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07-6-2009 - 12 weeks??

My mood while writing this blog: tired

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So by my Midwife due date I am 12 weeks today. This makes me worry because at 12 weeks with Liam I was horrible sick for about 2-3 weeks and couldn't do much more then lay on the couch and try not to throw up. I am stressing a little I will get that sick again and now have Liam to take care of. My iron is good and I am going to get them to check it again when i go for my next midwife appointment July 16th. I am getting excited for my ultra sound in a week. I sort of feel like maybe I am further along then 12 weeks because my tummy is already hard and round and wasn't like that with my other boys. So far however, knock on wood!, I am feeling really good and have only gained about 3 pounds. amazing considering I have been eating horrible :( I really need to stop that but have been super stressed out lately. Not sure people know but in April first Liam's birthday was ruined for me, then he ended up in the hospital with respitory issues. We bought a house and I found out I was pregnant the same week that we moved. A week in our new house my husband lost his job and has had to take a huge pay cut for the job he has now so affording our mortgage is going to be tough. On top of that my oldest son is nothing but stress at 14 he is a bundle of attitude and rudeness. He was failing school and refusing to get up, fighting with me and my husband constantly, hitting his little brother and just being over all horrid. Finally this last week I had enough and while I didn't kick him out I told him he either lives with the rules or he finds a new place to live and he decided to find a new place to live. I miss him like crazy but I know for the health of everyone in our home its better he is somewhere else. I however, have not adjusted to well to him being gone although I try not to show it. I think about him almost constantly, worry he is not ok, worry he is ok and likes it there better, worry he is never going to return home and we are never going to have a relationship. I even dream about him and find my sleeping has been really bad. Its so very hard to sit back and question every thing you have done as a parent that your child has turned against you and your love so badly. I want to hope its just a phase and he will come back with a better attitude but I am not so sure. I do feel like i failed him, like maybe I expected too much or never told him enough what a great kid he was. Over all its been a hard few months and this is possibly the worst timing for me to be pregnant. Which was not planned since I was on the patch. I later read however if you weight more then 190 your chances of getting pregnant on the patch jump to 65%! So let that be a warning!!!! Apparently rates with birth control are also very high if your overweight. GRRR us fatties can't ever cut a break huh!

Well keep posted on the U/S and due date etc. We have decided not to find out the baby's sex so can't keep you posted on that until December.

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3 Comments on 12 weeks??


Amyb32 - Monday, 8 Jun
Hey Pook!!

Hang in there. I know things seem chatoic at the moment, but things have a way of working out. i know all about the teenage attitude thing. Zack is hard to deal with as well. he even tried to run away a few weeks ago. He called me 7 hours later for a ride. He was in a nearby town. I'm sure Sy will see that you aren't all that bad. Maybe a little time in the real world will knock him down a few notches. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Take Care, Amy

shavg - Sunday, 7 Jun
Awww pook, i didnt realise that Sy had gone off again. I'm sorry, you must feel just awful without him around! You know, the same thing happened to me at a similar age, I guess alot of things came to pass, and my dad and me just could not live together, it didnt mean we loved each other any less, but in that time of our lives it was for the best. (we were both difficult!) Just know that no matter what is said or done, Sy is your lifeblood, and he knows it deep down and he's prolly hurting just as much as you are, hes just not mature and wise enough to know it/say it! Awesome to hear u have a big bump forming!! WHERE are the pics!!!???
Love ya a bunch x0x (p.s eat away, ur preggo!!!)

kris10 - Sunday, 7 Jun
aww melissa, your son will come home! you are his mom and he loves you, he's just enjoying his friend's house right now because obviously they have no rules, but once the new wears off, he'll be back! you are a great mom... sometimes kids just go off course for a while, i know i did!