| nich-vegas-mommy | |
 | Age: 27 Country: US Province/region: Kentucky City: Nicholasville Partner: Perfect Husband Children: Yes, 2 Pregnant: Not anymore Occupation: it's mind-numbing :) |
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I lost my baby. Miscarriage this morning at 2:30. I am devestated. This is by far the worst day ever for me. Most of you know I started spotting Wednesday, but I saw the heartbeat Wednesday evening (140 bpm) and the growth was 7 weeks exactly. I saw the heartbeat again Friday (143 bpm) and the growth was perfect, 7 weeks 2 days. But, the spotting never stopped. Would start out brown, go to red. Every day. I had lower back pain when I went to bed Saturday night, woke up at 1:30 am because I felt wet like I had started my period. I went to the bathroom to pee, and sure enough, blood. Passed a clot. Texted my husband and told him I probably needed to go to the ER again in the morning. Well, he got home from work and I came out of the bedroom a little after 2 because my back was hurting. I decided to go ahead and go to the ER, ,so I went to pee before I left and that is when I passed my baby, still in it's little sack. It was so hard to see that. I started crying and my husband started crying, it was just awful. I went on to the ER and brought the little baby with me to give to Pathology to see if they could determine a cause. It's just devestating to know that I saw my little baby's heartbeat - TWICE - and yet just a day later my baby is gone. I can't help but wonder - what did I do? Why me? It's the worst feeling ever. I wanted this baby so much, I already loved my baby - and now my baby is gone. I will never forget seeing my little baby like that - it's going to haunt my private thoughts. I feel so empty, and it breaks my heart to know that instead of my belly growing with my little baby, I will just be sitting here, not pregnant. God how hard it is to adjust to being pregnant yesterday, and not pregnant today - with no baby to show for it. Worse, my husband's best friend and his wife are pregnant and they are just a few weeks ahead of where we were, so it's going to be very hard to still be happy for them when my baby should be here too. I hate feeling like that, but I can't help it. Why did MY baby have to die? If I get pregnant again, an early ultrasound doesn't mean crap, because obviously even if you hear a great heartbeat, it doesn't matter. I just feel like I got cheated. I didn't deserve this. Everything happens for a reason, but why did it happen to me. Why my baby. My heart is just broken.
14 Comments on Miscarriage
B3thy - Wednesday, 3 Mar
I am soooo sorry for your loss! losing a baby is the hardest thing I ever experienced and it took me a long time to come to terms with it. you will never stop being sad or missing your baby. please take care hun and I am always here if you need to talk. your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. XOXO
DiandClover - Monday, 1 Mar
((HUG)) It breaks my heart every time I hear of another woman (and family) having to endure this cruel pain. You are in my thoughts and prayers sweetie, and here if you want to chat.
kricket - Monday, 1 Mar
So, so sorry. Ive had 2 really close friends miscarry in the last 3 months and now you! I know its a hard pill to swallow, you should know its nothing you did, and its nothing you could prevent, God has a way of taking the weak ones and this pregnancy just wasnt meant to be. I know it will happen for you:) Hugs and Kisses to you and your family.
babyhope2 - Monday, 1 Mar
So sorr to hear.. my heart goes out to you and your family
heidismummy - Monday, 1 Mar
i am so sorry for your loss. i have been through it twice and i know many other women that have been through miscarriages also. its a kind of grief that is difficult to come to terms with but you will find your own way of coping with it in time. i asked myself all the same questions as you and then i had to try and be positive and think 'ive already got a beautiful child, so many women dont ever get the chance to experience even just the one child' and whenever i think life treats me bad, i just think about how there are always people in a lot worse situations than me, i was devastated when i went through both miscarriages but then i thought if it didnt happen to me it would have happened to another poor woman dealing with the pain and grief of it. we always like to think and secretly hope that we will never get tested like this but unfortunately mother nature and life's plan puts us through these experiences. i hope you can gain comfort through your partner and your loved ones and just try to think of the good things, especially of the child you already have.
