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29-5-2009 - So depressed and down

My mood while writing this blog: depressed

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so i know here isn't really the place. i don't even care if anyone reads this. i just need to vent. i have no one to talk 2.....not to mention its almost 2am. neways. this is hubby's weekend off...things have been crazy with me starting to go back 2 work, and him switching between day and night shifts. well since the game came on tonight we had kind of planned all day to watch it together and just spend some time together. we had a lil argument over something SOOO STUPID but we ended up "talking it out". Things seemed to be okay so when i got out the shower i came back in the living room and sat on his lap. he didn't act as if i was even there...but i was like whatever you know i'm not gonna make a big deal out of it. one of his friends called and he sometimes goes over his house so when i heard him on the phone with him i said "don't make any plans i want to spend time with you on your weekend off". after he got off the phone and maybe 30 mins went by he called his friend that stays downstairs and mentioned something about going down there. so i got off his lap apparently mad because HELLO like i'm sitting right here and you're paying me NO attention what so ever! but i didn't say anything i wanted to keep things cool cause i know when i start off at the mouth i go OFF! well he goes downstairs and comes back up 30 mins later and goes in the room...i hear him going through his drawers. he comes out getting dressed (MIND YOU ITS 12:30) and is like i'm going out. WTF!!! Like this isn't the first time we've had problems about him going out. In fact it was too many of the same serious reoccuring problems that the last time i was on the verge of leaving and i told him to make a choice either continue going out or stop to keep your family. Don't get me wrong this was a lil while ago and he hasn't been out since...i don't mind him going out but this is one of the reasons why we have the whole issue about him going out. If i already told you i don't want you going anywhere and want to spend time with you why would you go against my wishes? we got into a huge fight. i told him not to come back. i'm so pissed. he had the nerve to say any normal person would of just said ok. YEAH RIGHT...any normal person wouldn't go against their SO's wishes. It would be different if i like he asked to go out and then i said no i wanted to spend time with him but NO i said it before. UGH i'm so frustrated so hurt. Not to mention Jr hasn't been sleeping well the past week and with him on night schedule i've been getting no sleep...i was dog freakin tired but like i really wanted to just cuddle and spend time with him and its like going out is more enjoyable to him then being with me! Its like he's choosing having fun and hanging with his friends over spending time with me. Am i over reacting? its just really hurtful that we've been through this exact situation before and yet here we are again. and he really seems to believe i'm over reacting and being "emotional". Ugh i can use any kind of advice right now! thanks ladies

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5 Comments on So depressed and down


happymere - Saturday, 30 May
Maybe it's immature but that work for me before..You have to be calm and when you talk to him you have to explain that your hurt, that you would appreciate if he could be more home...at no time tell him "you did this..or you should'nt or ..any of accusation toward him because he will take that as an attack and won't probably listen to you after that. Also, men are chaser most of the time, I'm naturally very independant so I never had much problem with men. Try ignoring him but looking sad..yah might sound like manipulation but it's true that your hurt and if he sees that your even at the point that your indifferent..he might wake up.
Good luck.

debsandgrace - Saturday, 30 May
Hi Hon, So sorry to hear what your going through with your hubby. Haven't really got any other advice than whats already been given you both need to talk but maybe when you have both calmed down a bit. Hope you both get it sorted sending you some hugs ( ) xx Take care xxx

Cailet - Saturday, 30 May
Try talking to him when you're not fighting and you can be clam. Sometimes they don't listen to us at all when we're upset because they think we're to emotional and over reacting, even when that's not true. Make him understand that you're not trying to fight again, you just need him to know WHY you were so upset and hurt by his actions, so that you don't have to fight again about it. good luck

*jellybean2* - Saturday, 30 May
hey honey i know how you are feeling. I had some problems with my hubby when Lily was first born. Will took a while to get into Daddy mode and wise up a bit to his responsibilities. He was similar to your fiance in that he was sooo excited about Lily and he was the one pushing for a baby tbh but I think for them nothing much really changes. They still think they can go out with their friends and do what they want. We came to a compromise in the end after 4 months of rowing. Now we have a deal- he goes out with his friends but only if we discuss it first and we only arrange things with our friends if we've had family time that week. if he's working every night then his only night off belongs to his family not his friends, but if he has some time off then I don't mind him going out with his friends. I don't really have any words of advice everyone has to find their own way in relationships and i can only tell u what worked for us..which is sitting down and really talking. focusing on the topic and not getting petty with each other. but i do know how u feel and im supporting u one hundred percent! good luck! x

judi - Friday, 29 May
Hey, honey. :( Sorry to hear you're having such a horrible time tonight. Ah, Men! They can be soooo stubborn, and it sounds like he's deliberately upsetting you because he's still not satisfied with what the first problem was that you felt you had "talked through". What a man sometimes doesn't understand is that when you're already overstressed and tired, you need their unconditional support. He's expecting more of you than you have to give. Try to talk some more hon, and if you can, get some sleep. *hugs*