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|10-7-2011 - Time to give up trying?
||My mood while writing this blog:|
Ive almost had it with TTC, Its exhausting, emotionally draining, and sucking out every ounce of happiness I have left. My husband and I do nothing but argue, and as its seems, its not just our happiness that's suffering, there's just no passion left either. The latest blow is seeing another 3 friends confirm pregnancies, one with twins. Im not entirely self centred, I am happy for them, but having to hear daily how fantastic and dreamy their pregnancy's are, its wearing me thin. Im devastated, I need a break. I had my first AF in close to a year and now Im getting CM signs of ovulation, but now I don't have the will power to even look at my hubby, let alone BD any time soon. My DD has also decided to play on my every nerve. Im more than happy to admit Im over sensitive, and probably personalising it too much, but how can I not. These people know how difficult this journey has been - still is, and to have them rub it in my face is more than salt in a wound. Im depressed, Im alone, and I cant stand the mere sight of the people around me................ I don't know what to do anymore, let alone cope with disappointment, knowing its me that's prohibiting us to fall pregnant again. Now as I sit here and type with tears stinging my cheeks I can't help but think, my body's failed me, my friends have failed me, now my own mind is too, maybe it's simply time to call it quits?
7 Comments on Time to give up trying?mummy2ava(blue)
- Monday, 11 Jul its immensely difficult. I developed Polycystic ovaries whilst pregnant with my DD, some say it was the gestational diabetites, other say the birth control that followed was the cause. Its difficult to even think about giving up, my DD is nearly 2, my life long dream is to have close age gap's and she's begging for someone to play with. Weve been trying to concieve for a year and a half, but I went 12 months exactly without AF - which proved our hopes useless. I cant handle seeing pregnant women, let alone be close with them. I cant pretend to be happy, Its all a big fat mess! I do have a hobby, for those who are on facebook : http://www.facebook.com/LittleWhispers, for those who are bon blogger: www.littlewhisp.blogstpot.com. But even these ventures are fruitless. Seems everything I touch falls to crap. urnaa
- Sunday, 10 Jul from last month, were officially trying and gave up pullout method, only bc we were using. But i didnt fell pregnant. Even one month, it was very hard. I enjoy sex everyday but after thinking were trying for baby, sex is less enjoyable. seemed i am hurrying and waiting for sex thinking we will lose another fertile day if we dont do. So what i am saying is dont think about get pregnant. Just forget and focus on ur family and baby. Pamper urself something u need. Then just dont forget to bd when u r fertile during month. Dont test before af. This is my advice and i will be doing like this. damnkat
- Sunday, 10 Jul We tried for 5 yrs for my first and it wasn't until we had given upon ttc and just BD'd whenever, 2 mths later, I fell pregnant. I know it is hard, but when you get so down like you are now, you really need to take a step back and stop obsessing over trying to get pregnant and just try to be happy. Maybe take up a new hobby, or do a daily activity with your LO. I have been ttc #3 for over 18 mths now and I am beginning to think we will never have another baby. You are not a failure and try to maybe look at it in another light, nature is just waiting to create another perfect little baby for you, good luck and chin up (((hugs))) XXX A2D
- Sunday, 10 Jul Hi I understand how stressful this whole TTC business can be and all I can say to you is that I have found emmence support and understanding from this site. I am at the point where I can barely watch other people's babies even on tv and I cannot relate to any of my friends or family, as they don't seem to understand either!! We have been trying for almost 8 months for our first, and I never thought this journey would be so tough... Saying that, you did it once, so there is no reason your body can't do it again. We 'tried not to try' this month, as things were seriously getting to me too, and I have to confess, it has really helped our relationship (and therefore the passion too). I am a total control freak, but had to swallow that bitter pill of realisation that this is one thing that is not in my hands. Therefore I have made piece with the situation, and I know IN GODS TIME, NOT MINE... You are still young, give yourself a break and don't be too hard on yourself. Best of luck to you, and remember we are all here for you. May your week be good & you feel better soon. ~*~*~ toomanyyrs
- Sunday, 10 Jul Hun I was there not that long ago. All we did was fight and I was told that the only reason he has sex with me is beacuse he has to. So there were some hurtful things said as we were both feeling the pressure. I took sometime from ttc and focused on us. It sure did help, as we are now both on the same pg again. I think you should just take some time away how ever long you need. Just don't give up hun, never toss your dreams away. mummyteegs
- Sunday, 10 Jul Hey, I have to agree with sunflower, mayb try the layed back approach and try work on your family issues and get back to enjoying life. Mayb take up a new hobby or join a mothers group or class. Take time out for yourself to relax. Hang in there. ((hugs)) sunflower-j
- Sunday, 10 Jul hey hunni. im so sorry that you are at the end of your tether. not an easy way to be at all. maybe take a break for a bit and see how things go from there. you never know it could bring that spark back and you could end up getting a surprise bfp after all. but most importantly take time out for yourself. and then work on your family. take care and i hope things work out for the best xoxoxo