29-8-2008 - Waiting SUCKS!! LOL

My mood while writing this blog: anxious

Well ladies I don't know how lucky I am, but we bd right before I ovulated!(twice)lol... I've been trying to keep my mind busy though and not think about it... I even had a margarita yesterday. But when I went home I felt really sick and I'm a drinker sooo maybe I shouldn't drink anything else and see if AF comes around and if it does I'm buying a bottle and drowning myself in it! lol I have been getting crazy heartburn and some creamy cm. I'm always tired so that can't count as a symptom... I have been moody lately, but then again not sure if it's just pms or some inner activity going on! LOL... I really hope I am. I know we all want that BFP!!!

I feel really bad also, bc my sister's bf who's like a sister to us is pregnant and didn't really want to be (at first) ... well I have really distance myself from her and I know that is just horrible to say and to do, but I'm just soooo emotional that I don't want to make her feel bad about being pregnant. She txd me the other day to see if I was ok and I just responded yea just really busy... is that wrong for me to distance myself?? I'm happy for her, but at the same time I have to admit that I'm jealous... I'm the one that has been trying and want this soooo badly and she didn't even try and wham... she's preggo. I feel really selfish right now and that is terrible... am I a bad person for feeling this way? Please be honest!!