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17-7-2009 - HOW DARE YOU!!!!

My mood while writing this blog: seriously upset

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okay worst lunch EVER. I went to lunch with this new moms club a friend of mine is in and the conversation turned to BFing. They were all discussing thier problems with it and so forth and then someone asked me how it was going for me. I said 'it's not'. I don't BF because I didn't produce barely any breastmilk and since I lost a lot of blood during the c/s they didn't want to give me drugs to produce more. The doctor basically said just formula feed this one. He also warned me this most likely would happen again with any subsequent pregnancies. I told everyone at the table this and one of those women looked at me and said 'well maybe you shouldn't have anymore babies if you can't provide them with proper nutrition' I just got up paid my bill and left. Seriously what is it with people these days????

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14 Comments on HOW DARE YOU!!!!


Aiona - 29.4 hours ago
Ugh! How irritating! Definitely not a mommy's club I'd want to go to! Your friend must have been so embarrassed.

surprise3 - Friday, 4 Sep
Hi, we have a friend in common and I was bored at work and just looking around and saw your profile and this blog.OMG, I can't believe the nerve of that woman! Wow. I'm stunned!If you told me that you gave your child cow's milk instead of formula, i would have said anything, but common... lots of people can't or don't feel comfortable BFing...

Abigails Mommy - Friday, 21 Aug
I have to agree with brendalee.. I would have slapped her, told her maybe she shouldn't procreate and left. BFing worked for me until I went back to work and was stressed. I couldn't make enough to keep up with her so we switched to formula. Did I feel bad? Yes Did I live through it with a perfectly healthy daughter? Yes I hope you didn't let the ignorant ruin your whole day.

Brandi J. - Monday, 3 Aug
I'm sorry that you had such a horrible experience. This mom should never had said that. I was not able to BF my first child either, mine for different reasons than yours. I am very thankful that I have been able to BF each of my other children. I suggest that you find a different doctor for your next pregnancy, b/c what this doctor told you is not true. It sounds to me like you found a doctor who is not BFing friendly. It is ultimately your decision if you BF or not. If you are not interested then it is not a big deal to stay with that dr., but if it is something you would like to do, then please consider finding a dr. who is more supportive.Congratulations on your bundle of joy! Enjoy that precious baby! something I have learned through my years of parenting is that people are going to talk, and everyone has advice, some you can take and use and some you will wish they would have kept to themselves. Take what you can and leave the rest.kGod Bless,Brandi

TashaS - Saturday, 18 Jul
That was so not right! Who the hell does she think she is anyways?? Just b/c you can't BF doesn't mean that you're not "providing proper nutrition" for your kids. AGH!! I hate that. As far as I'm concerned too many people are literally "shoving" BF'ing down expecting mothers throats. My mom had to have an emergency C-section when she had me; the meds made her unable to even hold me for 2 weeks (yes that was in '83 and not yesterday but still...) let alone BF me. My and my siblings were all formula fed and we're all perfectly healthy. You're so strong for not decking her before you walked out... although I'm sure you were tempted.

LGK616 - Saturday, 18 Jul
As a breastfeeding mother to a 9 month old - that comment was completely out of line. I don't care if you don't breasfteed - just like you shouldn't care that I do!!! She was probably a first-time-mum who has every baby book there is to mankind - does everything just the way they tell you to - has her baby's closet totally "sleeping with the enemy" style and thinks that she was the first woman ever on earth to give birth. Good for you for walking out - but I totally would have bitch-slapped her first!!!! Skank!!! xox

Ashes~is~Blessed - Friday, 17 Jul
OH HELL NO!!!!! I am SOOOO SICK of mothers who make other mom's feel like shit for not BFing!!! I BFed both my kids for about 2 weeks but I JUST COULDN'T after that...I kept getting SEVERELY clogged custs and was at a constant risk for mastitis so my DR. on BOTH occasions said that my body may just not be able to handle it....my MIL999GRR) said it wasn't natural that I don't BF and it pissed me off!! Don't let anyone tell you it's wrong....Babies who are forrmula fed are just as strong and healthy and smart as BFed babies!! (i should know my 5 years olf is abpve average in everything and is super healthy) I am so sorry hun! POWER TO US FORMULA FEEDERS!!! WOO HOO! :)

1sttimemommyk - Friday, 17 Jul
Very inappropriate!!! Some people really just have no manners... You did the right thing by leaving and not partaking in the conversation.


brendalee - Friday, 17 Jul
I would have slapped her and left.

cpalmer - Friday, 17 Jul
omg i would have definalty freaked out before i left lol but thats just me....dont let them try and tell u who u are, u are an amazing woman who gave life to someone and its a miracle whether or not u breastfeed!! :)

sara-in-oregon - Friday, 17 Jul
That's crazy! It's not like you were stocking your cabinets with formula before the baby shower! And even if you had... so what!

It really bothers me when people think just because they had something relatively easy that someone who hasn't has somehow done something wrong. Sure I BF. It was easy for me. But I know it's not that way for everyone.

You should have told her she shouldn't have any children if she couldn't provide the proper polite role model for them!


mamalvs4 - Friday, 17 Jul
How inappropraite, the how breastfeeding thing is just really over the top in my opinon! So that must mean that those people out there that CANT have kids and are lucky enough to adopt should either? since obviously they cant produce milk. people make me sick good for you for not popping her in the mouth

youngmom3 - Friday, 17 Jul
You are a GREAT mother no matter if you bf or bottle! You gave them life! I would of done the same thing! Dont feel to bad, w/ my first i was 16 yrs old and didnt know what i was doing so my milk dried up w/in 1 month, then my son we had a bad del. he got stuck and they had to break his left collor bone and right arm, i had to ladies on top of my punching down to try to get him out, so w/ the beating that my body took my milk never really would come in as well as the pills didnt work for me. Good luck! Keep your head up!

tribegirl08 - Friday, 17 Jul
wow...first off, this mom makes all breastfeeding mom's look like bit****! Breastfeeding is what works for my son and myself...but I can't speak for every woman. She doesn't know your background and your situation. I think that's very insensitive, not to mention RUDE of her. There's many parts to being a good parent...it doesn't come down to how you choose to feed your child.