me tell you it was a long list. But he figured it was going to be since his sister works 10 hour days, his mom has been restricted by her doctor to basically doing nothing around the house (but she still cleans and cooks), and his nephew and his girlfriend freeload and don't do shit around the house.

So on Wednesday we went back for Ruben to start his work. Ruben was about to get started on his to do list and I went to the refridgerator to get a bite to eat when I came around to the actualitly of the entire situation. When I opened that refridgerator there was literally 3 things in the entire refridge/freezer. There was a jug of Kool-Aid, a pack of tortillas, and trays of ice. Never have I seen a fridge look so empty. I turned around to my husband and his Mom sitting at the table and asked her what was going on which prompted her to begin and cry her eyes out for an hour crying about how her husband is gone and nobody helps her around the house. That Ruben's sister doesn't use her food stamps for the house, instead she uses them for her friends and that leaves my mother-in-law with nothing to feed the kids during the day. That my MIL has asked and asked her to get her kids into daycare because she was order not to be taking care of them anymore cause they are causing her to have high blood pressure and to lose her hair, oh and asthma attacks. The state has already approved her for state funded daycare two months ago, but she still hasn't put them in. Then our nephew started to bring his no good friends around the house smoking weed, drinking, and being disrespectful. Not only that but he complains cause his pregnant girlfriend has no food to eat, but yet he does nothing about it to help and nor does he bring in any money from a job to pay bills or buy groceries. Ruben and I were totally devastated. He coudn't believe that after his Mom has always taken care of everyone, that now when she needs someone to help and take care of her no one is stepping up to help out.

So after talking about it for a day I told my husband to convice his Mom to come out here and stay with us for a couple of months. Just so that she can finally get some relaxation time in and to force everyone into doing things for themselves, and to own up to their responsibilities. My MIL was all for it but was worried that if she left nobody was going to get ontop of paying the bills and that nobody would go and visit my FIL in jail. (yes he is still in there and will be for another two months until his next court date, and who knows if they will postpone it again). After Ruben talked about it with his sister and nephew and told them it was their time to finally grow up, they agreed and assured my MIL that they will finally get their shit straight. Before we left, our nephew and his girlfriend both got a job, and my SIL found a babysitter to take care of the kids until she gets a day off during the week to enroll the kids into daycare. My MIL was actually heartbroken that it took her leaving for everyone to finally step up but I think I was more than just that. Everyone looks up to Ruben as a father figure and really seem to always listen to him. He just has this way with talking to people. So she came back with us and whenever everything is settled and put into place back at home she will go back. Or Ruben will go and kick everyone out in May. Its his house, he got it for his Mom and Dad, and told his sister and nephew he had no problem putting them out, and that we would take the kids away.

So there goes that. Now back to my cousin Raquel. Saturday she got her breathing tube taken out but was very sedated so I didn't make my trip to finally see her until Sunday, the day we left. When I finally went to see her they had just taken her out of ICU and she was in her own spacious room. I gave her a HUGE kiss and hug and in her words exactly "took her mind off of all the negative for 3 hours". It was a really nice visit. I didn't treat her differently and acted like my crazy ass self. She kept on asking me not to make her laugh though because it hurt. I tried but I'm just naturally a goofy person. Later that night as I was getting ready to head on out and come back home we got a call in that she developed a fever/infection and was having a hard time breathing. They took an x-ray and saw that she had pneumia. She also developed a yeast infection and another infection on her c-section incision. So by Monday night she was put back into ICU. They had to poke a tube in her side to drain out her lungs of all the fluid that was in them. On Tuesday my Mom told me that she had already drain out a quart of fluid and where expecting to drain out more. So once again she is in critical condition and udergoing chemo.

Oh shoot I forgot to mention on Saturday when they finally moved her into her own room she consciously finally got to meet her daughter for the first time and hold her. She said that she doesn't remember anything after the c-section until they began to prep her to remove her breathing tube.

So all in all our trip out to Phoenix was a very stressful one. It was long but it went by very fast. My boys got to spend a lot of time with Grandma and Grandpa and had a blast. Ruben and I managed to go to my best friend's wedding, and to go watch my cousin play in his band at a salsa club. So we had a few good moments but all in all a very draining and stressful trip. I'm looking forward to going back in May and maybe having a babyshower. We'll see. Never had one before and would like to have one since we will be finding out the sex this time around, unlike with our two boys.

So I'll go ahead and stop it here. I have wrote a bunch, a lot more than I was expecting to. So I leave you all saying, Thank you. You have all been wonderful and incredible woman showing concern for my cousin and that whole situation. I have you all in my thoughts and prayers. Taren C I'm so sorry for you lose. You and your family are in my prayers.

Mrs. Leyva