27-10-2008 - catching up...

My mood while writing this blog: ok but little moody...

HI LADIES!!!!!!! I truly missed you all and think about allllll of you often! I just been taking a little break and reading up on you guys and where everyone is at right now! In the meantime I have had my ups and downs... naturally! =( ... =) that's me on a daily basis!

Ok so let's see where to start... I took off a few days of work last week since Thursday would have been my due date for Ayden and met up with my fiance in Vegas. He's out there looking for a career change and honestly at first I was like hell no! You go have a nice life and I will find a new sperm donor if you are unwilling!! lol... emotional ya think?!? lol Well out there we had a nice time (would have been nicer if he would be more in the picture mode but hey... I'll deal with his lack of photos) I even went so far and called Nevada DOE to find out what I need to do to become certified to teach there... and guess what!?! I can easily transfer bc of my certification here! yippeee!!!

BUT I'm not going until HE is fully employed! =) AND... that he would be willing to ttc again once I'm out there! I broke it down to him and told him flat out... don't waste my time if 2-3 months down the line you don't want to try bc I can stay where I am and he can go where ever he wants to... I said at least tell me you'll think about it and not just tell me NO! and he said ok! soooo hopefully this means I don't have to kick his ass! lol

So my due date I actually didn't even cry I think everyone tried to keep me really busy, but it really hit me hard on Friday and throughout the weekend. I just started to cry like crazy last night bc I was thinking how different my life would have been if I never mc! I would be losing night's sleep over a cute sweet smelling little baby boy of mine and instead I smell my dog's stinky STINKY farts!! (I have to cheer myself up if you noticed!... I'm amused by my own words... how sad! LOL) But then I snap out of it and say... it WILL happen again!

Thanks to the advice of a beautiful woman on here... told me to read the secret... I know sooo many people told me to read it but I never went so far to buy it. Well I had a ton of time to spare at the airport and I bought it! It's a beautiful way of re-organizing your thoughts. NO MORE NEGATIVITY!!! which by the way is EXtremely hard to do! but it takes time and now everytime I feel like I'm going to complain... I stop myself and soon enough it will become habit!

Ok... I know this is the never ending blog soooo real quick: Today I went for my follow up after the surgery and everything looks great she said. She wants me to lose weight (no shit) oops sorry! LOL... continue taking my prenatals and folic acid and she said she thinks I will be able to get pregnant fast again! Which is nice to hear! I also noticed today I have that wonderful cm!!! lol... the one right before ovulation so my body is back in normal function mode! which is great to know already!!!

Ok my poor stomach is GRowlINg!! I'm staaarving ... hmmm come to think about it!?!... I haven't had anything to eat allll day! Teachers don't always get that luxury! LOL... Ok sooo now I caught all of you up! I'm alive... well sometimes! ;) and I am hanging in there and missed all of you sooo much! Thank you all for your support you guys are the greatest! Oh crap... remind me to tell you all the horrible texting fight I had with someone that I barely like... uhhh I don't like. That'll be later! sorry for the rambling! =O xoxo