23-11-2008 - I'm strong, but I'm doing this alone

My mood while writing this blog: Ok

This is my 3rd child and I'm doing this one solo....

Some are going to read this like oh, poor her and then others are going to relate. But they'll never say it out loud....

Sometimes you think that you have found "THE ONE" and then all hell breaks loose. Let me give you a little background to what I'm talking about:

Girl meets guy, girl never brought guys around her other kids because as a parent to a teenager you wanted to show him how a lady should be treated. But there was something special about this guy. So on Superbowl Sunday 2008, mom let guy come over. Guy and girls son hit it off, guy and girls daughter hit it off too... (ok let me stop talking the guy/girl stuff it confuses me! LOL)

So things go good between us, trips, dinners, movies, spending time together getting to know each other and stuff, ya know, the good things. Well, on my birthday he was out of town and I was with my friends, didn't think anything about it, until I didn't hear from him for 3 days!!! So this is what happened, he went to Texas and got into an arguement with his ex and she stabbed him, but because she called the cops and told them that he choked her (don't know if it happened or not, I don't think it did, but hey, stranger things have happened) said that she wanted to press charges and when they asked him if he wanted to press charges against her for stabbing him he said no....

so I forgive him for that, tell him that I'm going to give him some time to work on his self, he had alot going on and I didn't really want to be involved.

Fast foward a couple of months, he and I were still talking as friends..nothing more, and he tells me that he and his ex in Texas are going to work it out...LMAO!!! Are you serious? She tried to kill you! Oh well, better her than me....then something happened, and they were off again, he realized that she was crazy....(I could have saved him the trouble and told him that)

Fast foward a couple of more months, my mother passed and I really needed a friend and he was there, no questions asked, just there...In my moment of grieving, I gave in and wham bam, I'm having a baby!!! I'm happy, cause everything happens for a reason. But here's the next kicker (I know, you're saying, what else could happen?) he tells me that it isn't his and that now he's going back to his son's mother in Philly...LMAO again, cause this is the same woman who didn't let you see your son for 5 years until this past March! His reasoning, she got into a fight with her boyfriend (he thought that it was her husband) and put him out, so he realized that he still loved her and this was the line that had me on the floor dying of laughter....HER NAME IS TATTOOED ON MY ARM!!

What have I gotten myself into....LOL

Again I say, I know that some are going to say, oh poor her, really, I'm not looking for a pity party, I just need to vent this and I guess I'm looking for validation that I'm not crazy and me doing this on my own is what is best for my child/children....