25-6-2009 - Update on my dog and other stuff

My mood while writing this blog: good

We just brought our Layla home about 2 hours ago. She's doing well. Pretty groggy and confused, but doing good. She has on one of those cone collars. While she was in the vet, she had already taken her bandage off her paw... sneaky dog. And they didn't even notice! So they had to redo it when we told them it needed to bandaged again. She just noticed that she has the bandage back on lol. We got her 2 toys and left them in the car for her to see when we got her in. She was happy to see those. They sent the tumor off for biopsy and we should hear back next week. The vet said that 2 other dogs came in this month with the same thing. Weird. But makes me feel that it's probably not malignant if 2 other dogs have the same thing and the vet's never seen it before.

I am at that point in the pregnancy where whenever I feel ANYTHING I'm like "ooooh, is this labor?" Lol! I'm just waiting now. I get somewhat nervous just because my braxton hicks don't hurt. Not at all! All I feel is my uterus tightening. So I am scared, I won't know when I'm in labor unless my water breaks. I guess that sounds silly. But I've never done this and have no idea what labor is! And I tend to second guess myself, so when I do go into labor, will I think it's not labor and be too late for an epidural when I get to the hospital? Oddly, I'm not nervous about the actual delivery. I am so ready for this to be over, I really could care less about delivery. It will be a celebration! I can't wait to be able to bend over and breathe! And tie my shoes! And get up from the couch or car without hesitation. I want to eat SALT and not swell! I want to get this extra weight off! I'm having a problem eating healthy now. I just think... can this burger really cause any more damage than what is already done? haha! But when I try to stop eating out, my mom or dad calls and wants to have lunch. And all I can think is... "I better eat out now while I can." I just want my body back to normal.

I am getting a little put off by the breastfeeding thing. I had thought about breastfeeding, but I finally made my decision not to do it. The way I feel, is that it's my personal decision and really nobody has the RIGHT to make me feel bad about it! I am so tired of people asking me if I'm going to breastfeed and when I say no, I'm tired of being asked "why?" I mean, "because I don't want to." Then they all go through the speech of how good it is for the baby. Yes, I know. I mean, I am so happy that there are mothers out there who WANT to breastfeed. I'm just not one of those mothers. I do not come from a family of breastfeeding and neither does my husband. We all turned out fine. Both of us had pretty strong immune systems. And formula has come a very long way since we were babies. I won't go into detail of the reasons I don't want to breastfeed. But I wish people would just accept it for what it is. It really hurts when someone you are close to tries to change your mind about breastfeeding. I'm not going to about asking why someone else IS breastfeeding, so I don't expect anyone to ask me why I'm not going to.

Of that bandwagon, I cannot believe that Michael Jackson is dead! It's so weird when someone famous dies. It just seems like it's taken for granted that they will always be around in the spotlight. Mike and I just got home and turned on the tv and heard. I'm shocked. I was never a big fan, but I mean, he's Michael Jackson! And Ferrah... both in the same day. What a sad day.

Well, I hope everyone is well.