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| 03-11-2008 - Nov 1st 2008-Our lost baby |
My mood while writing this blog: incredibly sad |
We just lost our baby on Saturday Nov 1st, 2008. I found out mid
September that we were expecting, and we were so excited. I didn't even
think for a second that we would lose her. I've had a miscarriage
before, but it was a few years ago, and we just had a healthy baby boy
last year. We were excited that our babies would be 18 months apart and
would hopefully be close friends. I did what I knew I shouldn't do...I
started decorating the nursery. It was last friday that I bought the
matching penguins for "her" nursery I was decorating in black and
white. On friday night I started to bleed, but I wasn't worried because
I convinced myself it was implantation bleeding. On Saturday when I
woke up the bleeding was still there, but still dark brown. I took a
nap, and when I awoke, I knew it was over. The cramping began and the
blood turned red. I know the exact moment she left my body and it broke
my heart. The tears began and I just couldn't stop. The cramping and
bleeding continued most of the day Sunday, than the pain started to
subside. I went in today and had an ultrasound to confirm what I
already knew to be the truth. My little girl was gone and nothing I
could do would bring her back. The tears started again and seem to be
sticking around. I try and look at my son and think about how happy he
has made us and it helps...but I will always miss her and what our
lives could have all been together. I don't know why this happened, I
can only hope that we are lucky enough to have another baby in a few
months. I so desperately want my son to have the experience of a
sibling since I know how special that is. Now I'm trying to heal, focus
on my family and my job and the future. But there are moments I just don't know how I can
manage everything with all the tears that seem to come in waves.
5 Comments on Nov 1st 2008-Our lost babyJessieandDerek -
Tuesday, 4 Nov I'm sooo sorry hun!!! You'll be in my prayers!! mague30 -
Tuesday, 4 Nov I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I know how hard it is. If I can be of any help please feel free to e-mail me. Take care of yourself and cry when ever you feel like crying. huggs -
Tuesday, 4 Nov I'm so so sorry to hear about the loss of your baby girl. Please hang in there and keep the faith.
XOXO,
Amrita RainbowRach -
Tuesday, 4 Nov I am very sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself and your family. I am here if you want to chat. Rach x tassy -
Tuesday, 4 Nov i am soo sorry for your loss.. let the tears flow, you need your time to grieve.. its perfectly ok to cry cos the pain is yours and it wil always stay.. Loosing a baby, having a miscarriage is the worst experience a lady can go through... I hope with time you feel ok.. feel blessed and thankful for your son and family.. i'll be praying for you.. take care