sarahmariebaillie - Monday, 1 Mar
hey huni so sorry 4 ur loss.it is one of the hardest things in life a woman can go through iv been ther 3 times,twice at 4 weeks and 1ce at 13weeks and everything u are feeling at the moment is normal cheated,upset,lost,shock it is so so hard,it does get easier tho,trust me u will find the light at the end of the tunnel.the pain will always be ther but it gets easier to live with.i hope uj will be ok sweet and if u ever want to talk just message me.xxx
vodka82 - Sunday, 28 Feb
hunny im so sorry for youx x hugs, kisses x
lovingmylilgirl - Sunday, 28 Feb
honey I am so sorry for your loss. That breaks my heart I know you were excited. God had a plan for you. I pray for your strengh to get through this and healing. I'm here if you want to talk.
parkersmommy1 - Sunday, 28 Feb
Lisa, I'm so sorry for your loss.I sent you a message on facebook.
mfbrown - Sunday, 28 Feb
:0( I am so sorry. That breaks my heart for you :0( Many hugs and thoughts for your family.
Tinab1 - Sunday, 28 Feb
I am so very very sorry to hear your news, I completely understand how you are feeling, it is totally normal to feel angry, cheated etc. I had 2 miscarriages a little over 5 months apart, it was devastating and I thought I would never recover, but I did!!!Give yourself time to grieve and although it does't seem possible now, it actually will get easier and you will come to terms with what has happened, although you will never forget!! Take care & my thoughts are with you.P.S If you need to talk, feel free to drop me a line.
ama-llama - Sunday, 28 Feb
I am so sorry Lisa. Please accept my condolences. You are in my thoughts.
benjamins-mama - Sunday, 28 Feb
I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I know there are no words to comfort you but just thought I'd let you know my thoughts are with you and your family.
ChloeandTwinsmom - Sunday, 28 Feb
aww honey im so sorryhow upsetting you are :( makes me crysending big hugs and kisses to you xxxxx
| 28-2-2010 - Miscarriage |  My mood while writing this blog:numb |
I lost my baby. Miscarriage this morning at 2:30. I am devestated. This is by far the worst day ever for me. Most of you know I started spotting Wednesday, but I saw the heartbeat Wednesday evening (140 bpm) and the growth was 7 weeks exactly. I saw the heartbeat again Friday (143 bpm) and the growth was perfect, 7 weeks 2 days. But, the spotting never stopped. Would start out brown, go to red. Every day. I had lower back pain when I went to bed Saturday night, woke up at 1:30 am because I felt wet like I had started my period. I went to the bathroom to pee, and sure enough, blood. Passed a clot. Texted my husband and told him I probably needed to go to the ER again in the morning. Well, he got home from work and I came out of the bedroom a little after 2 because my back was hurting. I decided to go ahead and go to the ER, ,so I went to pee before I left and that is when I passed my baby, still in it's little sack. It was so hard to see that. I started crying and my husband started crying, it was just awful. I went on to the ER and brought the little baby with me to give to Pathology to see if they could determine a cause. It's just devestating to know that I saw my little baby's heartbeat - TWICE - and yet just a day later my baby is gone. I can't help but wonder - what did I do? Why me? It's the worst feeling ever. I wanted this baby so much, I already loved my baby - and now my baby is gone. I will never forget seeing my little baby like that - it's going to haunt my private thoughts. I feel so empty, and it breaks my heart to know that instead of my belly growing with my little baby, I will just be sitting here, not pregnant. God how hard it is to adjust to being pregnant yesterday, and not pregnant today - with no baby to show for it. Worse, my husband's best friend and his wife are pregnant and they are just a few weeks ahead of where we were, so it's going to be very hard to still be happy for them when my baby should be here too. I hate feeling like that, but I can't help it. Why did MY baby have to die? If I get pregnant again, an early ultrasound doesn't mean crap, because obviously even if you hear a great heartbeat, it doesn't matter. I just feel like I got cheated. I didn't deserve this. Everything happens for a reason, but why did it happen to me. Why my baby. My heart is just broken.
