16-10-2009 - Damn NHS!

My mood while writing this blog: Angry and fed up

So as you all know, I decided to go to the docs last week and get myself sorted. Doctor put me down for an abdominal ultrasound so they can check for PCOS etc. and said he would list me as urgent so I can be seen quickly. Well a week later I've heard nothing so I called the doctors yesterday to ask why I haven't got a date for my scan yet. They said they would look into it. An hour later they called back and I was told that the hospital have decided it's not urgent (even though my doctor says it is) and that I will therefore have to wait 4-6 weeks for an appointment. Soooo angry and fed up. I'm flying to America on business for 2 weeks next Sunday and then to Germany for a week with work too so probably won't be able to see anyone now until w/c 26th November, by which point I will probably have had another period (I'm CD 87 today). This really annoys me as I'm hoping the outcome will be that they put me on clomid, but if they do that and i have to wait for my next period going by the length of my cycles I could be waiting until March/April time next year.

I have private healthcare with my work, and have spoken to them, but I'm not covered. I can choose to pay for a private scan and if the results mean I'm sent to one of thier recognised specialists and if that specialist then uses the scan I am covered, but that's a lot of "ifs", so I just have to wait.

Just spoke to DH to tell him I'm not covered and he has made me even more angry and upset. His response "well I don't think it's a bad thing, being made to wait will give you more time to relax and just chill about it" WTF! He seems to think I'm thinking too much about TCC at that is why nothing is happening. I wish I was thinking about TCC I am so not. I've stopped charting, temping and monitoring CM. And I would stop coming to this site if I thought it was doing me any harm, but you guys are all such good support I'd hate not to have you all to speak to. All I'm thinking at the mo is how messed up my cycles are and worryig if it is an underlying health problem.

Grrr, what a way to end the week. I'm really starting to think maybe all this is a sign and I'm not meant to ever get pregnant :-(

x