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15-5-2009 - remembering the nerves

My mood while writing this blog: anxious

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We are trying again and today I started remembering how those first few weeks with Noah's pregnancy were. At seven weeks we though it might be ectopic but the utltrasound said nope he was fine. Then at 12 weeks they were worried about heartrate another ultrasound another nope he is just fine but the placenta was a little low. At 20 weeks we had the standard ultrasound and all was well with Noah but the placenta was still low so they checked it again at 28 weeks and cleared me for delivery. At 37 weeks they though he was breech so guess what...another ultrasound. Nope he was fine but still way up there so I probably wouldn't be going into labor anytime soon they said...three days later my water broke...30 hours after that I finally got to start pushing...4 hours after that emergency c-section. Out pops our perfect healthy baby boy. But what about mom...I was a ball of nerves for 9 months. Especially that first trimester. I was scared everytime I went to the bathroom.

I have decided all of us who want another baby must be just slightly crazy. LOL. I mean really how will I handle all the worry of another pregnancy with all the worry of Noah. What is that cough, is he eating enough, too skinny...too fat...milestones. Just thinking about it makes my head swim.

But I want another soooo bad now. Noah is so affectionate with us and has a loving temperment that just screams "MAKE ME A BIG BROTHER!!!! I WILL TOTALLY ROCK AT IT" I know most pregnancies end with healthy babies and I know some don't. It's taking that jump of faith that is the scary part. I am probably just crazy and making no sense but I am sure there are some who feel like I do.

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3 Comments on remembering the nerves


crystalmooon - Sunday, 19 Jul
I know that screaming little worry that lives in the back of your head... how will I do it (pregnancy) all over again but with the added fears of raising a toddler?? I hated being pregnant (until I wasn't pregnant anymore then I missed it - go figrure!) I had a threatened miscarrage, I had all day sickness for the first almost 5 months, I had a stubborn UTI that wouldn't go away, I was swollen and achey and cranky and unbearably hot in my own skin... YUCK! And then Trent decided to come 2 months early - we have no idea why and we have no idea if it'll happen again with my next pregnancy. I want another one so much... but can I handle another 2 months in a NICU while chasing after Trent? Can I even handle the same kind of pregnancy while doing it? ARGH! I guess my little mini novel here is just trying to say... you aren't alone - having a baby is scary... and we're all a little nuts to want to do it again - just that's what makes us moms... we'll put ourselves through the ringer for that little bean! Hope you get your BFP soon ((huggz)) ~Tina

tribegirl08 - Monday, 6 Jul
I'm going through the exact same thing right now. My son is 8.5 months and I'm remembering how stressful being pregnant was. I also remember how WONDERFUL it was and i miss feeling those little kicks. This is the way I look at it--I'd rather do it sooner than later while it's all still relatively fresh in my head. I still remember what feels normal and what is cause for concern (I spent ALL My free time online last pregnancy looking up everything that seemed odd). I figure this way, maybe I won't freak out as much over every ilttle thing. I had issues 1st trimester last time too--bleeding from wks 6-10 along with cramps (turned out to be a bladder infection--ouch!), thought I was leaking fluid constantly (just pee lol), and then high blood pressure 3rd trimester, failed first glucose test, and went into labor 3 weeks early. BUT--now that we have a baby to keep us busy and occupied, I think there will be less time for worry, as time flies by at an astonishing rate! Baby #2 would arrive before we know what happened lol. Anyway, I just wanted to say I know what you're going through. Good luck...I hope this is the month we can both conceive :)

LillBitt75 - Friday, 15 May
Yes you are not alone. I was exactly the same way with my first and now I worry about everything with him and he's almost a year old. I can't believe how fast it has gone by. I'm so ready for number 2 even though I was nothing but a ball of stress during my pregnancy as well. Suffered a miscarriage the first time so I too was scared everytime I went to the bathroom!! And so even with all those fears I can't wait to do it again!! Good luck to you!!