23-1-2009 - still nothing....

My mood while writing this blog: blah

Well.. AF is two days late, and still nothing. My husband made me take another test last night- and i looked at that thing for what seemed like forever!!! and, nothing. i swore i saw a faint spot, where the 'positive' line would be- but nothing was there. My body is playing crazy tricks on me. I dont know if its all in my head because i want to be pregnant, or maybe im just losing my mind!! haha which i feel like i am. I feel like in my heart- this isnt our month.. and thats fine- i know it will happen when it happens. When we got pregnant with our son, it just happened, we werent even trying- and now that 2 months TTC has come and gone- i didnt know it would take so much planning and preparing! I did read that coming off Birth control- could mess your cycle up- but i was only on it for 11 months.. so i dont know. when i was on the pill i got AF every 31 days. last month- my first full month off the pill AF came 4 days late- so i counted from then...... and stilll nada.

Usually around the time im getting AF, i get cramps and feel severly bloated-- while i have mild cramping- its nothing compared to what i usually get. My bb's are a little sore, like someone grabbed them and twisted REALLY hard. when i was pregnant with my son i had no symptoms at all.. other than headaches that came later on. i didnt even find out with him, til i was 6 wks along. i dont know... maybe my dates were off when i counted?... maybe i dont have enough HGC in my body yet to test positive. i also read ( which i do alot of.... trying to diagnos myself) that some woman dont even show enough until a week or two after their expected period. im just rambling- and i know it will happen when it happens--- but im getting impatient- For now, im going with not pregnant, and seeing what happens.

Amber