29-10-2008 - wow

My mood while writing this blog: ehh

so i finally couldnt take it anymore. i didnt realize exactly how bad my kitchen was seeing as i rarely see it see it. i took a big bag (the big ones used for leaves in the yard) into my kitchen and started throwing stuff into it. i filled it and still have more to clean. from pizza boxes, to soda cans. i dont understand why they were on the counters to begin with. we have a trash can. literally half a step away. there were two bowls of chili that had started growing mold in them- how hard is it to dump it out? again we have a trash can!!! i had to lay down, because it took everything to get that much done. i still plan on washing the dishes or at least a good part of them. plus the rest of the garbage. it actually made me gag to go into that kitchen. how can my husband not see that??? i mean how can he stand to live that way? he keeps telling me baby you need to rest, you are supposed to be in bed, you have to take care of yourself and the baby. how can i do that when i know disgusting living conditions leads to roaches and rodents? i refuse to bring my baby into a house where it is completely unliveable. and to me that kitchen is unliveable.

i will feel better when its done but i know it will get that way again. i cant keep doing this. im supposed to be on strict bedrest. only to get up for restroom or shower a couple times a week. but my husband knows i cannot sit and watch filth take over my house. i am a clean freak, back when i was working, i worked more hours than him on my feet for 10-12 hours a day. i still kept my house clean. he sits in an office at a desk all day and says he is too tired to clean. i have never had his help with cleaning.

i dont know i am just frustrated and hurt. plus im sore today. my back hurts, the baby is shifting and has decided right under my ribs is the place he needs to be. his whole freakin body. maybe he is finally getting out of breech. that would take a load off my brain. ok thats my rant for the day lol.