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| 30-4-2008 - 18 weeks along |
My mood while writing this blog: okay |
I'm 18 weeks 4 days today, and I'm really procrastinating on school stuff. I have 3 papers and 2 tests in the next two weeks, and all day I have just been online. I just can't seem to get motivated and the pregnancy is making me really really lethargic. I can't believe how big the baby is. When I wake up in the morning, I always reach down to feel how much bigger my belly has become, and every day I smile. Everyone around me asks, how far along are you? aren't you really small for 4 1/2 months? I know those things are supposed to be compliments, but it kind of makes me sad, and a little angry. I want to shout at them, we're fine, okay! But that's probably just the hormones talking.
I can feel slight movement in my womb and I even felt the baby roll over a few days ago. When I sit at my computer desk, the weight of my abdomen pushes against the baby and I can feel her moving, but this time was different. I felt a little spine (maybe 3 inches or so) brush against the wall of my uterus... definitely a full turn. Maybe I'm giving birth to a little gymnast. My OB said I'm still pretty early to feel movement, but I must just be sensitive because it sounded like I could actually feel her, and I know what I feel. So that's that.
Tyler and I found a house last week and signed a lease. The house is really nice... 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, an office, a huge yard, and it's in a really nice neighborhood, so that's good. Tyler is really getting excited about the baby and yesterday he was even kissing my belly. I wanted to cry. I guess it's just that he reacted pretty badly at first (even hinted at getting a you-know-what), so it's so nice to see him actually happy about the baby. We're pretty set on getting engaged, but to be honest, I'd love to just stay engaged forever, you know? A wedding... marriage?! It all seems so... irreversible. And I know that we've known each other for years, but what if he totally changes? or what if I do? I'm not afraid of committing to him (yes I am), but the divorce rate in this country is freaking terrifying. I don't want to force my kid to live in two different houses with two people who used to love each other and now just tolerate one another. So... we can have a life like Gene Simmons (you know, he has a reality show about his family... he and his "girlfriend" have been together forEVER and have two kids... I could do that :) ). I'm pretty sure I'm rambling at this point, but hopefully I'll write again soon.
Oh yeah! We have our ultrasound on May 14th (2 weeks from today!) and we'll get to see the gender. I'm starting to not want to know, but Tyler is pretty stuck on finding out so... I'll let you know what we're having in just a couple of weeks!
-R
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