| mrscolegrove | |
| mrscolegrove has 32 days to go and is now in week 35 | |
 | Age: 20 Country: US Province/region: Florida City: Ft. myers Partner: ryan 22 Children: Yes, 2 Pregnant: Yes Due date: 16 Nov ,2008 Occupation: house wife |
| Online: 9 hours ago. Last updated: 110 days ago. Member since: 164 days | |
| | Profile | Photos (15) | Children (2) | Blog (12) | Polls (0) | Agenda (0) | Comments added (4) | Notepad |
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5 Comments on depersion
JennSever - Wednesday, 4 Jun
well first off, i wish that you would get professional help. talk to someone who is not emotionally involved with you. i went through a similar situation - my ex got custody of my 3 kids and it was heartbreaking! i am now preg with my 4th w/ a man who is still married to his horrible wife & i have his 4yr old daughter almost everyday. what kind of screwed up life am i living?! you cannot let this depression continue as it is affecting the baby. call a religious counseling center and tell them a little about you. i see a counselor every week and pay her 5 bucks. she normally charges 175 per hr! you can make it - sit down and figure out your priorities..this is your life honey...good luck
jaydsmom - Wednesday, 4 Jun
Please go seek help. I know you probably don't want to go to a hospital because it sounds like then your other kids would be left alone, but go to a doctor. I have had all the same feelings as you with my last pregnancy. I was so out of control. I thought I would be a bad mom and beat my daughter like my dad did to me. I hated my life, I hated myself, I wanted to die really, but I didn't want to at the same time because I loved my unborn baby girl and wanted to see her grow up. It can be so hard and so confusing. The doctor put me on meds and slowly within about 3 weeks I started to feel better. It didn't happen overnight, but it happened. If you need to talk, I am here. I have been through it. Over and over again. Tara
moms the word - Tuesday, 3 Jun
It sounds to me like yo definitely need to seek out some kind of counseling. There are free services in almost every community. Do you have any family to reach out to? You also need to remember that there are many things that you cannot control. Your main job right now is to take care of yourself and your children. Try to take it one day at a time and enjoy what you do have, two beautiful children and another one on the way, a husband who you definitely seem to love and your physical health. I know how tough it can be not having your husband there with you to share in the pregnancy. My husband was on the road during my first pregnancy just like yours is. I found trying to talk to him when he was working to be impossible, he kept on telling me that he didn't want to talk about the problems at home when he was so far away and there was nothing he could do about it from where he was at the time. When he did come home all I wanted to talk about was my problems and all he wanted to do was watch tv and sleep. It was very hard. I finally told him that he had to choose a new career or that I would have to turn our marriage into a business relationship until I could make things work out for me and the baby. Well, he worked really hard and found a local job where he could be home every night. That did not fix all our problems but it was a start for us. I think you need to get counseling for yourself and perhaps talk to your husband about couples counseling as well. Try to take it one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time if need be. Good luck and I will be praying for you.
brittany1621 - Tuesday, 3 Jun
Hi. It sounds like you need some type of immediate intervention. I am a counselor in NY so I am not sure how the system works in Florida, but if you are feeling you can't take a day more feeling the way you do you need to go to your local hospital and they will immediately admit you in to their mental health facilty. You will start treatment immediately, and be in a safe environment with people you can relate with. If your worried about insurance, I am not sure if you already have in through your husband or if you are able to get medicade on your own. But there are many ways to go around paying for your stay. What most people don't know is that the more hospital bills you have the more in debt you are and the more eligible you are for medicade which would pay for everything. Even if you already have a primary insurance medicade can become your secondary insurance and pay for anything or everything the primary does not. Getting in to a counselor here in new york can take 1 to 3 months. If you go to the emergency room and let them know the way you are feeling and the thoughts you are having you will recieve treatment and help immediately! I hope you get everything you need! ~Brittany
Julianna - Tuesday, 3 Jun
Even if Mental health services are not covered on your plan (counseling) you should be able to go to a medical doctor for some type of help. There also may be community agencies you can contact that will help you find free counseling. Maybe a local pastor could help with counseling, etc? The one thing I know for certain is that you NEED to get help. It will only get worse if you don't. In reading your previous blogs over time, I think there is a lot more going on than just childhood memories of moelstation, etc. You have current issues that are also weighing heavily on your mind. Please take it from one who has personal experiance, if you don't seek some sort of help, it will get worse. I don't want to see you or your baby get hurt! Depression is a serious illness.
