22-5-2009 - Pride..it's a doozy!

My mood while writing this blog: Ok

Had a nice long dose of reality last night. I ws really messed up over the fact that I am going to have a really stressful time with this baby. I'ma very proud person and I try not to ask for anything from anybody. My boyfriend already has a little boy that he is unfortunatly not allowed to see. (Baby Momma's a witch with a capital "B") So with this one he's all happy since he'll be able to be in this babies' life. The part I'm having a problem is him telling his parents I'm pregnant. We've been together a year, and had spoken about getting married but...it's a baby. I was raised that marriage comes first, then the baby....

I don't want to have to rely on his parents for help. I hate asking people with money but at the same time I cant go a whole nine months without going to the doctor and what not.

I'm 20 years old, and I'm just imagining going to the mall with my baby belly and having all the older women looking at me with pity and disgust because I look like I'm 15-16. It's just so hard.....

grrr....

on the other hand the little sea monkey is... kinda being a pain in the tummy! Had a hard time brushing my teeth this morning as it set off my gag reflex, and I couldn't eat my usual toast but apparantly it likes apples cause I ate two of those! All I can hink about is "my baby has footies!" :D