25-9-2008 - Hadley's birth-day

My mood while writing this blog: relieved

So the last thing I wrote was that we were going to hospital as I was having contractions about 5 minutes apart after my shower. We got there and saw some midwives who said I was in very early labour and was still only 3cm dilated. While she was in there so to speak she stretched the membranes that bit more. I told them I was not really coping well with the pain already but they said if they put me in a delivery room now they would be in trouble as I wasn�t in �established� labour. So we went for a walk around the hospital grounds where I managed some curb walking ie one leg up on the curb, one on the street. Then for a walk through the neighboring botanical gardens, while having contractions roughly 5 minutes apart. At one point they got to 2 minutes apart so we went back to the hospital again. Again they observed what was happening but my contractions had become a bit irregular although very painful. She said we could stay there in this little observation room or go home. AT first I thought there was no way I would go home as I was just in too much pain and already not coping. But I was uncomfortable and my feet were swollen and I felt inhibited. We went home and I hopped in the bath, all while having contractions. Hubby was pouring water on my back as the contractions came. Mum brought me in some mango, home made vegie soup and toast. I needed it. after about 2 hours and many water top ups I got out and lay in bed. I watched some documentary and tried to sleep. At this point I couldn�t care less about anything and a home birth sounded like a good idea. I was still having contractions a few minutes apart when all of a sudden my waters broke and I felt a huge gush. Hubby thought it was time to go back to the hospital so we all mobilised and drove back. On the way the contractions were still intense so hubby had me counting. I found I could keep attention on air going in and out and distract myself that way. At the hospital I was checked for dilation and was still only 3 or 4. She did another stretch on me and told me to go for a walk. I said there was no way I could walk and needed some pain relief right then. She finally said they would fill a bath and I should take a shower. We were shown the room and I was finally given access to the gas. I was cold and tried to get warm in the shower but it really was providing no relief and the gas made me feel a little silly. I tried kneeling, standing, kneeling on one leg, rocking and my version of a belly dance but nothing brought relief. After I don�t know how long, I got out and lay in bed under covers still having gas. The midwife who had been looking after me was leaving and she introduced me to the new midwife Jo. I hopped in the bath and expected to feel relief in the water while having the gas, but I couldn�t. I wasn�t comfortable, I wasn�t feeling better and nothing I did made any difference. I started to imagine every contraction was a tripod from war of the worlds shooting down things � don�t know why. The new midwife wasn�t qualified to do water births, as I had been warned might happen and after a discussion with other hospital staff, she said she would feel better if I got out. I started feeling like I was being tortured and began the process of begging for an epidural. The birthing centre would have had to move me out to another part of the hospital and I didn�t care, I just wanted it bad. The whole plan was to cope with the contractions with gas a bath and the gas did nothing for me and the bath wasn�t relieving. There was no way I would cope with the rest of the labour I knew that. I think they checked me again and had only dilated a little bit more, I cant really remember but I was talked into having some pethidine. I needed something badly. Once the pethidine kicked in I was able to cope with contractions a little better and even sleep between them. I draped myself over a bean bag on the bed. The sleeping part worried them and they thought this might slow things down so they got me up to walk around, which was very difficult. Did I mention that all this was done in the nude? At some point they decided they would put a drip in of the syntocinin to speed things up. I wish they had done this ages back but anyway. The cervix was stretchy apparently so she said that next time I had a contraction to push and see if anything happened but I could not push. Going to the toilet was hard work but they also encouraged me to do this to clear out the bladder. I begged them for more pethidine once it wore off and they put it off for about 2 miserable hours during which time I was literally begging them for an epidural or something else. At one point I felt I was pushing and from then on kept pushing until he was born. I looked up to find at least 4 midwives in the room and some were telling me to push and pant and all I wanted to do was push. I felt the burning ring of fire but I just wanted him out. Once I had the head out I just squeezed and out he came in rush. I could not believe it was all over. A midwife injected me in the thigh and a few minutes later the placenta was born. They looked at me to see if I needed stitches but I just said I didn�t want them. They said there was only grazing anyway. Once baby is born, all the pain really is over. I hope I haven�t repeated myself.

They had to whisk him away and rub him instead of putting him on my chest, so I just watched on and hoped he was ok. he was a little blue and non responsive. After some warming under the lights and a little rubbing he was fine and they gave him to me. Seconds later I breastfed him; it was so surreal, I couldnt believe he was finally out and all that pain was gone. I was so elated but exhausted and I felt a bit away from myself. I could barely speak properly and I couldnt hear properly either. I had been given pethidine not long before he was born so I was still feeling the effects of that. I looked around the room and it looked like a mass murder had taken place. There was blood everywhere. In the toilet on the bathroom floor, on the bed. I was finally able to be taken off the drip and put some clothes on. I was absolutely shattered and so was hubby. After the baby was born and dressed (can't remember who dressed him) he fell asleep in his cot and we started contacgting people. Then I thought, what now? So I had a shower and put some clean clothes on and the room got cleaned up and fresh sheets on the bed. There was literally nothing to do. I was too wired to sleep although hubby had no trouble relaxing. Then people kept coming to the room like th photography lady, and the physiotherapist who gave me a talking to about getting back into shape and what have you. There was no radio and no television and I was bored. There was a game of footy on that night and I wouldnt be able to watch it stuck in here. Then we decided that we may as well go home. So we began the process of packing up things and then my mum came to visit. I was so excited for her to meet Hadley and she told me that her and the girls slept in the lounge room as they were waiting for a phone call and they would have come in. She left and we said we would be there soon. WE tried to leave but were told to go back as we had to talk to them and organise visits by the health nurse etc. We went back to the room and waited for what seemed like ages. Eventually, we were allowed to leave and it was about 2pm or so. On the way home we got KFC. I couldn't believe that I was in the parking lot of KFC with my newly born baby, who was fast asleep and we were on the way home. I swear I had lost all taste because I was eating but it tasted so boring. We got home and the girls followed soon after. They were wrapped to see their baby brother and disappointed they hadn't been allowed to stay home for the day, but it was the last day of term anyway and they were now off school for two weeks