This brings me back to my current situation.
I say to everyone that it doesnt matter what the results are as I wont terminate but my husband is desperate for DEFINITIVE answers (and eventually I am too). I relent to the CVS after assurances from the doctor that he was VERY experienced and never lost a healthy baby to miscarraige. (So there goes my number 2.) CVS results come back (we got the 2 day turn around) and it is positive for Down Syndrome. Re-devastation. I am still in denial and ask for another U/S in 2 weeks, hoping that the initial CVS is wrong and we will have a clearer picture with baby.

2 week result is confirmed and discover on U/S severe heart defect. My husband wants to terminate. We decide we want to know the sex of the baby. I thought that knowing the sex would help in my decision - if a girl , we already have a girl (Plus FIVE other children from previous marraiges) then as sad as it seems, it may influence me??? (There goes number 4.) You may ask why? A DS boy would not be compared to (as much) by us or anyone else for that matter to my wonderfully perfect and cheeky 2 yr old little girl. How sad to have my husband NOT look at our baby girl with DS the same way he looks at and adores our daughter.

I have anguished over this decision for the last 6 weeks. I have researched as much information as I possibly could from DS sites, abortion procedures, heart defects and possible treatments to genetics, forums with people who have already experienced such tormenting decisions and more. The end result is that I (and IT IS ME as the end decision definately rests with me given that this baby is inside MY body) have decided that I cannot just take my core beliefs into account here. I have to think of my husband and our relationship (2nd marraiges are not easy), my other 6 children and the impact it will have on our already chaotic life. How will it affect us and them individually??? And not the least how it will affect THIS child - will the daughter I carry inside me have a terrible existence with potentially severe mental retardation and major health problems? Spending many days and or weeks in hospital? Will her life end early? Only to have known pain and suffering? There is no way of knowing how mild OR SEVERE. It is the unknown which I have found the hardest to come to terms with. Nonetheless I have made my decision. Taking everything into account , I have decided to terminate. (There goes number 1.) I

will be induced early this coming week to deliver my child who of course is certain to die either inutero or soon after birth. It is not an easy decision to come to and either way I know there will be guilt and regret. It is the best of two very bad situations FOR US. I know I love this baby with all my heart , for that there is no doubt and she was certainly a planned and very wanted child but sadly I have still come to the decision to end her life. (number 3. out the window)
I am now deciding on funeral arrangements instead of nursery colours. So very, very, very sad.
It just goes to show you that until YOU are in the exact same position, when it comes down to it you dont REALLY know what YOU will do until YOU are faced with these tormenting decisions YOURSELF.
Keep an open mind when you judge people for the decisions they make. I empathise with all of you who are in that decision making position right now. Know that (eventually) what is right for YOU will come to you, just give yourself some time.

Hugs to ALL of you.

I wish all of you, that are able to, have happy healthy pregnancies and who knows, maybe some time soon I too will be back here with a happy healhy pregnancy.