| 03-6-2008 - depersion |  My mood while writing this blog:can even begin to explain |
ok its time for me to face this for about 5 months now ive been depresed im spriralling down this dark hole i just cant seem to get out of this new baby on the way is scaring the hell out of me. how will i react to this one? how do i get out of the feeling the same thing is going to happen? will i be a better mother this time? can i really raise this child right if the father is only home 4 days a month? is the economy going to get so bad that there wont be enough money to feed her? will my husband lose his job? will i ever get over the feeling im useless? will i ever let go of my past? its really creeping up on me and i find myself acting like the scared little girl i was when my grandfather was malesting me. have i grown any since then? when will i stop letting my past control my life? im scared im losing any sense of control i had. i cant get help unless this new insurance will cover it which i dont think it does. im losing my mind and i want to be strong for this child i cant let this destroy me like it did last time i have no choice i have to start facing this now or im going to risk my child and thats scares the hell out of me to. dont know what to do dont know where to turn for help. no money no husband around forced to live another day forcing my feelings down
please note i dont have my other children if u read my other blogs and my original thing on my page ull understand
5 Comments on depersion
JennSever - Wednesday, 4 Jun
well first off, i wish that you would get professional help. talk to someone who is not emotionally involved with you. i went through a similar situation - my ex got custody of my 3 kids and it was heartbreaking! i am now preg with my 4th w/ a man who is still married to his horrible wife & i have his 4yr old daughter almost everyday. what kind of screwed up life am i living?! you cannot let this depression continue as it is affecting the baby. call a religious counseling center and tell them a little about you. i see a counselor every week and pay her 5 bucks. she normally charges 175 per hr! you can make it - sit down and figure out your priorities..this is your life honey...good luck
jaydsmom - Wednesday, 4 Jun
Please go seek help. I know you probably don't want to go to a hospital because it sounds like then your other kids would be left alone, but go to a doctor. I have had all the same feelings as you with my last pregnancy. I was so out of control. I thought I would be a bad mom and beat my daughter like my dad did to me. I hated my life, I hated myself, I wanted to die really, but I didn't want to at the same time because I loved my unborn baby girl and wanted to see her grow up. It can be so hard and so confusing. The doctor put me on meds and slowly within about 3 weeks I started to feel better. It didn't happen overnight, but it happened. If you need to talk, I am here. I have been through it. Over and over again. Tara
moms the word - Tuesday, 3 Jun
It sounds to me like yo definitely need to seek out some kind of counseling. There are free services in almost every community. Do you have any family to reach out to? You also need to remember that there are many things that you cannot control. Your main job right now is to take care of yourself and your children. Try to take it one day at a time and enjoy what you do have, two beautiful children and another one on the way, a husband who you definitely seem to love and your physical health. I know how tough it can be not having your husband there with you to share in the pregnancy. My husband was on the road during my first pregnancy just like yours is. I found trying to talk to him when he was working to be impossible, he kept on telling me that he didn't want to talk about the problems at home when he was so far away and there was nothing he could do about it from where he was at the time. When he did come home all I wanted to talk about was my problems and all he wanted to do was watch tv and sleep. It was very hard. I finally told him that he had to choose a new career or that I would have to turn our marriage into a business relationship until I could make things work out for me and the baby. Well, he worked really hard and found a local job where he could be home every night. That did not fix all our problems but it was a start for us. I think you need to get counseling for yourself and perhaps talk to your husband about couples counseling as well. Try to take it one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time if need be. Good luck and I will be praying for you.
brittany1621 - Tuesday, 3 Jun
Hi. It sounds like you need some type of immediate intervention. I am a counselor in NY so I am not sure how the system works in Florida, but if you are feeling you can't take a day more feeling the way you do you need to go to your local hospital and they will immediately admit you in to their mental health facilty. You will start treatment immediately, and be in a safe environment with people you can relate with. If your worried about insurance, I am not sure if you already have in through your husband or if you are able to get medicade on your own. But there are many ways to go around paying for your stay. What most people don't know is that the more hospital bills you have the more in debt you are and the more eligible you are for medicade which would pay for everything. Even if you already have a primary insurance medicade can become your secondary insurance and pay for anything or everything the primary does not. Getting in to a counselor here in new york can take 1 to 3 months. If you go to the emergency room and let them know the way you are feeling and the thoughts you are having you will recieve treatment and help immediately! I hope you get everything you need! ~Brittany
Julianna - Tuesday, 3 Jun
Even if Mental health services are not covered on your plan (counseling) you should be able to go to a medical doctor for some type of help. There also may be community agencies you can contact that will help you find free counseling. Maybe a local pastor could help with counseling, etc? The one thing I know for certain is that you NEED to get help. It will only get worse if you don't. In reading your previous blogs over time, I think there is a lot more going on than just childhood memories of moelstation, etc. You have current issues that are also weighing heavily on your mind. Please take it from one who has personal experiance, if you don't seek some sort of help, it will get worse. I don't want to see you or your baby get hurt! Depression is a serious illness.
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Children
Latest blogs
30-9-2008 - why all at the same time
04-8-2008 - when will he get it
17-6-2008 - doctor
03-6-2008 - depersion
01-6-2008 - ugh
31-5-2008 - blah stage
30-5-2008 - married women
17-5-2008 - hes almost home
15-5-2008 - getting better
13-5-2008 - annoyed
11-5-2008 - mothers day
09-5-2008 - wedding
30-9-2008 - why all at the same time
04-8-2008 - when will he get it
17-6-2008 - doctor
03-6-2008 - depersion
01-6-2008 - ugh
31-5-2008 - blah stage
30-5-2008 - married women
17-5-2008 - hes almost home
15-5-2008 - getting better
13-5-2008 - annoyed
11-5-2008 - mothers day
09-5-2008 - wedding
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