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05-12-2009 - Weeping for a month

My mood while writing this blog: remembering

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A month ago today my world crushed and fell ~ again.
A month ago today my youngest child flew to Paradise.
A month ago today my hope was crushed.
A month ago today my faith was shaken.
A month ago today my womb became empty again.
A month ago today our future became uncertain.
A month ago today the sackcloth was brought out.
A month ago today we donned our grief.
A month ago today the weeping gates flew open.

Today I am still weeping.
Today I am asking, why?
Today I am so lonely.
Today my hope and faith are trying.
Today my womb itself is crying out.
Today I feel isolated, alone.
Today I feel ashamed, humiliated.
Today my arms ache for the children I can never hold.
Today my breasts ache to nurture and overflow.
Today I wonder what God is doing.
Today I just can't see.
Today my heart is breaking ~ again.

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Tears for Peace ~ by Mommy

Teardrops fell when I learned you were growing inside,
Teardrops fell when I first saw you -so little- on the screen,
Teardrops fell when your heart beat in beautiful rhythms,
Teardrops fell when you were delivered into my bloody hand.

Teardrops fall because I love you so incredibly much.
Teardrops fall because you are gone from our home and our arms.
Teardrops fall because your brother is lonely.
Teardrops fall because Mommy and Daddy miss you so extremely.
Teardrops fall because you are our precious, beloved baby ~ but you are so far away.

Each day I feel farther away from you,
Farther from holding you in my belly~
It burns me from the inside out.
But each day I am closer to you,
Closer to when I can join you in Paradise
And enjoy an eternity together without tears.

No matter where I go,
No matter what I do,
I miss you every single moment~
Heartache and emptiness and tears.

My love for you remains,
It always and forever will.
My sweet baby Peace,
We will meet again.
With tears of joy instead of pain.

~I love you, baby dear, and I miss you so much~

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9 Comments on Weeping for a month


heids - Sunday, 13 Dec
The most beautiful, heart breaking yet loving words I've read I know at least a part of your pain, I wish you solace in this storm. Hxxx

min41 - Tuesday, 8 Dec
I cry for you, I cry for me, and I cry for all of us who miss our little angels. I am praying that this one is a real big BFP for you and stays the distance sweetie.

missing*my*2angels - Monday, 7 Dec
These poems are very nice....I am praying for your BFP soon

juliegirly26 - Sunday, 6 Dec
this is beautiful and it really toched me...i don't go a day without thinking of what could have been...i hope you are doing ok.

ourlittlehogi - Saturday, 5 Dec
thank you for sharing...it helps so many others. so sorry you're experiencing such heartache.

feefees a mom 2 be - Saturday, 5 Dec
Red I feel your pain - I have no children, and many angels and everything you have written I feel. I pray for the strength of the holy spirit to overcome this pain, beause I don't think there is anything else that can dull its ache. May peace be with you.

mamaitaly - Saturday, 5 Dec
Beautiful poems, I'm so sorry you have to go through so much pain

butterfly-angel - Saturday, 5 Dec
Ahhh hun....You express your feelings so beautifully..my heart is broken for you.....you are in my heart today and always xxx

readyfor3 - Saturday, 5 Dec
You're always in my thoughts and prayers. x