12-4-2008 - Just waiting!

My mood while writing this blog: Ok

Well I was praying to have my Jada by May 15th, but she clearly has other plans. So I am just wating! No need to stress....Its all good. I am at peace with Jada being inside. I have always felt connected to my baby, but we have really bonded over the last few weeks....When I talk to her she moves, when I say her name, she moves, and when I am worried about her she moves...That is so special to me! Not much pain now a days, I get BH on a regular basis, but I know that my body is just warming up for the big day. I know that I must be in love with this baby becasue I have been thinking about natural labor! I'm sure this thought will quickly exit my mind once the real pains begin to kick my butt!

My husband has decided that we should have our last child soon after I give birth to Jada.....I am considering it. Being a wife, mother and a fatihful Christian has been my life long goals since I was about 11 years old. I love my son, I love Jada and I will love to have Jayden (hopefully the last is a boy), or Jaci (if its a girl). Just dont when is the right time to have him/her. I see so many woman with stair step children and its not a bad thing, I just know that my family will have negative things to say about me, even though I am married. Then again many of them cannot talk as I am one of the few family members with 2 children....Everyone else has me by 4 kids. Im going to look into this...Im a little nervous about this....I really want to spend time with Jada and I have so many personal goals to accomplish! My husband is a great man, great provider, but I know that he does not want to stay Army for much longer, so I need to finish my plan so that our family will be stable. Yea...I really want the "Cosby" like family....It means so much to me, they were the most stable family I saw growing up. If they were a real family I know that I could look inside and see fights and bad days, but you take the good with the bad.

Oh well, we'll see how this all turns out. There may be no need for me to delete my page after BJ is born...We might be working on Jayden or Jaci. Those are my thought for now.....Still just wating.!