14 Comments on Miscarriage
B3thy - Wednesday, 3 Mar
I am soooo sorry for your loss! losing a baby is the hardest thing I ever experienced and it took me a long time to come to terms with it. you will never stop being sad or missing your baby. please take care hun and I am always here if you need to talk. your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. XOXO
DiandClover - Monday, 1 Mar
((HUG)) It breaks my heart every time I hear of another woman (and family) having to endure this cruel pain. You are in my thoughts and prayers sweetie, and here if you want to chat.
kricket - Monday, 1 Mar
So, so sorry. Ive had 2 really close friends miscarry in the last 3 months and now you! I know its a hard pill to swallow, you should know its nothing you did, and its nothing you could prevent, God has a way of taking the weak ones and this pregnancy just wasnt meant to be. I know it will happen for you:) Hugs and Kisses to you and your family.
babyhope2 - Monday, 1 Mar
So sorr to hear.. my heart goes out to you and your family
heidismummy - Monday, 1 Mar
i am so sorry for your loss. i have been through it twice and i know many other women that have been through miscarriages also. its a kind of grief that is difficult to come to terms with but you will find your own way of coping with it in time. i asked myself all the same questions as you and then i had to try and be positive and think 'ive already got a beautiful child, so many women dont ever get the chance to experience even just the one child' and whenever i think life treats me bad, i just think about how there are always people in a lot worse situations than me, i was devastated when i went through both miscarriages but then i thought if it didnt happen to me it would have happened to another poor woman dealing with the pain and grief of it. we always like to think and secretly hope that we will never get tested like this but unfortunately mother nature and life's plan puts us through these experiences. i hope you can gain comfort through your partner and your loved ones and just try to think of the good things, especially of the child you already have.
sarahmariebaillie - Monday, 1 Mar
hey huni so sorry 4 ur loss.it is one of the hardest things in life a woman can go through iv been ther 3 times,twice at 4 weeks and 1ce at 13weeks and everything u are feeling at the moment is normal cheated,upset,lost,shock it is so so hard,it does get easier tho,trust me u will find the light at the end of the tunnel.the pain will always be ther but it gets easier to live with.i hope uj will be ok sweet and if u ever want to talk just message me.xxx
vodka82 - Sunday, 28 Feb
hunny im so sorry for youx x hugs, kisses x
lovingmylilgirl - Sunday, 28 Feb
honey I am so sorry for your loss. That breaks my heart I know you were excited. God had a plan for you. I pray for your strengh to get through this and healing. I'm here if you want to talk.
parkersmommy1 - Sunday, 28 Feb
Lisa, I'm so sorry for your loss.I sent you a message on facebook.
mfbrown - Sunday, 28 Feb
:0( I am so sorry. That breaks my heart for you :0( Many hugs and thoughts for your family.
Tinab1 - Sunday, 28 Feb
I am so very very sorry to hear your news, I completely understand how you are feeling, it is totally normal to feel angry, cheated etc. I had 2 miscarriages a little over 5 months apart, it was devastating and I thought I would never recover, but I did!!!Give yourself time to grieve and although it does't seem possible now, it actually will get easier and you will come to terms with what has happened, although you will never forget!! Take care & my thoughts are with you.P.S If you need to talk, feel free to drop me a line.
ama-llama - Sunday, 28 Feb
I am so sorry Lisa. Please accept my condolences. You are in my thoughts.
benjamins-mama - Sunday, 28 Feb
I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I know there are no words to comfort you but just thought I'd let you know my thoughts are with you and your family.
ChloeandTwinsmom - Sunday, 28 Feb
aww honey im so sorryhow upsetting you are :( makes me crysending big hugs and kisses to you xxxxx
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14-4-2008 - Morning sickness make for a crappy attitude!
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09-4-2008 - Everyday Preggo
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07-4-2008 - Bellybutton has left the building
03-4-2008 - oh the hormones! they are taking over!
02-4-2008 - Another day in the preggo life
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