Well, ended up waking up early to go with my paternal grandmother to go get a carseat today. Its a Pooh Bear carseat, which I thougth was too cute, but most importantly its been rated good and will be safe for my son. *sighs* Now the only thing I did not enjoy too much is that she likes to critisize me or lecture me. Now don't get me wrong she's a very intelligent and strong woman and she definitely knows whats she talking about at times, but there are these times she likes to bring up stuff like she shouldn't. Well, first it all started when she innocently brought up the topic of birth control and whether if I've talked to my doctor about it or not. And I've told her my doctor and I have already discussed it and I'm still deciding which of the many birth control options am I gonna choose for myself. Well, she then started saying "Oh well if you were on birth control in the first place you wouldn't be going through this mess of being pregnant..."

Here I am at 36 weeks, hormonal, irritated, and tired because my body is going through all these changes because it won't be too much longer before my son is here.. To be honest hearing her pretty much stating that my son is a mistake when I'm this far along isn't exactly what I wanted to hear.. I know she means well, that she loves me and her great grandbaby, but doesn't understand how she upsets me when brings this up. Yes I'm nineteen years old, in college trying to make something of myself, but I never intentionally planned this baby. However, I'm not going to let those facts bring me down, in fact I'm going to use them my advantage. I will be getting my college degress in nursing, I've been in college almost 2 1/2 years already and I'm going to be raising and taking care of my son because he's my responsibility and top priority. Now when she first learned I was pregnant and I was telling her all about my pregnancy so far, she seemed not interested. And so one when I was asleep, she came over and was speaking to my mother and saying I shouldn't be this excited about my pregnancy and blah blah blah. My mom got offended a bit, but didn't say much to her about it.

Well, anyways I had just called my mother to tell her about the carseat and told her what my grandmother had said. My mother didn't seem to happy to hear what my grandma had said at all. She said I should've said "Its a little late now isn't?" She gets along with her motherinlaw (my grandma) and loves her, but doesn't always agree with her about some of the things she says. Let's just hope my grandmother is smart enough not to say anything on the lines of making it sound like my son is a mistake to my parents.

I was a bit upset and just felt so offended, so I called my other grandma, my maternal grandma and told her what my other grandma said. She told me not to worry about it and thinks it wasn't nice of what my dad's mom had said to me, but told me to ignore it. My aunt overheard our conversation and told me not to worry because she went through the same thing with her grandma. She was my exact age when she got pregnant with my cousin and got judged for it. However, her grandma told her she was a whore and that her daughter was better off dead because my cousin has down syndrome, so at least my paternal grandma isn't that mean and upfront like my aunt's.

*sighs* I know people are going to judge because I am young, but whats the point in doing so when this child is so close to being here? Its not gonna help anything. If anything instead of telling me what I should've done, she needs to try to give me advice on what I need to do now, and advice on raising a child. Those are things I can benefit from and would make a lot of sense to talk about with me.