CD25: (10 or 11 dpo)

I'm still bleeding.... I'm really starting to wonder if I've had an early miscarriage.... that the baby didn't implant well. It started out like a regular implantation bleed. I was passing little tiny bits of brown tissue. And now it's gotten heavier. It's still dark brown but It looks the same as what I was losing with my first miscarriage. It's nothing like af. I'm only bleeding when I use the restroom..... no other times. One time it will be very light.... one time it will seem closer to moderate. Either way.... Implantation bleeds surely don't last for this long.

I talked to a friend in my nursing class last night who was pregnant with twins. Her implantation bleed lasted for two weeks and her doctor told her that it was because her uterus was stretching so quickly to accomodate the baby. I'm trying to remain positive but it's very hard. I just wonder what is going to happen with my cycle now.... if I'm not pregnant.... is this considered my cycle? Or will I start af when I'm supposed to next week?

What a mess.

I'm so miserable today. I'm so tired of being confident that I'm pregnant and finding out that I'm not. This is heartbreaking and I don't know why it's happening to me. All I want is a healthy baby.... and that doesn't seem like too much to ask.

Sorry I'm so negative this morning.... I think it's important to be honest and I want to share the bad with the good. Not everyday is perfect & I'll look back later and be glad that I was able to acknowledge these bad days.

Thank you all so much for your support and prayers. ~ Jamie

CD25: UPDATE:

I've done some more research on implantation bleeding.... and I've decided that I need to relax and see what happens. It seems that a lot of women experienced moderate bleeding for 4 days- 2 weeks during the first part of their pregnancies.... and they carried to full term.

So... it's too soon to give up. Hopefully this bleeding is just a great indication that the egg is really burrowed into there good.... and it's not going anywhere. :)

I freaked out this morning because the blood reminded me so much of my miscarriage. I think that I jumped to conclusions and immediately assumed the worse outcome. Though it is possible that I could suffer from another miscarriage.... it's also very possible that I could be pregnant with a very strong baby. So~ I'm going to be more positive from here on out and see what the next few days bring.

CD26: (11 or 12 dpo)

No sign of bleeding today......

I have no idea what to believe at this point. The bleeding lasted for 4 days total.... it was on and off, spotting to very light, dark brown, and only occured when I used the restroom. Of all the blood I lost in those 4 days, it was not enough to fill a pad.

I would mark it off as af except that it was nothing like af. I bleed heavily with af, it's red blood, and it's accompanied by a lot of cramping. And af has NEVER come on day 21. Perhaps my cycle is just messed up from my miscarriage but I have a hard time believing that because my first cycle after my miscarriage was perfectly normal and came on at 29 days. Who knows though.... there is no rhyme or reason to our bodies.... perhaps this has been af coming and going.... perhaps this was an attempt at implantation & it didn't stick. This could also be a sign of a very healthy implantation.

I'm waiting until Sunday morning.... if I don't have any other bleeding by then, I'll test just to be sure. And if it's negative.... it's back to the drawing board~ and I'm going to have to use O predictor sticks this coming month because there's no telling when ovulation will occur.

Thanks for checking in.... if anyone has any opinions or advice, please feel free to share as I'm completely confused at this point. :)