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| 09-11-2009 - A little overwhelmed |
My mood while writing this blog: Blah |
Hi Ladies hope you and your babas are all well.
I have been feeling a little overwhelmed every now and again with being a new momma, and I am just wondering if any of you guys have ever felt the same????
I kinda feel like such a bad momma when I get stressed and overwhelmed.
As some of you may or may not know I lost my wonderful mother to pancreatic cancer 4 years ago and I have not really dealt with the loss.Since having Ava the feelings that I had shoved to the back of my mind have started to re-appear. I miss my mam soooooooooooooooo much, not only was she the best mother in the world she was my best friend, I could talk to her about anything...and now I feel so lost. There are so many things I wish I could talk to her about and ask her and it hurts so much that I cant. She was only 57 years old, it is so unfair.
All my friends that have babies can drop them to their mom for an hour if they need a little break or call their moms if they have a question and I feel soooooooo jealous that I dont have that. My beautiful mother was robbed of so much, she was so full of life and always smiling and it is so unfair that she was taken from us. My daughter has been robbed of the most wonderful nana a child could ever wish for.
My dad is so good and he does try his hardest but it is not the same, He absolutely adores his little princess Ava and I feel so bad for feeling that his efforts are just not enough. My life has got a big gaping hole in it. I live a bit of a distance from my family and friends and I feel very isolated, lost and alone.....especially if I am having a hard day with Ava or need someone to talk to.
I am sorry for the rant but I really needed to vent, and hopefully not feel as alone.
Would really like to hear if any of you feel overwhelmed with motherhood and find it hard????
Thanks soooooo much for listening girlies. Love you all xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
4 Comments on A little overwhelmedNikki1606 -
Monday, 9 Nov Although we dont know each other, I can totally relate to what you are going through! My Mom passed away 6 years ago from Lung Cancer. I had a really hard time dealing with it and really regret not saying more to her before she passed.. I didnt visit her enough in the hospital and really regret that. After she passed I kinda questioned if she really loved me or not. After having my son, I know that she could not have possibly NOT loved me because I love my son more than anything and cannot even imagine NOT loving him. Anyways, Im rambling a little bit (lol) but I can totally relate to what you are going through. I was very young when she passed (14) and didnt really deal with it much either until my son came too. Hope you feel better and know that she is always with you and watching you and how great of a mother you are to your little girl! :) xoPS. My Mom was Irish too.. She was from Galway though! LeLe0307 -
Monday, 9 Nov I am so sorry about your loss! I sort of know how you feel! I still have my mother... but I don't. Her and I have a horrible relationship... and I too wish that I could do all the things you mentioned.. It does make you feel very alone, isolated, overwhelmed and extremely sad! I think about this every day!!! You were robbed! I hate that for you! Some days are just going to be harder than the others... but the good days get us through. Just know you have amazing friends here and can vent about anything! No judgement passed!!! : ) : ) : ) I hope your day gets better!! mfbrown -
Monday, 9 Nov During my pregnancy and after I have felt stronger needs to be closer to my mom too. Was on the phone with her everyday I think. I also have a little overwhelmed having my first born. For me though that's kicked in a little later like when Noelle was around 5 months old or so it started feeling a little more stressful. What gets me through some days is knowing that its just a 'stage' and that some of it will get better much sooner than later. if you ever need someone to talk to I'm always around :0) jterrill08 -
Monday, 9 Nov Hey hon, I'm so sorry for your loss. I couldn't imagine losing my mom. I wish I could give you a big hug. I have hard days too. You are not alone on that one. My husband has been letting me know lately that he doesn't want anymore children. Its heartbreaking news to me because before we got married, we both wanted 2 kids and because he wants to be able to retire early and not worry about money all the time, he only wants the one child. So yesterday I was really depressed about it. He said if things change financially then his feelings might change. But with this economy, I don't see that happening anytime soon. Its just very hard for me to hear. I couldn't imagine Laya growing up without a brother or sister to play with and love. To me, its just selfish. And of course, his mother is staying with us this week (drives me crazy cause she invites her friends to stay with her for a couple of days without asking), and she completely agrees with everything that comes out of his mouth. So its like everyone is against what I have to say in my own home. Meanwhile I have to cater to them and be a maid. Its so frustrating.... Girl, we just need a good cry to get it out of our systems. Just know you're in my thoughts. You will see your mother again. I have faith in that.