Write a new blog
|01-8-2009 - Feelin Better
||My mood while writing this blog:|
Ok, so last nite was very emotional for me. I told myself I didn't care what baby was as long as it was healthy and on track. With all my infertility issues she's a lil miracle baby anyways. And I was sooooooo happy to see her growth was on target, all my tests are good, etc. However, once the ultrasound revealed a girl? I was more disappointed then I thought I'd be. I guess I wanted a boy more than a thought...knowing this will prob be my last baby due to finaces, etc I wanted my son.
By the end of the nite I was in tears as I was happy this baby is fine after all we've been thru. I was also crying as I realized I wasn't getting my son. I must admit, I was more disappointed than even I thought I'd be. I lay in bed, talking to my husband..who wanted a boy soooooooo bad but was taking the news better then me. However, a lot of it was just my emotions falring up too. ( the joys of pregnancy). I also wanted a boy for my daddy. He passed away from cancer less than a year ago. All dad wanted was a son, which he never got. Then he wanted a grandson. Although dad was gone with the due date right around the time of the holidays and dad's death, I wanted to honor him by giving him the grandson...even though he is not around in person, I wanted to honor him in that way. So, having a girl..made me feel as though I let daddy down. I know it sounds crazy...
After talking out my feelings with my husband alst nite I felt a lot better. I know we all will love lil Abbie whether boy or girl. Having a 2nd girl won't change anything. We even started discussing nursery themes! I fell asleep, woke up feeling good and am now excited to be having a girl! Posting ultrasound pics up and sharing the news! Shopping for girls are so much fun..and I can't wait to do it again. ( my dghtr now is 8, so I am starting all over again)
So...I am a lot better today. I have come to terams and am excited to have a 2nd girl as Alexis has been so much fun and I cant wait for lil Abbie! I can't wait to ahve a baby shower and can't wait to start getting ehr nurssery set up. We are going to do a zoo animal theme! I am, this mornign excited and much better and happier then yesterday!
Comments on Feelin Better