19-7-2009 - Could I Be Though??

My mood while writing this blog: confused and nervous

Okay let me start by saying no I'm not using any type of birth control because the pill I was on messed with me a lot. And I'm trying to see a doctor about using Yaz. Okay it all started with a strange period which July 7th 2009 It lasted just a few days. I dunno. I just remember thinking "Did it really end this early?!" It just didn't seem normal. I dunno.

While Jeff and I are not using protection, we also use the withdrawl method, which works for us. He doesn't finish inside me vaginally, but other places (so sorry for the tmi!).

Well, anyways one of my really good friends who is also a mom has noticed I sleep or tired more. Well one day while Jeff was playing a video game and killed off a character. I cried. Now I know there are some video games that can make me sad, but for this instance there was no reason. This character had no role in the story at all. As if he were a random character. Its like crying when a extra in a Zombie movie gets killed.

And then I got super emotional when we watched a movie and the husband cheated on the wife. If other people watched they wouldn't let's say that.

Then I cried so bad I had super bad heart palpatations (your heart speeds really fast and makes you sick) that I ready to puke. Jeff laughed thinking I was faking it because it was so unbelievable!! This is the crying I would do when someone died or something horrible had happened. And you know what!? I don't even remember why I cried!!! How scary to know you cried that bad and you don't know why.

I dunno if this is even revelant at all, but I NEVER had heartburn in my life before I got pregnant with Aidan. And thought it was weird the other day I got heartburn that I ended up taking tums and I think I got it on a different occasion too.. I dunno its strange to me!

Well, this last thing leaves me clueless, but I'm cramping! Just like I did when I had round ligaments when I was pregnant with Aidan!

I had pain from ovulating before, but doesn't feel like this, its a total different feeling. This feel like a light period cramp like I had when my uterus was expanding when pregnant with Aidan.

I know my body can play tricks and this could be my imagination but keep in mind this feels real to me!

I mean is it possible to have a baby from pre-cum 0.0 I'm dying to take a test to put my fears to rest, but there's no way I can ask anyone to take me to the store to get a damn test. I mean unless I want to freak them out bad. I dunno thinking about going to see my doctor for sure and do their preggo test lol. Either that or do you think at Aidan's next pediatrician appt they could let me test? I know they got the tests up there, just don't know if I ask they would let me do it. Maybe I'll just walk to the store and just purchase one (doubt be today if I do wait).

Okay dates to remember

May 10th- period

June 8th- period

July 7th- strange period

I'll write more if I think of anything. But tell me your thoughts, opinions on what this is. Am I out of my mind? Or could I possibly be pregnant? I know the chances are slim, but I dunno. Do you think I have enough reason to even wonder?