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21-7-2009 - Decided on doing it alone

My mood while writing this blog: sad, relieved

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After doing some thinking, I decided to not even bother with my childs father. No more phone calls, no more texts, no more emails, no nothing. I gave him him the web address to my profile here on iampregnant. Its up to him to check it if he wants to know about his daughter. Why should I have to damn near beg a grown ass man to do what he is supposed to? Why put myself through the stress? I told him I am completely done, as I have been the past few weeks.. I felt I needed him because I feel every little girl needs a father but if he can't be here now while I'm just carrying her, then I know he wont be here later on in her life.. It will be hard for me to not rush and call everytime she does something cool, or tell him how big I'm getting, or when I go into labor. But I have done a lot on my own and I will do what I need to for me and mine. If he does ever want to be part in her life he has 4 months to really turn around.. Other than that I'm not begging its his turn to beg and if he doesn't so be it, I'm letting go today.. Like another woman said to me, a time will come when another man will be loving me and my daughter.. The other hard part of this is telling my family, I have yet to tell them that he doesn't do anything or that he never even plans to come to NY to see us, so it will be hard to tell them that.. They will be disaoppointed in me. but it is what it is, and I couldn't be happier to be a mother.. but thats all thanks for listening ladies..

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12 Comments on Decided on doing it alone


mals313 - Saturday, 22 Aug
I came across your prfile while looking at pics of baby bumps. You are strong and beautiful! Although Im not in the same boat, I can surely empathasize and will be here anytime you need to chat! God bless you and your beautiful baby to be. You are going to be just fine :) xoxo

mamax2 - Sunday, 26 Jul
That is brave of you ;) My husband has completely abandoned me now that I'm pregnant with our second child-I wasted so much of my time feeling hurt and betrayed when he's NOT that important.
I've seen and learned for myself, that unless you have a SUPPORTIVE partner, you are so much better off raising your child alone. Anyone you have to cry, fight with or beg to be around is just taking away from what you need to give your baby-stability and unconditional love. I hope your daughter's father does realize what he has and takes care of his responsibility but if not, you will be a great mother regardless-he'll only be missing out.

frosty - Thursday, 23 Jul
Well done hun, you've made up your own decision of what is best for you and your child and i think you are so strong.
You will benefit from this one day, where as the father will loose out. The bond between a mother and her child, no one can come between that.
Take care and keep us up dated xxs

Mrz.Spencer06 - Wednesday, 22 Jul
The only thing you can do hun is be a mother to your daughter like you said. And if its ment for you to have someone in your life. He will come. I went thru the same back n forth bull with my sons father and when i was 4 months preg with him i met this guy who now two years later is my fiance and the father of my daughter. He loves and takes care of my son like his own and or fam is complete. Jus hang in there and no matter what focus on you and that little girl you will be having soon.

lovemybump3 - Wednesday, 22 Jul
Girl you are so strong and I hope your daughter, Angel takes after you. Your family will not be disappointed in you, but in him and probably just worried about the road you are on without the father...but thats not your fault at all. Its his loss plenty of women raise children all by themselves, I bet you will be supported by friends and family. The love that appears when that little girl will arrive will blow everyones mind....it happens so suddenly. Hang in there chica, you are already a wonderful mother.

SuperHeroMom - Tuesday, 21 Jul
It doesn't matter what your family will think or say. You have to do what is best for you and your unborn child. If he really wants to be in his childs life then he will do so. There is no need to strees you and your baby out on him. I feel that you are making a smart decision. He will soon realize that he is the one who is missing out. Women are strong. I believe that you can do anything you put your mind to!

sarah grogan - Tuesday, 21 Jul
sweet heart we are both in the same boat.. its so hard... but iv decided the same.. after i contacted him about the baby first kicks and got no reply i got so down and upset it really hurt the face he didnt respond.. but new start now more.. i actually few weeks ago met a really nice guy who knows i am pregnant and still is in contact with me (we are only chatting etc but still is nice especially when he knows the situation) and he is only back from holidays and texted me straight away it just proved to me that i can still be happy and there is always somebody else around the corner. i kinda have a date with him saturday night which im really excited about!! it will be a distraction at least...anyway to the point we will be fine.. we will be great parents and love our kids 100% and have every memory of our kids growing up and first words while there father have nothing and nothing to show others of there kids... :)
you will be fine and im here to chat!!

newmommyx2 - Tuesday, 21 Jul
wow im sitting here at work and you almost had me crying! i just told my childs father the same thing that i can do this whole back and forth when he feels like it thing. i just see so much of me in you. im glad you are being so strong!!! i need to find that in myself also. i wish you all the best that you deserve!!! :)

masonnickey - Tuesday, 21 Jul
Girl you know I'm here for you and babygirl!

demi071 - Tuesday, 21 Jul
Right now its time that you just focus on you and your little girl ,and you're doing just that. Keep your head up and remember God always makes a way for us. You aren't alone with this pregnancy you have all of us!

chiquita - Tuesday, 21 Jul
you're doing what's best for your baby and yourself... the less stress, the happier a mommy and baby... everything happens for a reason, and don't worry, i'm sure there are many ppl who are willing to help you out. Things happen for a reason, and this may be a blessing in disguise. Trust in the man above. Honestly, i think your family will be understanding. they may take it to heart first, but they will grow to understand. keep the faith chick!

gwendalyne - Tuesday, 21 Jul
I'm sorry that he's being a jerk...but I do pray that God will continue to give you the strength on your journey...I was alone w/my daughter during my pregnancy...her dad did eventually come into her life and he has been a wonderful father to her...but God blessed me w/a hubby that loves me and my daughter and now our family is complete...He can do the same for you!