18-6-2009 - BIG FAT.....

My mood while writing this blog: oh my god!

POSITIVE...

i cant even believe it. really, i cant. ive been putting off testing all week- because i was so scared of it being negative again. i was planning on waiting til fathers day on sunday to test... but i just spent an hour talking to my SIL- about her trying to have a baby.. and i found out today one of my friends is due in december, and another might be pregnant... so i just couldnt wait anymore. so i peed on the stick, and sat on the bathroom floor waiting the results. and as i sat there balling my eyes out- there it was, the faintest pink line... im unsure of when i ovulated this month.. i believe it was around the 5th or 6th... so im about 11-12 dpo... im so scared that the line isnt there and that im seeing things... but i think its definetly there. my son is sleeping right now- and i cant run to the store to get a digital test- i need to see the words pregnant to be completely convinced. i dont know if i should call my husband and tell him, or wait til fathers day which is 3 days away!!!! IF.. and thats a big if... we are indeed pregnant- im going to try to keep it hush hush until i know everything is ok. when i had my m/c in march- it completely devestated me, and having to tell everyone i told we were expecting, that i had lost the baby was the hardest thing ive ever had to do...

ladies... what should i do?! im flipping out!!!! out of pure joy, being terrified and utterly confused! should i take another test now,, wait it out a few days------- haha i can feel my heart beating against my chest!!!