17-4-2009 - havent wrote in awhile...

My mood while writing this blog: content

hello ladies =o)

i hope everyone has been wonderful!! just figured id write a little update, since i havent written in awhile. ive been doing great- ive moved on as much as i think i can after my miscarriage. i will never forget that little baby, but i am at peace with everything that happened. my son is getting bigger every single day. i feel like he just isnt a baby anymore and everytime i look at him i can see such a little man!! its so great and so so sad at the same time. my husband and i were looking through his baby pictures the other night and we got so sad that time has gone by so fast. you always hear people tell you that when you have a baby, but you never realize just how fast it really does go by.

i still havent gotten my period. i know it hasnt been that long, but it feels like FOREVER!!! as most of you know, i started spotting brown on march 3rd, passed the baby on the 10th and completely stopped bleeding on march 17th. i swore 2 weeks after i was done bleeding, i ovulated. it felt like it normally does, i had ewcm and i was crampy... and then nothing. so, i figured it was just my body out of whack and i ignored it... then this week.. same thing happens again. ive been crampy for the last few days, i have some... if any ewcm... not as much as usual-- and last night i swore i felt myself ovulate. im beginning to think its all in my head! =o) its just getting alittle frustrating! i check each time i go to the bathroom if theres any blood- i feel like that paranoid pregnant person i was a few months ago again!

Hopefully, AF will make her appearance soon so Charlie and i can try for another little baby. i did have a "relapse" yesterday though, when i signed onto my facebook and a girl i went to school with announced she was 12 1/2 weeks pregnant. i got really sad and felt sorry for myself, because i would have been a month ahead of her. it took me most of the day to not think of it anymore, and stop being upset. its not her fault, or mine... for what happened to my little one

have a fantastic day ladies! im taking my little man to the boardwalk today to run around.. he "ran" a half mile yesterday... and took the best nap afterwards! =o)

always,

Amber